My 3 month old insists on going to be after midnight every night. He will then sleep until 9 or 10 am, getting up once to eat. This would be fine, except that my husband and I both work and have to get up at 5:30 am. How can we get our son to go to bed earlier?

I wake him up when I go to work at 6:30 am to feed and change him, but then he goes right back to sleep. It doesn't make him want to go to bed any earlier. I've tried waking him up during the day, but he just cries and cries until he goes back to sleep. On the days that he does stay awake, he gets so overtired that it's terrible. Then, like last night, he cried for two hours before he finally went to sleep at 12:30 am. So, trying to wake him up and keep him up has not worked.

I've tried putting him down in his bed and letting him "play" by himself and I refuse to ineract with him after 10:30 pm. This has not worked either. He gets mad and cries and cries and cries.

Are we just eventually going to have to let him cry it out? I was told that we shouldn't do this before 4 months because he's not mature enough. Even then, I'm not sure if I'll be able to let him cry it out. He has GERD and the excessive crying is not good for that.

Help!! Any suggestions?

This is very common with young babies. Chances are he will begin to naturally want to go to sleep earlier and earlier in the next month or two. Most babies begin to do that by the time they are about four months old. I know it seems like an eternity to you because you need to get to bed earlier yourself so you can get up early, but it really shouldn't be too much longer.

Nancy

Thanks for the encouragement!

We usually give him a bath around 7:30 pm, then I feed him and put him to bed. He'll usually sleep for a couple of hours then before waking up around 10 pm. I was thinking that maybe we should try giving him his bath later so that when he falls asleep afterwards, he might stay asleep instead of waking up. Maybe we'll try giving him his bath around 10 pm tonight so that he'll be in bed by 11 pm. If that works, then we could slowly start moving the time up.

If that doesn't work, then I guess that we'll just have to keep trying and hope that this phase doesn't last much longer!

Everything is worth a try. Good luck!

Nancy

Moving his bath to a later time didn't work. He ended up not taking his normal two hour "nap" at that time of night (we tried to get him to sleep, but he was having none of it), but instead of going to bed earlier, he was just overtired and very cranky. He cried and cried and cried and it took us until 2 am to get him to sleep.

He is only getting about 13 hours of total sleep (day and night) a day. I think that is not enough for a baby his age. But we can't get him to sleep anymore than that. We don't wake him up and we encourage him to go to sleep at decent hours, but he just refuses. He is so cranky by the end of the day that he's impossible. And he keeps going to sleep later and later. Once his is asleep, he usually does a nice long sleep (yesterday was from 1 am until 9:30 am), but like I said earlier, we have to get up at 5:30 am for work. I wouldn't even be that upset about him staying up so late either if he were happy. But, he's not. He cries and cries and cries.

So frustrating...

I am a mom of 2 boys. Sleep is important. But not everyone is the same. But you can adjust the sleep cycle it just takes time. It is natural for a child to wake up early, so encourage it, as he will need to go to school and work someday and it is easier to get them up for school if he has a habit of getting up early- wake him around 7 in the morning.

Then around 10-11 let him sleep until he wakes up which could end up being a four hour nap for some - my own two slept 4 hours solid which is a normal sleep cycle. Go ahead and feed him after he wakes up - there is no rule that says we need to eat at 12. Don't feed him right before a nap - as it is natural for the body to get energy from its food.

Then wait until 9:00 to put him to bed and he may have aches or pains and you can give him something for that and make sure he has soft quilted blankets to keep warm but keep the air temperature at 68-70. Try this out for one month. Just don't force him to go back to sleep if he only takes a 1 or 2 hour nap. Keep everything in the house quiet while he sleeps while you are trying to get him turned around.

I know it would be nice as a mom to let him sleep in but let me tell you from experience that I WAS WRONG to make my kids go back to sleep in the morning when they got up at 6. They have never been able to get up on their own since and they sleep through the alarms and tend to miss school and they are in high school now. Keep to a rigorous routine of getting up at 7 every morning and you will prevent yourself from tons of grief. Take your nap when your child takes his. Turn the tv off and go to bed when he goes to bed. Parents have to sacrifice - we don't have the luxery to be kids when we have our own.

Good luck

could he possibly just be hungry? pediatricians recommend starting babies on cereal at 4 months, but that's just their recommendation.... there are exceptions to every rule and your son could be one of them. you could try adding rice cereal to his diet (my brother started on cereal at 3 days old because he would not sleep because he was too hungry!).

another thing to check is his diapers.... perhaps they don't absorb enough for him to be comfortable? my second was really picky with her diapers and if she was even a little bit wet, in certain diapers, she wouldn't sleep. pampers baby dry and huggies overnights were the only diapers she could wear to sleep in that would absorb enough for her to sleep! :)

I get him up at 6:30 am every morning because I have to go to work. It doesn't seem to make any difference regarding when he goes to sleep at night. I'll offer him food (breastfeeding) at night and he doesn't seem all that interested, so I don't think that he's hungry. We also make sure that he has a clean, dry diaper on before trying to get him to go to bed, so it shouldn't be bothering him, but who knows?

We took him to the pediatrician today to rule out anything obvious, like an ear infection or sinus infection. She said that he's healthy, but very overtired. Of course he is! We can't get him to sleep. We're all overtired! I asked her what we should do and she said that we need to let him cry it out.

Has anyone had any experience with letting their baby cry it out? She said that he may cry for 5 or 6 hours. I just don't know if I can do this. He's only 3 months old and I'm just not sure that that's the right way to go. Can anyone relate?

You said it. He is only three months old. I think it is too soon to worry about any of this. It has been my experience with all three of our kids that as babies get older, they start natually wanting to go to sleep earlier and earlier. Just try to hang in there. His sleep cycle will most likely change on its own. And if he is not sleeping long enough, try him in his carseat, in his swing or on his tummy. Most babies sleep a lot better and longer in one of those places or positions.

