Hi all,
I feel I must ask the question, how many of us out there have actualy tried to kill ourselves.I know for one,that I have on many an occasion.Thank God I don,t have the gumsion for it.How many have succeded and no one knows,the fogotten people. All those people that live in the small out of the way places.I just thought I would ask the question that no-one asks.WHAT ABOUT THOSE ONES WE DON,T KNOW ABOUT???
Cheers,

Marty.

Hey Marty, keep that chin up, you have no reason to give the government the satisfaction of finnishing the job they started by killing yourself. Life can be a pain sometime, but that's overall temporary, death is permenant, and besides, if we kill ourselves off, who's gonna be around to fight for the kids of the vets? It's still going to be a few years before most of them will have any kind of a legal voice, and without us around this could all just disappear. Minus, of course, their health issues. Not to mention the fact that no matter how awful things are, how bad we feel, how sick of the doctors offices we get, giving the government the satisfaction of being able to point and say "see they were crazy, had to be, they killed themselves" is not exactly the kind of eulogy that I personally would like to leave. Hang in there,

------------------

I have to say for the first 7 years after the storm, I could not do it, but i tried. I tried by drinking, getting into fights. Anything that gave me the potential to get killed, I tried. I felt very guilty about the things we did in the gulf war, it doesnt matter what other people say. We should have gotten some help from the military, counciling for after serving in combat. Our government spent so much money making marines killing machines , but none on returning you to regular life after you get out.
Then going to VA to try to find out whats wrong with me, they tell me there is nothing. I went from a bodybuilder, to a person unable to workout any more. So yeah they were brillant. So to answer your question, yes I did. As the other guy said however, why give OUR government the satisfaction. I am gonna try to live as long as I can, so they can pay me for the stuff they exposed me too.

Hey i'm new to this but I will try to share. After I left the Gulf I was just glad to be alive. I have to admit that it didn't last for long. I soon got sick and thought i was going crazy. nightmares, cold sweats, tremors. I increased my alchohol consumption untill I finally gave up and cut my wrists. It has taken me 8 yrs to get VA on the ball. long story short I am sick and scared as heck, but god is taking care of me.Hang in there and talk to someone. I know you don't know me, but hey brother I would be happy to talk to anybody about this garbage.-Jeff-

------------------

Hey icyman, Glad you're still here. Must tell ya though, 2 things. 1. I am a she, not a he, although I did spend 31/2 years answering to that about half the time. and 2. not only am I a vet, I'm married to one, I stayed in germany, he was in country. We have 3 wonderful kids, all with verious GWS issues. my hubby and I are basically symptom free. minor probs. for us, but our kids got screwed. Just like everyone else with GWS the doctors are lost, think I'm just an overprotective mom, etc. But if that's the case, you try to explain to a 9 year old that he may be going blind, or sit up night after night with kids who can't go to, or stay asleep. I'd really like one of them to give me a break and deal with my 4 year old little girl and her headaches and light sensitivity, tummy aches, and pain in her legs. Talk about guilt... Hubby and I raised our handsand took the oath, what did my kids do to deserve this?
you guys keep your chin up, life bites sometimes, but there are things worse than being where we are, we could be our kids.

------------------


[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 09-12-2001).]

Hey Marty, not saying that you are in that trian of thought now, but I to know why you want to ask such a question. I think about it every day and every day I find some reason not to. Maybe I'm just to tired to go through with it. I did read something on the net last week and found it to be food for thought. "you want to die to stop the pain, once your dead you will not have the opportunity to enjoy your new pain-less exisistance".

hello marty my boyfriend wason the frontine in the gulf and has been diagnosed with PTSD he has tried to kill himself on 2 occasions but fortunately not succeeded. He is always getting anger outbursts and drinks excessivly every dat to numg the pain. he has cried many a tears over the vets that have commited suicide. he is fighting for justice he wants soldiers that come back from war to be councelled, which is what he should have of had he is a changed person since the gulf, any way marty dont give in . try the combat stress website. all the best julia

Hi marty,

The major part of the third decade of my life (my whole twenties), were nothing short of a living nightmare.

After so long, I became certain, in my own mind, that I was, indeed, dying. When I was 25 years old, I had long since lost an enormous amount of my ability to function, and did not expect to live to see the age of 30.

It was the overwhelming fear (terror of the outside world), and depression that made the specter of suicide, never distant from my mind.

I hated those years. They were very dark, and hideous. Never again, will I allow myself to get sucked into that.

Probably the thing that got me moving forward, was contact, and making serious, important friends, who meant the world to me.

It's funny...so many people talk of the internet, as though it's an adictive trap, that takes over an obsessive surfers life, and closes out the outside world....but, for me, the net has had just the opposite effect.

But, anyway...yes, I was suicidal for many years.

...not anymore, though...I like living...