Has anyone had experience with this?

Here's my situation: I have pcos, since starting metformin I have regular cycles but don't ovulate. But main reason I'm looking into this is because my husband is a heart transplant recipient. There is a history of serious heart issues in the males in the his family. I'm talking about serious heart failure that is deadly. I'm not trying to "play God" and would be happy to have either a boy or girl, but I want to avoid having to deal with these health issues in my baby.
I had been looking into PDG which may still be an option but from what I understand, all males would need to have the exact same condition so that a common "bad gene" can be determined. I don't know that this is possible, so choosing to just have a girl would be the easiest way to ensure we don't deal with these issues that only affect males in the family.

I'm really wanting to hear from people who had done this or people who have more information on it either PDG or IVF and chosen the sex of their child. How difficult would it be to have your insurance company approve this?

I was just in this situation after a test result came back for us. We have not started IVF yet, will in Feb/Mar, but DH is a carrier for Fragile X, which means that if we have a girl she will be a carrier and that means that if she has a child it will be mentally challanged. If we have a boy the fragile X gene dies and we will never have to worry about it in our line of family. We choose NOT to choose only because it was not a life threatening issue for our immedate child, but it will leave her with a decision, BUT in 20 years there could be so many opts for her when it comes to TTC. The only problems with us having a girl is she has a 40% chance of having POF, which again, in 20 years there may be so many other options in TTC as we all well know now how far IF has come in the last 20 years.

So, as my situation is not a life threatening issue like yours, we opted not to choose. We've been at this for 7 years, I'll take what god sex god gives me.

What kind of heart disease is prominate in males versus females and can it be kept udner control by meds or lifestyle changes? There are SO-O-O many factors to weight in when making this decision. I wish you the best, because it is not an easy one.

Thank you for your reply, so you already did all the testing? How did you find a clinic for that? Or did you go through a reproductive endo? How much did it cost for the testing or did your insurance cover it?

Sorry this is a question to your question. Can you really choose the sex of your baby with IVF? Is it an extra process and/or fee? I have to do IVF and I just want a healthy baby and will be happy with either a boy or girl. I just thought I would ask about this out of curiosity.
Thanks and good luck to you!

bec, yes we already had all the testing done before we ever even thought about maybe having to make a decision. Because it was along the lines of medical the ins compnay paid for it. I know that it is very expensive otherwise because the testing is only done in CA, so I am thankfull that we didnt have to pay for it.

mrs...yes you can choose the sex during IVF. I dont knwo much detail about how they do it or the cost since we opted not to do so. I do know that it is an extra cost.

Hope this answers you questions.

Thank you..... I have had a few people ask me if I knew anything about this. It is good to know for someone who may have a medical issue with males vs. females. My sister and her husband ave a factor that caused them to lose 2 boys and the son they did have is autistic but, wonderful! They had 3 healthy girls. Not positive but, I believe it is the RH factor.
Again thanks for that information..... good luck to you all!!!!

Hi, sorry I haven't been on in a while so I just saw these posts. Thank you for your replies, since this is a medical issue, I really hope we can get in approved by the insurance. We certainly don't have access to thousands of dollars to do this. So would a reproductive endocrinologist be the one to do the IVF and testing? I'm trying to figure out what our first step should be, what sort of doctor to see in regards to this?

Hi Bec,

If you plan to proceed with IVF, than you will need to see an RE about that process. Since you have a genetic medical issue, you may be adivised to speak to a genetics counselor as well. I haven't been through this but my friend has, due to having 9 m/c's. And you may want to read up on PGD, which tests the eggs for some genetic conditions before they are transferred back into you. Some conditions can be found out at this stage, others cannot, and if your situation can be screened for, then maybe it won't matter what sex your baby is. Hope this helps.

Christin

Bec,

Welcome to the boards. I believe you may be able to start with a OB/GYN since you do not have IF issues, they may be able to point you in the direction of a good genetics counselor. They should be able to advise you on what your options are. Otherwise, you may elect to go straight to a Reproductive Endocronologist (I am not sure if all of them do gender selection IVF so you may have to specifically inquire about that). As far as your question on who performs the IVF, yes, it would be the RE.

