My cousin has been diagnoised with terminal cancer. Hes in his mid 30s. The family and the doctors have decided not to tell him his prognosis, as they feel he will just 'give up'. He has a wife and two young children.

The question I keep asking myself is that maybe there are things he would like to do or say, and may not have the time to do such things. At the minute hes quite well considering, but the doctors have given him about 12 months - 18 at the maximum. I just feel that the doctors and my family are trying to 'play god' and make decisions on his behalf. Obvioulsy there is going to come a time when he will know whats going on - will he feel resentful that nobody told him?

I just cant get my head round this, what is the right thing to do in this case?
Any advise would be greatly appreciated

if this is in the US, there is a real problem with somebody other than the patient knowing this info and the patient not knowing. HIPAA laws can be bypassed with consent but unless there was such consent, the doc should be disclosing this info only to the patient.

but, of course this guy deserves to know. My mom was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. Given 8 months to a year. She died about 4 weeks later.

The patient deserves the respect of being told and deciding what they want to do with their time left. You never know, this could spur them into a study/ trials somewhere that ends up benefitting them but regardless, they deserve to know.

I cannot beleive that the Dr. hasn't told the patient. is there some reason that the family knows and he doesn't? I agree with gooby. With HIPPA laws he should be the only one that knows his results unless he choses to let his family know. I could see major legal issues arising from this if anything were to happen.

Who knows what you would do if YOU were given the prognosis of only 12 months left to live. What was it that Toby Keith sings? Live like you were dying... Your cousin deserves that respect also.

how does an adult of 30 years old not know his prognosis?
didn't he ask the doctor?
Why did the doctor think it was ok to bypass him and tell his relatives?
that's not right, and he deserves to know......
maybe he would like to get a 2nd opinion......maybe it's not as terminal as this doctor suggests? Keeping this information from him is a crime, IMO
:angel:

We are in the uk where its quite common for the doctors to see patients relatives without the patient being present - stinks doesnt it. the main problem is that im not really close enough to make the decision to tell him, thats down to his wife/parents and they have taken this decision not to tell him. Im not aware of any law in the uk that can enforce them to tell him, but i think its a basic human right for him to know, and im truly frustrated by it all.
He knows he has cancer, and the time is gonna come soon when he starts to ask questions about his treatment and so on, we will see if someone has the decencey then to tell him. At the minute hes in denial at having the cancer(s).

Thanks for your replies

please urge his family to discuss this with him......
he may have options that aren't being explored.......
options that MAY save his life.
:angel:

please urge his family to discuss this with him......
he may have options that aren't being explored.......
options that MAY save his life.
:angel:

He has had some of the tumors removed (the cancer started in his testicles, spread to his stomach), but has now got secondary on his spinal cord, which the docs have said they cant/wont attempt to remove, chemo/radiotherapy have done nothing in the way of shrinkage. I do believe that every avenue has been explored, so i have been told.

At the moment he is living life to the full (maybe he does know whats going on), its not a case of 'the family' giving up all hope, hes has recieved some of the best medical treatment.

Im going to try and broach the subject with his parents, but as you can understand its very difficult, as at the moment everyone seems to be in denial. Its a very difficult situation.
Thanks again to you all for your comments.