Well, it's been a busy morning, so I'm not getting to post this until now. But it's been eating away at me, so I need to say something.

Most of you know a sibling of a close friend that I have known a long has recently died of brain cancer at the young age of 22. He was full of life, dancing in the halls at school, at every party, new gf every week lol and SO smart. So I'm really sad about that; maybe that's another reason why everyhting seems so balck and sad and unfair.

Dh and I sat down and had a real talk yesterday evening, no tv (me) and no videogames (him). Just us, frank, talk. Yesterday (it was NOT my day.) I found out that work, due to a recent merger and my tasks cut down, my hours are being cut from 40hrs to 30hrs a week. :( I am out SO much money because of that. DH and I, we live in a nice home, but it isn't exactly baby-friendly, so we had been planning on buying a new house. I was thinking about taking a part time job to fill the extra hours, but DH put that idea down right away. He said he really didn't want me workign two jobs and getting tired and anxious.

We went through our finances, and me staying at this job at only 30hrs, isn't going to cut it, even after selling our winter cottage. (most of the moeny we had froom it went to fixing it up and paying off a student loan :( It sounded so smart then )

I'm going to have to find a new job. And here's what really is the hard part. Dh held my hands and looked so sad and said that he was really sorry, but he really doesn't want to actively (or aggressively, how ever) try for a baby until things on the financial side of our life has calmed down. And as much as it hurts, I agree. I don't want to actively try for a baby if we're unsure about our finances, and I'm going back and forth to interviews and so forth.

I'm really sad and disappointed and it has ruined my entire week. But I feel that I agree with my DH. And if he isn't totally on team with ttc, then I can't be either. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less. I just feel like I'm never going to get my bfp, and we're never going to settle down, that money will keep haunting us, all of us. :( Even if we're not filthy luxuriously rich, all we want is to be stable. And we can't have that, which means I can't have my babies :(

So for now, we're going to BD just whenever we feel like, I'll only have Provera from my doctor without the Clomid.

I'm really mad at work for doing this. On top of that, my boss is getting a hundred dollar pay raise (per week) , while I get cut a hundred dollars. I feel like all of my hopes and plans have gone down the toilet.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for finishing and I am SO sorry to be such a down drab. :(

Geneviève-Angélique

DONT U dare apologize ever!!! the long talks with our DH can be so hard I think they have it just as hard as us BUT in a very different way. I know they have feelings too, but they dont really get how straining it is on us as the child barers or however its spelled. genny things will eventually turn around for u and the rest of us I just know it. AND i am going to quote my mother here who was a single mother to 3 kids U WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO HAVE KIDS!!! and if u wait till u do u will never have them... I keep that saying very close to my heart seeing as DH and I certainly arent well off AT all... keep ur chin up someone has to hear our prayers ...someone must. all my love
~Danielle

HI Princess, I'm really sorry, it seems like you're having a really tough week. Money is a tough issue when it comes to IF. I suppose in the end it's really you and DH's decision as to how you want to handle it. Some people will do anything including mortgaging thier homes to have the child they want, while others aren't comfortable going into the IF arena unless they are financially stable. It's really a personal decision.

I know you say you're in agreement with DH, but it sounds from your post that you're heart broken by this decision. Perhaps you can take a month or two and see how things go financially? Sometimes we think things are going to be worse than they end of being.

Whatever you decide, I hope your days brighten soon because I feel so bad seeing you so sad. :) - April

Hi girls, thanks so much for posting! :) I am really heart broken, and after reading your posts, I am wondering if this is the right decision. I mean, my grandmother was a seamstress, and had eight children, and they made it just fine. And my Dh's father, his grandmother had 13 children, and they made it. (My question is how come I couldn't get the super-fertile genes? :jester:)
I think I'm going to try and talk to Dh again tonight. We woudln't be off TOO much, we could still be comfortable if we lived within our means. I think he just has the white picket fence dream. I don't know. I'm so confused.

Thnk you agian for your posts :)

Gigi

PS. Danielle, I think you mother is really right..I've heard that saying before and I think it's true!

Princess - I am so sorry about your job-cut. Those things never come at a good time, and it's not fun to have to find a new job. But I sort of agree with Danielle that you will never have enough money for a child. We are just getting by right now with one child in daycare, and we have two more on the way! I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm thinking about quitting my job and starting a daycare so I can be home with my kids and make money because there's no way I can just stay home and have no income. We have too much debt (mainly from infertility treatments) and a high mortgage. Well today my boss told my mom (who I work with) that I should talk to him about a raise or something and try to negotiate something before I decide to quit. Now I have that to think about when I was so happy thinking about being home everyday with my kids. It's so confusing, but I hope you do what you really want to do and I hope you and DH can agree on a compromise. Take care, sweetie!

Cristy

Hi Gigi,
It must have been hard for you to make that decision:(
I know this fertility thing is not just emotionally draining but it is expensive no matter what kind of insurance you have. I dont have specific answer to your post because it is between you and your DH and I respect that. If it was me and my DH, it would probably be different story.

