Feeling just terrible and old! I have been fronting rock bands since the age of 13 until two weeks ago. My so called “friends” and band members of the current band of 4 years....ousted me. I am so hurt and feeling terrible. I don’t look 53 years old, but I don’t look 20 either, I look as if I’m in my late 30s early 40s...but I have 7 octave voice and can belt it out. They have replaced me with a 29 year old and it was done very sneaky and behind my back. I was thinking of quitting anyway as it is getting hard for me to play out all night and then work all the next day and all the practices, my knees hurt after performing for four hours on stage, dealing with the drunk people in the bars...but I am still hurt and feeling just old! Now, I have my job and that’s it. Music has always been my life, I’m feeling worthless and as if I don’t fit anywhere. I feel lost. What’s left? I am raising my 10 year old granddaughter, I have had custody since she was 4. My husband has TBI and he has periods where he is totally down. I also found that the house we're in is being put on the market this summer, so we have to move......I’m feeling over whelmed, old, and stressed. At work I am in management and corporate is driving me nuts! Just feeling terrible all the way around!
Thanks for listening

I'm so sorry your feeling this way. What a lousy thing to do to you, being sneaky and replacing you. Is it possible that you can go out on your own? Maybe just you and a guitar player or something like that? I wouldn't give up if music is your life, in your blood.
You are not worthless, see, your raising your grandchild, that is something to be proud of. And I am sure you are taking care of your husband. Start looking now for a new place to live, try and start packing alittle at a time so it is not so overwhelming, I know about that as I just moved not too long ago and it takes time, get rid of things you don't need now before the move, try to start anew, try to see this as a chance to start again.
I know that it is hard, especially since this is something you loved, your music, but try not to feel old and stressed. This may turn out to be a fresh new start. Good Luck to you.

Thanks for the encouragement! I was thinking too that this could be a blessing in disguise. I sure hope so!

There are other ways you can still get satisfaction from your music. For instance our local Hospice has a music program. Muscians will volunteer to play at the bedside of their terminally ill patients once or twice a week. It's soothing for the partient ,and gratifying for the muscians. Just a thought. Good luck . Kat

hi I'm 53 boy feel like 80.not so hot looking either,white legs,veins,wrinkles,pains.overweight,sag gy and baggy best describes me

Cyber

I am sorry you are feeling old and miserable. You are seven years younger than me and I am not old.:) I know you are a wonderful wife and Mom to your little granddaughter. Seven octave range? That's a gift. I'm doing good to reach two octaves. I'm a singer too and play the guitar a little. Sometimes I go to a nursing home where a lot of the residents have dementia and sing. They sing with me and we have a great time!

Remember when one door closes another one opens Cyber. I hope you'll stay in touch.

Sincerely Nadine:)

Hey, look at it this way, no one can steal the music in your heart, it will always be there. If you really wanted you know that you could always get another job in that field, but after being away from it, you will probably like just being at home enjoying your grandchild. Now you've got options whether you want to continue your music career or stay at home, it's your choice to make.... Wishing you all the best.

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I can relate. I'm 52 and am just now realizing that I've structured my whole life around catering to my anxiety and panic disorders. I never had to directly confront the things I feared the most and as a result I never knew what a mess I am! And now the universe has turned everything upside down and I have to reinvent myself.

I do agree with previous posts that the powers that be place us into growth situations when we're ready. It's always painful; I don't know how many people would choose to grow to the same degree we eventually do involuntarily. Aging is harder for women because our social roles are so strictly defined; we live in a society where only the young and beautiful women are noticed and unrealistically deemed the norm. As we get older we slip out of view a bit at a time until suddenly - we're in our fifties, still living in the roles we've had for years but now we don't fit any more at least as far as others are concerned. When we're summarily dismissed because we're not young, pretty and theoretically as sexually desirable as we've always been it can be devastating.

You'll be okay; I can tell from your post that you're already comfortable fitting into widely varied situations simultaneously. That's actually quite difficult, so you're further ahead of the game than you realize. As soon as you accept whatever your new roles are and adjust your life to fit you'll look back and understand how many new benefits you've received. Good luck!

December

I'm 48 and I can so relate to the white legs and veins thing. For all our married lives, it's still been a game of chase. I don't feel so chased anymore. I feel like such a hasbeen with skills and with outward appearances. :mad: