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It's just now I see why people just die all alone... And when I read about these daughters/sons who are just so busy. Once a week call, what is so hard about that.

That is something I've been thinking about lately... I have a fear, not so much of dying, but of dying alone in my house and lying there for days or even weeks before anyone notices anything is wrong. After I retire, I see that as a very real possibility.

Oh-uh... when I posted, I didn't realize how old this thread is. Leave it to me to walk into an abandoned house, assuming the owner was in! lol

:wave:
It's not an empty house!
Glad to meet ya.
It's a couple years since I posted above but as you all know ageing keeps on ageing. :)

So I am, now 60, and I never did do the minor foot surgery I was considering.
Found a "home remedy" that takes away the pain. Won't solve my actual problem but hey the whole idea was get rid of the pain and that it does nicely so far.
Since posting above osteoarthritis and osteoporosis, both, have hit my skeleton big time and has seriously put dampers on what I can accomplish. Seems to to take me twice as long to do half as much.
~sigh~ and so it goes.

I'm trading in the "what do I do now" questions for "This is what to do" ideas.

I think the name of the game is continued independance and being aware of safety to avoid accidents that might break bones.

I'm a very very stay at home person with very little company.

My neighbor and I have exchanged keys so either can get into the others apt in an emergency.

All the downstairs neighbors here in my apt complex watch each other (it's like living in a fishbowl) At first I didn't like that. I thought they were all so very nosy! But in truth they are simply trying to be watchful and take care of each other, since most are over 50 and some are actully getting near 90.

I have installed a hand held shower, bath grab bar and obtained a bath bench which I use on bad days for safty's sake. I don't need to use them on good days, just bad ones.
I'm in the process of reorganizing heavier items to lower shelf / storage areas so only light weight things are on top shelves. Light weight things that can be reached with a grabber.
I use a rolling grocery cart to bring in my groceries.
The majority of my outdoor container plants are now silk rather than real so I can maintain my container garden better and still have it look nice in the season.

I have plenty of neighbors older than I am and I pay attention to any of thier good ideas.

My elderly mother is now over 80 and she lives alone in an upstairs apt. in another city ten miles west of me.
Rather amazing since she cannot stand or walk at all without a walker.
She uses canes and the railing to drag herself up or down the stairs.
She rarely goes down them anyway.. sort of has caged herself up there.
Her STAIRS gotta go!
I have to drag all her groceries up and it's painful.
I have been saying that for years but she never listens to me or my brothers or her grandchildren.
Finally last January she agreed the stairs are dangerous.
I have had her on the waiting list to move to a downstairs apt for exactly one year this week! She has progressed up the list and now she is exactly number one waiting for a ground floor apt in the apt complex where I live
So we all hope she can obtain one soon. Of course none of those apts are not empty right now.. but the next person who moves out.. Mom gets to move in.

My mother has caused herself (and her older children like me) much pain by not agreeing to move down from those stairs years earlier. She can't handel change very well and I simply want to avoid becoming that way.

Last week there was one apt and landlord said she could have it if she could get in with her walker.
My brother brought her here and she tried but there were 2 outddoor sidewalk steps close together and no place to navigate the walker. The grass was too sloped for her to go around those steps with the walker so we had to turn down that apt.
But my landlord was very understanding. Mom stays top of the list and we wait some more.

Last night on the phone she hinted in one tiny quick sentence that she may choose a nurseing home rather than an apatment when the time comes. I told her when the landlord calls with a flat entrance apartment for her she has to KNOW if she wants it or not. It's up to her, her mind is fine, she CAN make her own decisions but she sure takes forever making them!

When and IF she does move the first thing will be to get her a wheelchair. She can't use one in the apt she is in now but she is very aware she needs one now.

I have promised myself NOT to allow myself to become so obstanant and resistant to change as I get older. I want to able to promise myself to stay open minded to helpful ideas.
I grabbed aground floor apt 7 years ago when my leg got bad. I fully intend to NEVER move into an upstairs again.

These things need planned!

I'll be 60 next month and it is getting to me sheesh! I have osteoporosis since I was in my 40's as well as arthritis in the spine and feet, now high blood pressure which is a totally new thing for me thanks to my looney tunes daughter(well she is bipolar but makes me crazy)I should be thankful I made it this far, at 20 I thought people in their 40's already had one foot in the grave. I feel I'm on the down side rolling fast LOL!

Support groups, aging resource centers, home health agencies, and county service agencies may know of a "call a friend" program that is available to people who live alone, no matter what the age. Volunteers in these programs call people (who request the calls) on a regular basis to check on their well being, remind them of meds, or just to talk. Often these programs have no charge...but some may have a small fee.

The United States Post Office had a "Carrier Alert" program at one time, so your local postal carrier would notify authorities if mail wasn't being picked up. You might need to sign up for this, as I no longer remember the details.

Sometimes, people like myself, just get an informal group together in the neighborhood who notice

Hope this is some help.

Bethsheba

It stinks being alone,I wonder how the heck I'm going to do it myself,my husband been the only support I had,we don't have many years left,and I don't get along with my daughter,she only looking after what she can get,and her threats to me.I have very little money to survive on,and I hate to be depended on anyone.My back is bad,probably be in a wheelchair.And i worked in nursing homes and its no place to be.

Well here is another old crock peeking into that "abandoned house"...It tickles me when someone's thoughts are so similar to what I have been thinking.
I don't know much about how PBS or Public Broascasting Systems work but here in Fort Wayne IN I came across a very enlightening panel type offering called... Life (part 2)...Saturday at 5:00PM and 5:30 PM in two half hour segments.
The Host is a very personable man called Alan Rosenberg. Today's offering had him interviewing three people there with him...two men and a woman, and also another man via an out of the studio hook-up.
They all were smart,could express their thoughts clearly and had so many good ideas to share...and they were old. I think Rosenburg said he was 55 and he was the youngest. AND the subject was old age, how to plan for it,how to deal with it, and how to get through it gracefully and with joy.
I was impressed.
I don't know why I have missed it up to now, I guess I had been watching something else...but I will watch for it from now on.
One point brought out is how old people are "invisable" and overlooked in times like Katrina and the tragedy of 9-11. Pets were rescued before the elderly, who went for 3 or 4 days uncared for or unremembered totally.
It is the Nation's disgrace, the abandonment of the elderly. I bet the "Greening up of America" will get 100% more attention than the respect and care due for parents and grandparents who expended their lives in caring for their own. Time to wake up and get our priorities straight.