I am saying that because I work fulltime 36 hours/wk (72hrs in 2 weeks) and where I work, Overtime is not an issue. They want us to work more days than what is required if possible. But since I started this fertility thing, I have been late to work, called in sick, and used all my holidays and vacations to get off work. I do my job very well when Im at work like nothing is going on with my life, yet it is starting to hurt my job. Less hours, coming in late which also means less money but I have no choice. The RE wants me at certain day in the clinic when I am supposed be with at work and even thou some coworker knows and understands what Im going thru, it is hurting them as well that they have to doubletime their job in my absence. My manager wants to meet me tomorrow in the office and I think I already know what the issue is. Wont be a nice day tomorrow

I told DH, that I want to change my status to Part time and just work overtime the days Im free so I have more control on my schedules but he was hesitant coz I might lose all my full time benefits plus we need a full time job incase we will start the IVF which is very costly. Did I say,we are comfortable and happy where we live but we are not rich as well.

And yet, I think I already know what to say to my manager tomorrow if I am asked to make a choice or given Level 1 warning for my frequent absence, I'll simply say that Im doing this Fertility thing and my job is important to me as well but if I have to lose hours, or lose this job to continue this journey, I would do so even thou there is no guarantee because at this very moment, this is the most important thing in my life. And even if God wont give it to me then at least I know, I did all that I can and I will accept that. I just dont wanna miss any opportunity that we might have along the way.......

Sorry this is too long but I hope you will find peace and your DH whatever decisions you'll make. BDing is free:) My friend's coworker has been doing fertility treatments for 3 years. She was already 41 and decided to stop. 3 months after she got pregnant naturally to healthy baby boy who is now 1 year old. When I heard I about that, it even boost my hopes higher.

Sarah

Oh Princess I am so sorry about all that is going on in your life right now.I swear seems like everything hits us all at once.I totally agree though unless we are rich we will never have enough money for a baby.DH and I live in a 2 bedroom condo which we have no mortgage and it helps SO much but honestly its no place to raise a child maybe only as an infant but then we need a bigger place.We dont even think about that all we want is a baby and then we know everything will fall into place.Just think hard and long and I am sure you will come up with so many solutions and I believe god helps.One time someone asked us why we dont have kids yet well since we dont tell everyoe about IF my answer is always well we dont have our finances straight yet and we dont have enough to provide.He said to me dont worry have kids and god helps you provide.I honestly believe that.I hope you and DH can have a nice talk again and hopefully figure things out.Also you never know sweetie you just might get that BFP without any help from the RE.Try not to be so down I just know things will work out maybe you will get a better job more money etc.Dont worry my good frined god is watching and he will help you.Take care sending you big comforting hugs and know we love you and are always here to listen and help.

Love ya,

Mapia

Oh Princess Im so sorry you are suffering so much heartache and disappointment, but when things are at there worst and everything I want seems so out of reach I just keep reminding myself "where there's a will, there's a way". I know you have the will and I'm sure you will find the way, and you know what? sometimes the way finds you. So please don't give up hope and always know your not alone and we are here for you always.

Cashahn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Princess, I am just now getting to sit and read your post, and it made me so sad to read your first post. Please keep your head up, and hang in there!!

First off -- I totally agree with Danielle... For 99% of us the time is never going to be PERFECT (timewise/financewise) to have kids. I totally understand the hesitation, and of course I am not telling you what you and DH should do, but the two of you will sit down and come to a decision as to what is best for you. It may be tough to come to a decision or to talk about it right this second as the week has been so rough for both of you, and sometimes you need to clear your head first. DH knows how important this is to you, as I'm sure it is to him as well. Maybe the two of you can agree to sit down in a week or so, once you've both had time to deal with everything that's been going on this last week and things have settled a bit.

I am so sorry you are down right now, I am sending you big hugs, and I really hope that things brighten up for you as the week goes on. Know I am thinking about you!

Love,
Kelley

Hi Princess, I'm so sorry to hear about your cut in hours, and the upsetting situation you find yourself in. I can so relate to your money issues. I sometimes feel that we are irresponsible to be trying for a baby as we are in such a dire financial situation. With me studying I am only recieving a small scholarship and DH has been unable to find work where we live after losing his last job. We are actually having to rent out our flat for 6 months and stay in my mums house because we are struggling with the mortgage payments, and DH can get lots of work where she lives. I guess we just do what we have to do to get by. The thing is, people have babies whilst living in extreme poverty and everything does work out. Perhaps you could take the emphasis off ttc while you are looking for part time work, and you never know, it may well happen naturally while you are not concentrating on it. You might even find you can cut down on certain things and manage to get by on less money. It's so difficult at first taking a pay cut, but you can sometimes get creative to make ends meet. I so hope things turn around for you sweetie. Maybe you can have another chat with DH. Big hugs. Lizzie.x

Princess.
I'm so sorry you're having a hard week. It doesn't seem fair that you're having to cut your hours while your boss gets a raise. Hopefully this won't be anything permanent and you'll be able to get back your hours plus a raise. I'll pray for that.

