Hi My dd has been sleeping on and off in my bed her whole life, usually starting out in her bed and ending up in mine in the middle of the night. But the last six months or so she hasnt' ev en been in her crib. I found out I was pregnant with baby #4 in August and I have been exhausted ever since. I have been taking the lazy way out and letting her sleep with me and dh. Not only does she sleep with us but she will not go to bed until VERY late. I just do not know what to do. I need to get her in her own bed in her own room but I don't even know where to begin. Its not as if she even goes to sleep easily in my bed at midnight. I end up lying down and saying good night and she cries and tosses and turns for a while. Needless to say this is not so great for my marriage, haha. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. O and she is now 21 months old HELP!!!!

My daughter is the same age. I slept the first year with her on the couch sitting up holding her. I was exhaussted when she was born and that was the only way I could rest at night and feed her too. I also didn't want to disturb my husband because he had to work. When moved across the country and I began to sleep with her in her room on her full size bed. Her bedroom is on a separate floor and I didn't want her by herself, I get paranoid. So that is where I am. At some point I will have to go through this too.

Do you have a routine? I was never really the routine type until recently. My daughter was always pretty good, so I didn't stick to one too much. I started giving her a nap everyday at noon. I pick her up no matter what she is doing and I sit on the couch with her and she fall asleep within 2 minutes, same at bed time. She would be up anywhere until 11PM. I began to pick her up anywhere from 8:30-9:30 PM and she falls asleep. I know you have more children, is is difficult to manage them all? Do they go to bed a decent times? Did your other children sleep with you? I also read that children naturally may leave the bed at 3 years of age to sleep on their own. I am not sure how true that is, and of course it doesn't happen with every child. I hope it does with mine since she seems so independant. Good luck!

I have never been good at routines EVER. It isn't too difficult for me with my oldest two boys because they are so much older, 14 and 9. I don't have to mess around much to get them to bed. I had similar problems with them when they were babies, but none so bad as dd. good luck getting yours asleep alone.

I agree with the routine. Maybe give her a nice warm bath and than when its bedtime take her in her room and while she is laying in the crib read her a bedtime story. I use a lullaybye CD, but being that she is already in the habit the cd might not work. I think the key here is consitancy. Just keep trying every nite. She will evenutally get the hang if it!

Good luck!

Routine is key, but you also need to be strong. My kids were killing me! They would always end up in my bed every night. It took me awhile, but I have finally kicked them of the habit. One thing I could suggest is an actual bed for your lo. I took my kids out of the crib around 18 months. I needed to do this b/c I needed the crib for the next child, but it always seemed to work. This way you can lay in bed with them and read a book and snuggle for a couple minutes before lights out. I never used a toddler bed b/c I thought it was easier and cheaper to go right to the twin. With rails on the side they never fell out. My kids ( they are a bit older (infant, 1.5 , 3.5 and 4.5) ) Learned that they could not come into our bed until the sun was up. If they wanted to come in to my room, they had to sleep on the floor. After awhile, they got tired of the floor and stayed in their own beds. Good luck. It's a hard habit to kick, especially when you are so tired, you're seeing double!

my first thoughts when i read your post were that you ought to try a baby gate, and a monitor, and then start putting your daughter down to bed between 7-7:30. the reason she won't go to sleep until midnight is most likely because she is getting too tired and her adrenaline is pumping and she can't get herself settled (hence the whining and fussing). definitely follow a routine with a bath, lotion, jammies, warm milk (my kid is two and she still drinks a milk bottle at night), read a story, brush teeth, say prayers, put her in bed. you might sit by her bed for a few minutes and rub her head, or hold her hand and hum softly while she settles down.... but before she is asleep, you need to leave the room. tell her goodnight, tell her if she has an emergency she can call you on the monitor, and tell her you'll come back and check on her in a little while, but that she shouldn't wait for you, just go to sleep. then leave the room.

it will be hard at first, but if you are consistent and do NOT bring her back into your bed, it might take a week (that's in extreme cases, or cases where the parents won't be consistent), but she'll settle down and get used to her own bed. most kids know where their parents breaking points are and they'll push and push until either their parents break, or they finally understand that mom and dad are not giving in! i guarantee it will be harder on YOU than it is on her (we mommies tend to feel guilty even when we know we're really helping our babies in the end!).

last thing.... make sure she isn't cutting her back molars.... if she is, add teething tablets and ibuprofen to the nighttime routine! :)