allhonest
01-07-2008, 04:00 PM
Since Christmas I have had this extremely anxiety provoking obsession that involves a question whether or not I should have sent an ex a merry Christmas message and what implications that might have in my life.
Rationally, it is just nothing. But it feels like my life depends on it and I have ruminated for hours and days about it and sometimes it feels like the world might end because I sent the SMS. Ridiculous right?
Yesterday I was late for a meeting at work, and rationally that is a bad thing of course. But I FELT nothing about it. It didn't upset me at all emotionally.
So my question is this:
If I can get so upset by the thought that I sent an ex a Merry Christmas message, and not getting upset with myself when I was late for work, does that say something about me as a person or is this just OCD.
And here I go analyzing again. Wish it could stop.
Rationally, it is just nothing. But it feels like my life depends on it and I have ruminated for hours and days about it and sometimes it feels like the world might end because I sent the SMS. Ridiculous right?
Yesterday I was late for a meeting at work, and rationally that is a bad thing of course. But I FELT nothing about it. It didn't upset me at all emotionally.
So my question is this:
If I can get so upset by the thought that I sent an ex a Merry Christmas message, and not getting upset with myself when I was late for work, does that say something about me as a person or is this just OCD.
And here I go analyzing again. Wish it could stop.
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twiceshy
01-07-2008, 04:08 PM
I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.
allhonest
01-07-2008, 04:48 PM
I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.
You might be right, and it was good to hear that it probably doesn't mean anything deeper about me as a person.
However, I have this idea that because I sent the text message I cannot relate to other people because I have "used up" my social stigma on sending her the message and not getting a positive reply. In some sort of a "magical" way, the fact that I sent the message will have catastrophic consequences for my relationships and my job.
I never got Christmas peace this year because I would ask my family members again and again whether or not it was right to send the message. I had to confess / tell what I was constantly analyzing with regards to the text message, seeking "the answer" that would make it feel right. Because it didn't feel right to send my ex such a pleasant merry Xmas message because she had been really nasty towards me and didn't deserve it. Is this because I have that "something is wrong" feeling? No one in my family could provide me with that answer, althought I talked about it for a week.
I am sad that Christmas went like this because previous years, Christmas has been really peaceful. And I am sad that I bothered my family members so much by it. They got really tired by it.
Is this OCD or what.
You might be right, and it was good to hear that it probably doesn't mean anything deeper about me as a person.
However, I have this idea that because I sent the text message I cannot relate to other people because I have "used up" my social stigma on sending her the message and not getting a positive reply. In some sort of a "magical" way, the fact that I sent the message will have catastrophic consequences for my relationships and my job.
I never got Christmas peace this year because I would ask my family members again and again whether or not it was right to send the message. I had to confess / tell what I was constantly analyzing with regards to the text message, seeking "the answer" that would make it feel right. Because it didn't feel right to send my ex such a pleasant merry Xmas message because she had been really nasty towards me and didn't deserve it. Is this because I have that "something is wrong" feeling? No one in my family could provide me with that answer, althought I talked about it for a week.
I am sad that Christmas went like this because previous years, Christmas has been really peaceful. And I am sad that I bothered my family members so much by it. They got really tired by it.
Is this OCD or what.
twiceshy
01-07-2008, 05:14 PM
Christmas should be a good time for us all, but tends to be stressful, at least for me. As far as whether you have OCD, only a trained professional can know for certain. You may have taxed your family, but that's part of our duty to one another. I'm not sure about the "social stigma" part of your message, maybe you can elaborate?
allhonest
01-08-2008, 11:52 AM
Social stigma is perhaps not the correct word. Social confidence might be the right word. I sort of lost my social confidence from that text message and I am desperate to get it back. Now I call family members 4-6 times a day to make them reassure me that nothing bad will happen because I sent the text message. My brother has become very upset with me now and he even cut me on the phone because he was sick of reassuring me about this seemingly non-issue.
What should I do?
What should I do?
BadMalibu
01-08-2008, 02:13 PM
Now I call family members 4-6 times a day to make them reassure me that nothing bad will happen because I sent the text message.
What should I do?
