Hi,
My daughter has been a poor eater from the start though thre have been these tiny phases when she would eat well and most of the time she won't. It is impossible to force feed her.
Anyways there is this new phase where she wants to feed herself and she won't take a spoonful from me. She wants to hold the spoon and grab the food with it and eat herself.
Unfortunately she doesn't hold the spoon right, and most of the food is lost by the time it gets to her mouth. She doesn't like me trying to guide her hand with the spoon and all and she gets mad if I try to gently guide her.
She is stubborn child. Any tips on how to help the situation.
Thanks

How about some finger foods that she can grab with her fists, like plain cooked beans or pasta, or little cubes of bread or tofu or something?

It's a good thing that she wants to try and feed herself. Of course she is not going to know how to hold the spoon right and not make a mess. That is all part of learning.

I suggest a couple of things:

1) Finger foods. You can cut up small pieces of just about anything and let her try to do it herself. My daughter loved this! It made her a lot better of an eater.

2) The other thing I did was just give her the spoon and let her make a mess. She is 18 months now, but at that age she just put down the spoon and used her fingers to pick up the yogurt or apple sauce or whatever. She was a mess when she was done, but she loved it!

As the mother we always want to help, but sometimes we just have to let them go. She is showing inititave to do things for herself. That is a great step. Maybe this will carry over into dressing herself or potty training. Wouldn't that be great? I think the worst thing you could do is deny her the opportunity to do things for herself if she is showing the interest.

my second is the same way.... very independent, and a royal pain in the butt as a result!!! she makes me crazy.... when she discovered she could use her spoon (thanks to her DAD - i was trying to avoid it for several more months!), she was probably around 13 months too and it was just as you described.... she didn't want to let me help her or do it for her and yeah, as a result most food went everywhere but the floor....

the way i see it, there are two choices here.... let her do it herself and she learns that she can throw a fit and be stubborn and get her own way.... OR you can simply tell her that mommy feeds her or she doesn't eat.... that way she learns that MOMMY is in charge, not her!

so i made something i KNEW she would want to eat, i had the spoon and tried to give her a bite, and she flat refused, tried to swat the spoon away, threw a fit.... so i took her food and put it in the middle of the table and said "mommy do it, or no eat eat." we went through this several times during the meal, and as long as she refused to let me feed her, she didn't eat. she finally relented and let me feed her (we were having mexican night) and when i was done, i let her eat a tortilla and pinto beans by herself. since then, she's let me feed her. i think she just had to KNOW that i meant what i said. she is two now and she doesn't have any problems feeding herself (no more than your average two year old), and when i need to, she lets me feed her without any problem.

as far as your daughter being a poor eater, do you mean that she is picky? my second was really picky at first (like she'd only eat mexican food), but i kept offering her things she didn't like over and over again and now she'll eat almost anything. :)

My daughter is now 21 months and still picky at time. She will eat and then go through a phase where she won't eat much. She was also the same way around 13 months, it is normal. Never force the issue, she won't starve. Let her feed herself if that is what she want to do. I fedd my daughter until 15-16 months which was nice because she was never messy, then at that age she was able to hold spoon and feed herself and not make much of a mess.

gerber makes rubber spoons for 12months and older. they are really really deep but since they are rubbery(soft) they go into their mouths easily. the pack i bought there is a hot pink spoon and a lime green one(i think thats the only colors they come). anyways i got them from walmart. they are great for them to feed themselves!

Are you spoon feeding your daughter everything or just certain foods?
My 14 month old son is a great eater and he is still using his hands. Toward the end of his meals, I will hand him a spoon or fork for him to practice with. He basically eats real people food - tonight he had chicken nuggets, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, with fresh fruit. For lunch it was meatballs with some sauce and cooked carrots. Are you feeding your daughter regular table food?

Hi,
Actually I am offering SO many different foods..
Yes mostly table food. We only eat chicken in the meat group. I offer her differnt kinds of vege/cheese (very tasty) nuggets home made and the "Morning Star" ones, Big slices of fruit, soft cheese wedges, whole bananas etc.
She eats the Big chunky fruit pieces, bites the bananas, bits the cheese and eats it.
I am realizing she wants to eat only foods that she can bte (I think she just got her 4 upper teeth big enough to do that) so she only wants to eat foods where she uses them.. (SO strange).
So I am giving her foods like that but I run out of many options and sometimes I need to give her some foods with a spoon so she can have a balanced meal and all the food classes into her. She is way too picky and still wants her bottle alot.

I wouldn't worry about spoon feeding either. I don't believe forcing her to do it is good at all. She's learning to be independent and that's what it's all about. It sounds like you're doing great! I swear my kids only ate grapes and cheese for the longest time while they were at that stage. All three of my children were off baby food and spoon feeding before their first birthday because they wanted to feed themselves. Fine by me, because I really didn't enjoy that part of babyhood.

If you're really worried about her missing something, why not give her a multi-vitamin until she is able to eat more?

My son is 20 months old and he uses utensils somewhat, but he usually just puts it aside and resorts to the fingers.