allhonest
12-27-2007, 08:22 AM
I have been into psychoanalysis and psycho dynamic therapy. My therapist discussed my obsessions together with me and helped me find "hidden" causes and also emotional "solutions" to my obsessions. My therapist rationalized with my obsessions and this went on for 3 years. Because of the therapist's participation in all my intense rumination, the obsessions and rumination has gotten far worse. The obsessions are really loud and my hands start to sweat and my pulse goes up. This again leads to an ever-increasing need to ruminate and rationalize (OCD sufferers are often quite intelligent and have a great reasoning capability). For example, I have almost only talked about a "merry Christmas" text message I sent to my ex, for the past 5 days, because I find the idea that I sent it very distressing and disturbing. But it is a trivial and nice thing to do right?
Over the years, going to this psycho dynamic therapist to discuss my obsessions became a compulsion because I would get relief every time I went to see him and talk about my obessions. Because of this I have stopped seeing him. Only problem now is that I have to analyze and confess my thoughts to friends and family and they seem to get very annoyed with me. I can't blame them for being tired of all my confession and analyzing together with them. It just gets more and more intense. Even at work I confess things that I shouldn't. They tell me that I go intensely deep in all my thinking but in reality this is something i have been encouraged to do by the therapist. I have been encouraged to gain insight and to go deep to find hidden "solutions" to my upsetting ideas. Now I realize that this search for insight and deep meanings in reality has become an unnecessary compulsion because the obsessions are about trivial issues. I now use my family and close friends as psycho dynamic therapists. I am trying to get the answer / solution from them, just like I did every time I went to see the psycho dynamic therapist.
I feel really really caught in the loop and I am really scared about how things will go from now on. I am a resource person, having a master's degree and am also a flight instructor. But with the compulsion I currently have, I alienate the people I care most about.
Over the years, going to this psycho dynamic therapist to discuss my obsessions became a compulsion because I would get relief every time I went to see him and talk about my obessions. Because of this I have stopped seeing him. Only problem now is that I have to analyze and confess my thoughts to friends and family and they seem to get very annoyed with me. I can't blame them for being tired of all my confession and analyzing together with them. It just gets more and more intense. Even at work I confess things that I shouldn't. They tell me that I go intensely deep in all my thinking but in reality this is something i have been encouraged to do by the therapist. I have been encouraged to gain insight and to go deep to find hidden "solutions" to my upsetting ideas. Now I realize that this search for insight and deep meanings in reality has become an unnecessary compulsion because the obsessions are about trivial issues. I now use my family and close friends as psycho dynamic therapists. I am trying to get the answer / solution from them, just like I did every time I went to see the psycho dynamic therapist.
I feel really really caught in the loop and I am really scared about how things will go from now on. I am a resource person, having a master's degree and am also a flight instructor. But with the compulsion I currently have, I alienate the people I care most about.
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BadMalibu
12-27-2007, 01:24 PM
All-
Well, in response to your question of what you should do, I would find a cognitive behavioral therapist in your area and schedule an appointment with them to inquire about therapy. Some questions you want to ask of any therapist that treats OCD are: 1. What methods do you employ to treat OCD? 2. How long have you been treating OCD? 3. Are you a member of the Association for Cognitive Behavioral Specialists?
You said numerous times in your post that you've never been diagnosed with OCD, but from the constant ruminations you have and compulsion to confess, it defintely sounds like you have OCD. The good news is OCD is very treatable using CBT in conjunction with a mild dose of medication, usually some type of SSRI.
I'm not sure how things work in Scandanavia, but if you need to find a therapist, you can check out the OC Foundations website, as they have listings of therapists in certain areas.
Let us know how you're doing.:D
Well, in response to your question of what you should do, I would find a cognitive behavioral therapist in your area and schedule an appointment with them to inquire about therapy. Some questions you want to ask of any therapist that treats OCD are: 1. What methods do you employ to treat OCD? 2. How long have you been treating OCD? 3. Are you a member of the Association for Cognitive Behavioral Specialists?
You said numerous times in your post that you've never been diagnosed with OCD, but from the constant ruminations you have and compulsion to confess, it defintely sounds like you have OCD. The good news is OCD is very treatable using CBT in conjunction with a mild dose of medication, usually some type of SSRI.
I'm not sure how things work in Scandanavia, but if you need to find a therapist, you can check out the OC Foundations website, as they have listings of therapists in certain areas.
Let us know how you're doing.:D