Nancy

I agree that crying it out is not the solution right now. I just can't do it. Plus, I wonder if he's not feeling well. Both my husband and I have sore throats and sinus infections, so it would stand to reason that our son might be suffering the same thing. The pediatrician said that he was fine when we took him in on Monday, but she did say that his throat looked a little red/sore.

If he were just falling asleep late, then I could deal with it much better. The problem is that he has been miserable and cries and cries. Yesterday he started crying as soon as we got home from work and just cried all night until we finally got him to fall asleep in his swing. We tried giving him Tylenol, but that didn't help any. Maybe we'll try giving him some Motrin tonight? He cries in that particularly pathetic pitch that sounds like he doesn't feel well.

I get knots in my stomach just thinking about the evenings. His crying makes me so anxious and I just feel so bad for him. I hope that this passes soon!

what is he doing at night when he isn't sleeping? will he sleep if you are holding him? have you tried the obvious things like letting him sleep in the swing, carseat, bouncer, etc? if he has GERD, perhaps laying flat starts hurting him after awhile? have you tried inclining his mattress so he isn't laying flat? is he taking zantac or anything like that to soothe his tummy for the GERD?

if you give him tylenol, try giving him the dye-free kind because it has no artificial colors or flavorings that might keep him up. i wouldn't do motrin yet, because motrin is for babies 6 months and older.

I had to weigh in here... your little one is 3 months old! He has not set a good sleep pattern yet and that is normal for many babies. I know it's extremely frustrating when you end up being sleep deprived yourself, but just know this is the hardest part and in a couple of months you will get your sleep back. Stay courageous.
For your little one... do not add blankets as another poster suggested. Your baby is way to young for that. Have him wear a sleepsack. Those are wonderful!
Also,check the GERD. My little girl was much better once we got her GERD under control with Zantac and raised her mattress up a little.
Get a new pediatrician.... any doctor who tells you that is ok for a 3-4 month old to cry it out for 5-6 hours is insensitive and a quack. I would change immediately if my dr. said that.
Now, back to my original point. Your baby is still so young that despite all of these things, his sleep will be off. He's overtired for sure because he's trying to figure it out too and does need consistency from you. I believe the most beneficial thing I did with my DD was to be consistent and push through all of the hard times. By the time by DD was 5-6 months old, she went down at 7pm until 5am for a feeding and then back to sleep until 7am. I am not saying your baby will adopt the same schedule, but create one and stick to it no matter how hard it is...
Like another poster suggested... use the swing our bouncy chair until he starts to learn that 7pm or 7:30pm or 8pm is bedtime. Then move him over to his crib. Or co-sleep if your ok with that, sleep in the baby's room on an air mattress for a couple of weeks. Just suggestions.
Good luck and remember this is the hardest part and it will get easier.

hi there,
i am just heartbroken to read your posts ! it's so hard for parents and especially those who work. me and dh are at opposite ends right now because we both work and trying to anna and all of us together and out the door is darn near impossible for us.

thankfully, my aunt came to town to take care of anna while i am wrapping up finishing work. tomorrow is my last day working. i just couldnt do it anymore and i only lasted 2 months ! i am a wreck trying to do all the house, finances, anna and work. so my hat's off to you and your dh.

i gotta say this...anna sleeps with me and on a firm pillow and she seems to sleep better and deeper. anna will be 5 months this friday and she has been sleeping on a pillow for over a month. it is controversial, but i am with her --just the 2 of us in a large bed (dh has moved to the guest room to be able to get a full night's rest) and i am a light sleeper. we started all this when she got a terrible cold and starting yesterday, she has a nasty cough. i feel like her sleeping on a pillow helps with her congestion too.

perhaps that would help with your son's gerd ??

i just wanted to let you know what's helped us.

best wishes,
m

oh, and i would never just let anna "cry it out." she cried for an hour the other night and i held her the whole time, trying my hardest not to cry myself. she finally got so tired that she dropped her head on my shoulder and was out for the whole night.

also, when anna is in a crying fit, the tv often serves as a great distraction for her.

He is on 1 mL of Zantac three times a day for his GERD (he is a big boy for a 3-month old - a little over 15 lbs). Because of the GERD, we've only been able to get him to sleep in his swing or bouncer. The crib, thus far, is a nice decoration but nothing else.

I, too, am unhappy with our pediatrician. I think that we will change. After thinking about it, it kind of made me mad that she said that we should let him cry it out. I've heard that that is particularly bad for babies with GERD.

We will just keep taking it one day at a time, I guess, and try to keep a consistent schedule. I will wake him up even on days when I don't go to work to keep a consistent schedule.

It just tears me up when he cries and cries at night. He sounds so miserable! I really think that he may be teething (my husband got his first tooth at 3 months). One poster said not to give him Motrin because he's under 6 mos of age, but the Tylenol really didn't seem to help and the dosage listed on the Montrin package is by weight. He's 15 lbs and the package says that babies 12 - 17 lbs can get 1.25 mL. What do you think?

Well, I've figured out why my poor little boy hasn't been sleeping and has been so miserable. I thought that he'd had a sore throat and I was right. I woke up this morning with a terrible sore throat and a fever of 102.3. It's no wonder that he cried and cried if he felt half as bad as I do! Thank goodness we didn't listen to our pediatrician and let him cry it out. We gave him some Motrin last night and he was a different baby within a half an hour. He didn't cry at all last night and he fell asleep at 9:30 pm. He woke up frequently, but went right back to sleep after nursing. Who can blame him with a sore throat. I'm sure that the frequent nursing makes it feel better.