velvet rose
12-21-2007, 07:53 AM
I just don't get how it's possible to see a stain somewhere or a red spot and not freak out and have an anxiety attack from thinking you are at risk. The hand washing, the feeling of dirtiness and disease, the thoughts that you're life is going to be over and you will die painfully and be shunned because of HIV....I just don't get how a person is supposed to get over this type of ocd. It seems like as soon as you feel just ok, you see a stain or a spot that you don't know where it came from or you feel something sticky or greasy and can't explain where it came from. How is a person's mind supposed to be at ease?
I posted this on another ocd board but I am still so confused and upset over what to do. I don't know if my ocd will ever let me get over this. I don't know if my thinking about catching hiv is illogical or irrational or if I should continue to worry.
I posted this on another ocd board but I am still so confused and upset over what to do. I don't know if my ocd will ever let me get over this. I don't know if my thinking about catching hiv is illogical or irrational or if I should continue to worry.
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BadMalibu
12-21-2007, 02:10 PM
Velvet-
I don't think it's a question of whether someone will recover from HIV OCD, but more of a question of how do we handle our OCD symptoms themselves since it's not really about HIV, but about OCD.
feeling of dirtiness and disease, the thoughts that you're life is going to be over and you will die painfully and be shunned because of HIV.
This is the fear, and fear will drive our OCD and our anxiety. Something that helps me is to tell myself that the fear of the actual even is far worse than the actual event itself. Our OCD takes what it sees in the media and all around us about cancer, HIV, and death and runs with it, and for us, shutting our brains off is sometimes hard.
I don't know if my thinking about catching hiv is illogical or irrational or if I should continue to worry.
I think anyone on this board will tell you that obviously thinking that you're going to catch HIV by seeing a red spot or touching something sticky is illogical and irrational, but as we know, OCD isn't logical and it isn't rational. We all know that our OCD is irrational, but obviously we're here because we want to beat our OCD. I could sit here Velvet and tell you everything I know about HIV and HIV transmission, but I bet you already know all of those things, but yet the OCD won't let go. Even if there was no such thing as HIV, we would still worry about some other kind of disease. Lets call it PIV. If PIV was real, we'd worry about that too. So again, it's not about HIV, it's about OCD.
I don't know if you're in therapy, but I would recommend seeing a CBT and starting some exposure therapy. Exposure therapy works for alot of people, and I've done it myself and it really does help cut down on intrusive thoughts and obsessive worries. Let us know how you're doing.:D
I don't think it's a question of whether someone will recover from HIV OCD, but more of a question of how do we handle our OCD symptoms themselves since it's not really about HIV, but about OCD.
feeling of dirtiness and disease, the thoughts that you're life is going to be over and you will die painfully and be shunned because of HIV.
This is the fear, and fear will drive our OCD and our anxiety. Something that helps me is to tell myself that the fear of the actual even is far worse than the actual event itself. Our OCD takes what it sees in the media and all around us about cancer, HIV, and death and runs with it, and for us, shutting our brains off is sometimes hard.
I don't know if my thinking about catching hiv is illogical or irrational or if I should continue to worry.
I think anyone on this board will tell you that obviously thinking that you're going to catch HIV by seeing a red spot or touching something sticky is illogical and irrational, but as we know, OCD isn't logical and it isn't rational. We all know that our OCD is irrational, but obviously we're here because we want to beat our OCD. I could sit here Velvet and tell you everything I know about HIV and HIV transmission, but I bet you already know all of those things, but yet the OCD won't let go. Even if there was no such thing as HIV, we would still worry about some other kind of disease. Lets call it PIV. If PIV was real, we'd worry about that too. So again, it's not about HIV, it's about OCD.
I don't know if you're in therapy, but I would recommend seeing a CBT and starting some exposure therapy. Exposure therapy works for alot of people, and I've done it myself and it really does help cut down on intrusive thoughts and obsessive worries. Let us know how you're doing.:D