What a tremendous decision you are facing and I am so sorry for this challenge in your life. My DH's father actually carries an inverted Y chromozone and his parents suffered excessive miscarriages after having DH but did eventually have his sister. Also his uncle did have one perfectly healthy girl but they also suffered a late term m/c due to the fetus having severe abnormalities (or maybe it died days after birth). Nonetheless, my DH was tested and he does not carry that gene. Thankfully, but it is always in the back of my mind.

I am worried about insurance covering it because they may not view your having a baby medically necessary even though the means of having a healthy baby would be medically necessary. Does that make sense? and please do not be offended by that comment. I just know that insurance companies do not seem especially eager to cover any fertility issues. And that is extremely frustrating to all of us here!!!

Lots of luck to whatever you decide.

Another option for you would be to use donor sperm and proceed with IUI. that is a cheaper option if you do not have IVF coverage, but then you would not have your DH's biological child. Gosh, I am so sorry that you have to go through this and please do not be offended by anything that I have said. I just wish you lots of luck and please let us know what you find out/decide.

:angel::angel::angel:

hopeful - Im absolutely not offended, these are all things I have been thinking about. I want to have my husbands child, no question. And the health insurance issue is a big one, I know they'll do anything to get out of covering fertility treatments. I'm trying to figure out the best way to attack this. I do have PCOS and have had to see and reproductive endo in the past for ultrasounds etc. so my possible infertility could actually be on my side. I don't know if his condition alone will get the approval.

Twinkie - I wanted to do PGD but that's even harder to get approval for. Also, I don't know if every male has the exact same heart issue or the exact same "bad gene" that could be eliminated. They all have heart failure but it's effected them in very different ways. That's why I thought it would make things simpler if we just stick to IVF and have a girl.

I think most insurances that do cover fertility treatments, may only cover diagnosis and testing, but not treatment.

So, basically they will pay for you to figure out what is wrong, but won't help you achieve pregnancy.

I would call around with insurance companies to see what they cover and what they don't. If they do offer coverages, ask them to show it to you in writing and always get the name of any person you talk to with the date and time.

lots of luck to you

I contacted my insurance company (Anthem VA) and was told exactly what you said. They will cover the testing but not the treatment. Not really sure what to do....other than this issue, it's a great insurance plan that my husband gets through his job. I'm feeling like it's not going to be an option for us if we have to come up with $25,000 out of pocket!

It is a very hard situation to be put in, I agree. We also do not have any coverage for IVF, just the diagnosis. This is something you and your DH will have to discuss and decide what is the right option for you. There are also places that finance IVF like Capital One, and another program called ARC. You might want to look into those. Also, while you want the best doctor to give you the best chances of success, IVF pricing varies greatly from RE to RE, so you might ask that upfront when speaking to various clinics, if you choose to proceed. You are not completely out of options, we live during a time that there are options to help us still have our own biological children, unlike when our parents and so forth had us. But I also think it is very wise to be cautious of passing on something genetic if you can prevent it. Good luck with your decision, and keep us posted.

Christin

I know this isn't the responsible thing to do, but I'm tempted to just go ahead and start trying on our own and hope and pray for a girl. There's no question, even according to DH's cardiologist. If we have a boy, he will have serious. life threatening heart issues.

I know this isn't the responsible thing to do, but I'm tempted to just go ahead and start trying on our own and hope and pray for a girl. There's no question, even according to DH's cardiologist. If we have a boy, he will have serious. life threatening heart issues.

I think that it's a fine idea. Remember, while they are very educated people, doctors, they cannot tell the future. You son could be perfectly healthy for all we know. Sure it doesn't seem liek it, but nobody can tell the future. And you could most certainly have a baby girl! I say get to it, pray pray pray and pray some more. Go for that miracle :angel:

******babydust********