All-
Confessing and constantly asking for reassurance is a symptom of OCD, as is obsessing over whether or not you should send a text message, and on top of that after you sent it, obsessing whether or not you should have sent it. Your family giving you reassurance only makes the obessions worse, but obviously they might not understand that you have OCD.
In terms of what you should do, first off you're going ot want to visit your local physcian and have some routine blood work done to check your thyroid, liver and kindney function, as any issues with these organs can sometimes exaggerate the symptoms of OCD. After your doc gives you the ok, you're going to want to ask him/her for a referral for a cognivite behavioral specialist, as this is a therapist who specializes in treating OCD and anxiety disorders. A CBT basically re-trains your brain t o think in a different way, and they'll also help you develop strategies to battle back against your OCD.
I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.
OCD isn't about priorities, it's about obsessing over certain issues in your life. I would also say that there shouldn't be "meaning in a possible relationship" because technically this woman is your ex. There was already a relationships there at one point, and this could be causing you more anxiety than you think.:D
What should I do?
All-
Confessing and constantly asking for reassurance is a symptom of OCD, as is obsessing over whether or not you should send a text message, and on top of that after you sent it, obsessing whether or not you should have sent it. Your family giving you reassurance only makes the obessions worse, but obviously they might not understand that you have OCD.
In terms of what you should do, first off you're going ot want to visit your local physcian and have some routine blood work done to check your thyroid, liver and kindney function, as any issues with these organs can sometimes exaggerate the symptoms of OCD. After your doc gives you the ok, you're going to want to ask him/her for a referral for a cognivite behavioral specialist, as this is a therapist who specializes in treating OCD and anxiety disorders. A CBT basically re-trains your brain t o think in a different way, and they'll also help you develop strategies to battle back against your OCD.
I think being more concerned about the Xmas message than the work tardiness reflects your priorities, probably nothing more. I'd say there's more meaning in a possible relationship than in your job.
OCD isn't about priorities, it's about obsessing over certain issues in your life. I would also say that there shouldn't be "meaning in a possible relationship" because technically this woman is your ex. There was already a relationships there at one point, and this could be causing you more anxiety than you think.:D
allhonest
01-09-2008, 04:26 PM
To tell the truth, it hasn't been like this always. Like I said I have a master's degree containing a lot of A's and B's and have also a flight instructor certificate. I can go on for years without any symptoms. However, it hasn't been this bad in 15 years. Does this mean that I might have OCD now (I hope I don't have it), and that I don't have OCD during the good years?
Or is it just something that sits there latent and appear under stressful life circumstances (as happens to be the situation now with my first job after graduating).
Or is it just something that sits there latent and appear under stressful life circumstances (as happens to be the situation now with my first job after graduating).
dksea
01-09-2008, 07:39 PM
To tell the truth, it hasn't been like this always. Like I said I have a master's degree containing a lot of A's and B's and have also a flight instructor certificate. I can go on for years without any symptoms. However, it hasn't been this bad in 15 years. Does this mean that I might have OCD now (I hope I don't have it), and that I don't have OCD during the good years?
Or is it just something that sits there latent and appear under stressful life circumstances (as happens to be the situation now with my first job after graduating).
Stress can definitely exacerbate OCD, it can do the same for a number of conditions actually, both physical and mental. Many women have trouble with OCD when their hormone levels shift as well, i'm sure males do too but our hormone levels tend not to go up and down as much. My OCD tends to subside pretty well for years at a time (although i am on medication for it) and sometimse i have flare up.
OCD isn't something like the flu where you catch it and then it goes away, its like asthma, you pretty much always have it, even if its asymptomatic.
Or is it just something that sits there latent and appear under stressful life circumstances (as happens to be the situation now with my first job after graduating).
Stress can definitely exacerbate OCD, it can do the same for a number of conditions actually, both physical and mental. Many women have trouble with OCD when their hormone levels shift as well, i'm sure males do too but our hormone levels tend not to go up and down as much. My OCD tends to subside pretty well for years at a time (although i am on medication for it) and sometimse i have flare up.
OCD isn't something like the flu where you catch it and then it goes away, its like asthma, you pretty much always have it, even if its asymptomatic.