sam76
01-16-2008, 03:05 AM
I have a date this week with a guy I've been interested in for about four months. We've been back and forth innocently flirting for just as long, so I'm pretty excited. But I won't lie - having HPV makes me nervous if/when I have to tell him... if it ever gets to that point. That's definitely something I don't feel obligated to share right away... because it's obviously easier if you get to know the person first and find a good time to tell them before it escalates to sexual connotations. I would never ever withold that information about myself - just not sure how to bring it up.
I've been on here trying to give other people advice with what I know about HPV because, well, I like to share the information I've gathered with others who are now in the position I was in five months ago - however, I've never had to tell any potential partners about this. So I'm a little worried.
Can anyone share with me their experiences having to inform their partners? How did you approach the subject matter and what were the reactions? Good and bad stories welcome.
I've been on here trying to give other people advice with what I know about HPV because, well, I like to share the information I've gathered with others who are now in the position I was in five months ago - however, I've never had to tell any potential partners about this. So I'm a little worried.
Can anyone share with me their experiences having to inform their partners? How did you approach the subject matter and what were the reactions? Good and bad stories welcome.
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SDH
01-17-2008, 04:34 AM
I only informed 1 person, my girlfriend which of whom I just dumped last night. It sucked, she cried and everything, she thought she might get cancer or something. But now I got to tell this other girl, she's 24, she's got a 4 year old kid, and she hasnt returned my phone calls since the two days after we slept together. The worst part, I went to get a STD test after we slept together, so I didn't know I was infected. I'm scared to tell her, but I don't know how I can when she doesn't answer the phone, or call me back like she says she will. I hope you the best of luck with your situation. Tell him it's not as bad as it seems, it's only telling the truth if you think about it. It's true a lot of people carry the virus, he may already be infected for all he knows. Just bring some fact sheets with you in your purse or something, so he has a better understanding, and doesn't think your sugar-coating. Good-luck.
rachel88
01-17-2008, 12:34 PM
thats just how I feel, I just found out that I had hpv and I haven't told anyone. I had to of gotten it from my ex boyfriend who I'm no longer speaking with but i feel like I cant even date anyone.. I guess I'm still really upset about it and haven't really found a way i can get passed it I dont really have that much information on it but from what I do know.. its something i will have forever and that scares me so much! Also i was wondering does it cause cramps? cuz I have cramps all of time and bad ones too I was just wondering?
rosequartz
01-17-2008, 12:36 PM
I wouldn't inform anyone.......
it's not that big of a deal, most people have it and don't even realize it.
it's not that big of a deal, most people have it and don't even realize it.
sam76
01-17-2008, 12:40 PM
Yeah I read your post... I'm sorry it came to that. I hope she gets some peace of mind because although HPV is highly contagious, it doesn't mean she has it. She shouldn't be freaking out so badly until she goes to the doctor and has a check-up. Have you told this other girl in a voicemail that it's important she return your call because you really need to talk to her? If so and she doesn't get back to you, what are you supposed to do, really? It takes two to be responsible. It sounds like you're being noble about it and doing your part.
Yeah, it's kind of funny actually because I was on the bus at the university today and I noticed a copy of our school paper sitting behind me. It had a front-page article about HPV in it, so I read it and kept the copy to put with the rest of my information. Having this stuff on hand definitely comes in handy for people when you have to talk to them about it... and I suppose it looks like you're well prepared when you have to break the news, so to speak.
Thanks for your reply. Good luck to you, too.
Yeah, it's kind of funny actually because I was on the bus at the university today and I noticed a copy of our school paper sitting behind me. It had a front-page article about HPV in it, so I read it and kept the copy to put with the rest of my information. Having this stuff on hand definitely comes in handy for people when you have to talk to them about it... and I suppose it looks like you're well prepared when you have to break the news, so to speak.
Thanks for your reply. Good luck to you, too.
sam76
01-17-2008, 12:46 PM
I wouldn't inform anyone.......
it's not that big of a deal, most people have it and don't even realize it.
I realize that it's not really a big deal, but it's absolutely irresponsible to withold something like that and I would never do that to someone. It might be different if I had been diagnosed with it say, two years ago, and hadn't seen a trace of it since then, because I've been informed that that is usually a give away that it's gone. But it's only been about five months and I don't want to risk it. Everyone deserves the choice of whether or not they want to risk becoming infected with this. Just because it's common it doesn't mean people shouldn't know. The only way to hopefully eradicate this, other than the vaccine and hopefully one day a cure, is by being informed and informing partners so that it doesn't keep spreading.
it's not that big of a deal, most people have it and don't even realize it.
I realize that it's not really a big deal, but it's absolutely irresponsible to withold something like that and I would never do that to someone. It might be different if I had been diagnosed with it say, two years ago, and hadn't seen a trace of it since then, because I've been informed that that is usually a give away that it's gone. But it's only been about five months and I don't want to risk it. Everyone deserves the choice of whether or not they want to risk becoming infected with this. Just because it's common it doesn't mean people shouldn't know. The only way to hopefully eradicate this, other than the vaccine and hopefully one day a cure, is by being informed and informing partners so that it doesn't keep spreading.
sam76
01-17-2008, 12:53 PM
...Also i was wondering does it cause cramps? cuz I have cramps all of time and bad ones too I was just wondering?
If it's warts, then cramps shouldn't be associated with it because warts are generally harmless. The only pain you'd experience is probably with sex because they can tear, if they're inside the vagina.
If you found out that you have dysplasia, it also shouldn't be painful. I think the only time HPV would cause pain is if it progressed to cancer... which is very unlikely if you get your regular paps. Other than that, I've never heard of HPV being painful.
And I wouldn't be scaring yourself over this. The hardest part of having HPV is the stigmas associated with it, and having to tell people you have it. But most of my girlfriends have/have had it and they've all gone on to date and have relationships. Just be honest and you'll surprise yourself how easy your life ends up being with it.
If it's warts, then cramps shouldn't be associated with it because warts are generally harmless. The only pain you'd experience is probably with sex because they can tear, if they're inside the vagina.
If you found out that you have dysplasia, it also shouldn't be painful. I think the only time HPV would cause pain is if it progressed to cancer... which is very unlikely if you get your regular paps. Other than that, I've never heard of HPV being painful.
And I wouldn't be scaring yourself over this. The hardest part of having HPV is the stigmas associated with it, and having to tell people you have it. But most of my girlfriends have/have had it and they've all gone on to date and have relationships. Just be honest and you'll surprise yourself how easy your life ends up being with it.
rachel88
01-17-2008, 01:59 PM
Well I know I have hpv I'm just not sure what kind... I'm going to the doctors today to get that thing (I forget whats its called but they go and put vinager and see if it has gone to cancer or something like that?) but I got a pap test for the first time in a couple years a couple months ago and thats what I'm worried about because I have pains so bad all the time... but I'm hoping that It hasn't spread to cancer or something. The doctors all say different things so I dont know whats going on with it... I dont think its warts cuz they told me that what I have cant be seen at all with the naked eye so I'm not sure.. But thanks so much for the info!
SDH
01-17-2008, 07:44 PM
In some states, like New Hampshire, it's required by law to tell your recent partners. I live in Florida right now, so I don't legally have to, but I'm a nice person and it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't tell your ex boyfriend though, he probably gave it to you, and most likely if your not talking, your on bad terms with him. Telling him you have HPV would probably give him motive to talk bad about you and make your life hell.
rachel88
01-21-2008, 02:13 PM
Do u know about colorado?