I am in my 50's and all I think about is death and when I will die. Is this part of the aging process? I never thought about it much until my parents died. Dad in 1995 and mom in 1998. Now it's all I think about. I work out every day and have for many years. I don't over do it, approx. 30 min a day either doing tae bo or walking. I feel that my heart is used to it by now but now I worry that I may have a heart attack. Is this just needless worry or because I am up in age now.

Also, I suddenly feel my age when I am around women in their 20's and 30's where before I didn't. I guess because I always looked younger than my age.

How do we start accepting all of these changes and not feel like you are at deaths door?

D

I sort of feel the way you do. I am going to be 53 in a couple of months, both my parents are dead and I wonder how many years I have left. My Mom died at 74, so, do I have 20 or so years left?
This bothers me so much. To top things off, my husband has prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. They say he might have 3 years. I am so scared. I always thought we would grow old together.
I think of death everyday. I have no family or close friends, I wonder how things will be in a few years. I try not to think about these things but at times it is so overwhelming.
I know what you mean about feeling older, I still look pretty good, but when I see the younger girls, it does make it harder. I try to eat right and take ok care of myself, I guess we just have to accept it. I never realized how short life really is. Good luck to you.

Hi Ladies,
I think it's just natural as we age and lose loved ones that our own mortality becomes an issue. I have the same thoughts as you do. I've lost both my parents, my husband's parents, and my husband in the past 9 years. In addition, I've also lost a few friends who have passed away and my beloved dog. I keep wondering when my turn will come :confused: We just have to force ourselves to think positive and move forward. We can't live if we spend all our time dwelling on death. :) Hang in there!

Hey there Classact1956 - I'll be turning 46 in February and every year that number gets higher I think more about death too. I start doing the math and think dang! it sure does go pretty fast. My dad died 4 years ago and my mom has a terminal illness too so I am constantly reminded. My son is only 5 and I can't imagine what would happen to him if I left his earth now so that causes me great periods of deep thought about death. I've flipped back and forth on the subject of life after death, but I can't find any happy medium there - I just think "can't do anything about it so why focus on it so much. Anyway, just wanted to say that you're not alone......for a while there I thought I was the only one thinking about it, I was embarrassed to ask my friends who all range mid 40's to high 50's but I finally did and didn't feel so alone in my thoughts as they often think of it too. We can't do anything about it - it's inevitable - but I do know that I tell myself every day that I WON'T go until I'm at least 85!! I think 39 more wonderful years would be fabulous so I try to refocus on that thought!
Life is just so fantastic - I don't want go.......but who really does? Hope you find some solace here and know that you're not alone - we understand ;)

I lost both of my parents within 5 weeks of each other this past fall. I am an only child so I had no one to share this with. I feel like I have lost a generation, and I am now the "elder generation." Three years ago I had major back surgery that failed and I ended up with two major surgeries iwith a week. I have 2 15" titanium rods with 20 screws in my back. My doctor has informed me that I will live with some degree of pain the rest of my life. Lovely, huh? But, I refuse to think that I am not going to be around to enjoy this. AFter watchin my mother die of Alzheimers and my father pass of an abdominal aoritic anuertism, I plan on being around for a good while.

Death is going to come to all of us. There isn't an alternative at the moment near as I can tell. TO dwell on the subject is only going to bring you depression and misery. It isn't easy to turn those thoughts away, but I try my hardest. I'm trying to learn new things, to try to think like I'm in my twenties even though my body insists that it isn't. The more you try to be active and vibrant, the more interested in the world you are, the better it is for you and your brain. Lords knows, the end will come so we might as well know as much as we can.....you know the saying....

Life isn't a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thouroughly used up, totally worn out and yelling "holy crap! what a ride!"

go for it!

Thank you all so much. I felt like I was the only one who felt this way. Longevity is not in my family so that doesn't help either.

To Summerblue, I am so sorry about your husbands cancer. You must be going through hell. I hope that you have some support system in place now as this is way too much for one person to bare. If you need anyone to talk too, I am here.

D

clasact1956, Thanks so much for your thoughts. I haven't been around, I have been sick with the worse cold.

I really don't have a support system at this time, I have no family I am close to and I really have no friends that I see or talk with much. I am going about my life one day at a time and I pray alot, that is all I can do really. I try not to think too much about it, but it is always there on my mind. I thank you for your offer to talk with me, it does mean alot to me. summerblue :)

I really don't have a support system at this time, I have no family I am close to and I really have no friends that I see or talk with much. I am going about my life one day at a time and I pray alot, that is all I can do really.

often people start going through an early grieving process when a loved one has been given a negative prognosis. It's important that you realize that you do have a support system, and it's within yourself. If you are praying then you are do have Faith, and Faith is the absence of fear. By building your Faith you will reduce your fear. It is very hard to do, and especially in such a tough time as this, but I believe that if you hand this over to God there will be healings in your life.

I have experienced healing from life threatening circumstances, and after all of my promises to God I backslid and took him for granted. Here I am again with more afflictions, but I have been so broken from them that the only way for me to come out of it is to become a new person. I think that you have an opportunity in front of you, and I hope that you will take advantage of it.

What is living, the day to day routine we all suffer through to get to a weekend or holiday or event? Every day should be eventful and memorable and God wants your Faith and attention on every kind of day. After all ,he has given you this day, and he has also granted you a tomorrow, and that is more than many people have.

seek and you will find ! :angel:

Hi summerblue if I can help,wanna chat I'm here too,you sound alot like me.

Well, I will be 52 this year. Dying is not on my list of things to think about. Rather, I think about living, and going about the business of living with more deliberation rather than just 'being'. Life is worth the living; as for me, I needed to slow down and enjoy the ride (as it were) rather than rush from place to place and project to project. 50 may be old, but it can also be mature, accomplished, and experienced. It depends on your outlook. Rather than worrying oneself to death, literally, enjoy life while you have it.

My wife also is recovering from cancer. It is not/has not been an easy road. But that is part of life. Things don't always go sweetly. So, it is my job to take care of her and encourage her as best I can. Fortunately, she is doing very well now, and she is doing a good job of encouraging me as I go through my own medical difficulties. Sure there are the times of crying, of wondering, of even despondence and despair. I wouldn't want to live there, though, so I do what I can to help. Things can get better; they may get worse. Regardless, there are times of enjoyment, of beauty, of outright wonderfulness. Live for those moments. :)

Hi to Everyone (this is my first post :wave:).

I'm 65 and so I can relate to this topic. Thinking about death is just natural, if you look at it as just looking ahead. And, it's not the end, but a joyous new beginning.

I retired five years ago due to physical problems and went through a long series of feelings of worthlessness. As one of the previous poster wrote, faith in God can bring you through all of your doubts and fears. I prayed and prayed and prayed. When I realized that I was still trying to direct/control my own life instead of letting God's providence lead me, my whole life turned around. Now finally I've learned to put all my trust in Him ... and I couldn't be happier.

So my advice (poor and simple though it may be) is to keep as active as you can. Volunteer somewhere to keep up your social contacts. Try and look forward to death in a positive way. Pray and let God give you what you need in your life. Let Him be in control.

Anyway ... it's good that there is such a forum as this. I'm so glad I found y'all :).

I always think of what Woody Allen once said, "I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens!" :D