Let me start by saying my family and I do not get along at all. My uncle passed away yesterday. He has had a very rough year with cancer. I got the news from my aunt. I asked if they needed for me to come home - they live 3000miles away and said it wasnt really nesscary. I had asked if it was ok to call my uncles brother to say my coldolences and she said it wasnt a good ideas - she would pass the massage along to him. Which really hurts me because regardless of over differences I should be able to call them up - and if I dont call I will feel like garbage!!

What makes matters even more complicated is my grandmother is now in final stage of alzheimers and according to my aunt the doc isnt giving her much longer. I mean my heart is bleeding from them with the loss of there brother and then soon to be their mom. I wish they would let me be there with them through this - I dont get why they are doing this especially now. I really need my family - being so far away makes me feel completely helpless - useless - my mind is all over the place

I dont know what to do this is really hurting me......

Ley

Sorry for your loss. Some people just cannot deal w/ grief. When my dad died a little less than 3 years ago, it was like an explosion. The most horrible things were said from my brother to my mother (who has had cancer for years and is struggling herself), to my sister to me and back around again. I also found out who my real friends were. My two "best friends" from college who I knew for 12 years, lived near in two different states just couldn't deal with it. Nice to know you have friends especially when I was there when she lost her ex-boyfriend and he lost his partner. Then I lost my job (another long story).

My life has not recovered since then. I recently moved from LA to Tampa, Florida (I can't stand Florida) for my mother's sake. She was getting sicker and had nobody to help her. I felt obligated. I gave up a lot. I am very unhappy here.

I ask myself "why? Why? Why?" is this happening to me? I don't know. Maybe I'm being tested by some supreme being? All I can tell you is to take it one day at a time....and see a therapist. It helps to a degree.

Best to you.

Lleyton, during a time like this, emotions sometimes get the best of families. I just lost both of my parents within 5 weeks. I got the most hateful note from my father's sister-in-law. I was appaled. I saved it because I couldn't believe that someone would send something like this to a person who had lost both of her parents within 5 weeks.

If you feel the need to call, but are uncomfortable doing so, write a nice note and put it in a card and mail it to your uncle. this will let them know that you are still part of the family and are thinking of them and mourning with them.

You're in my prayers....