Deciding to stop ttc is a hard decision to make (I had to make that 1.5 years ago) when I was 1.5 years younger. Although the desire to continue to ttc is still there and is painful to stop, it is good that you and your DH is in agreement. It would be worse if you totally diagreed and had polar opposite desires. It seems like you've worked out somewhat of a compromise with the Provera and clomid. Hopefully that will work and you won't need to pay for expensive IF tx. You never know.

I totally agree with Danielle about having enough $ for kids. Or the best time to have kids. Those are something that just cannot be fully attained, there really is no "right time" to have kids. I believe that God is in control and He will only give you what you can handle. Sure it would be nice to have all your ducks in order but that hardly works for anyone. And just when you think you have enough $ for kids you're gonna need more. Is there
anything(s) that you can cut out of your budget (eatting out, extra shopping, etc) that would help?

I know I didn't offer any new solution to your situation, but I hope you and DH will be at peace with whatever you two decide.

Pinkie

Princess, I am so sorry about your job.
I know that it's a tough situation and alot to think about right now. You and DH are both overwhelmed. Maybe if you give yourselves some time to get over the intial shock, the idea of TTC might be here sooner than you think.

I bet your next job will pay even more money, with better hours, more vacation time, medical benefits with full IVF coverage, AND paid maternity leave for one year!:)

Hi Princess I am really sorry to hear about your paycut and then your talk with DH. I knwow how badly you want to have a baby. I agree with Danielle that there is never a good time financially to have a baby but everyone gets thrgh it one way or another. I hope you chat with DH goes well and you can compromise in some way. I hope that everything works out for you both.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Lots of love
Charlene

PS I hope you have a better day today.

Oh my girls, my sweet sisters, I could never go on without you. :) I had to shut my office door, because the wrmth and sincerity of yoru words moved me to tears. Good tears :)

I'll talk to Dh in a few days about the money situation--- I think both he and I need to talk with clear heads, and this week really isn't opening up any opportuinties for that. He and I had an argument this morning....not at all IF related, just something small and stupide that got blown out of size.

I understand what he is coming from, but I completely agree with what everyone here is saying.... there is never a good time (finance/time) to have a baby. I mean if my seamstress grandmother could provide happily for 8 children then we most certainly can as well. There is a saying that I think echoes across many cultures, and in mine it says "With a baby comes money."

I went through the paycheuqe and everything once more, and you know what? There really isn't a difference in the pay!! :D So that's one thing I don't have to worry all too much about. Maybe I can keep this job. We will see for now. :)

Thank you again for all your prayers, thoughts, words and hugs. I was really in a drab place. :( I'm still sad because of everything (you're right, it's like sometimes everything hits you at once) but at least thanks to you ladies, I can see that everyhting is going to get better and soon. :)

Gigi, I must start of by saying I am sorry things dont seem to going as planned and down the road you would like them to go.

This decision is such a life altering decision and I will agree with everyone else by saying you will NEVER be prepared financially for kids (of course unless you are rich rich). NOt to mention there is always going to be something you want. We started that mind set when we first got married. We;ll wait another year so we can buy this or that, then when that year rolled around there was something else we wanted because if we had kids then we couldnt aford it. We did that for 3.5 years, now look at us. Married for almost 11 years!! Sometimes we still think alomg those lines, but I would not back out beacause I now want this more than any object that I own. I'd trade my 3200 sq ft home, Lexus SUV, DH's Z06 and truck..everything I own, I'd give ti away if that would mean I'd get a baby in return. None of it matters now and I think back on how silly I was to think that in the first place. Everyone's life is different and everyone's situation is different, but I truely believe that you will enver be ready money wise for kids. Growing up my dad made $18k a year for a family of 4, they always padi cash for cars (althought they were knowed to break down), they owned a home and we had food on the table, but most important, my sister and I were loved. Some people say that that they want their kids to have more than they did. I look back and I didnt need anything and never asked for anything because my mom always bent over backwards for us kids. I look at todays kids that have 6 rooms full of toys, that they dont play with and most of them only want attention from their parents that they dont always get because mom and dad work 12 hours a day to give them want they didnt have. Its one big circle.

I knwo that you and DH will make the right decision for you, like I said, everyones situation is different. I hope you can find peace, sometimes it does help to postpone things for 6 months or so. You can save alot of money and turn things around in a short period of time.

((hugs))

I look at todays kids that have 6 rooms full of toys, that they dont play with and most of them only want attention from their parents that they dont always get because mom and dad work 12 hours a day to give them want they didnt have. ((hugs))


That's so true. I do come from a well-off family, and DH even more so, but we started all over when we came here. And I remember as a child, a young one, being spoiled and fussed with toys and clothes, but all I wanted was for my Maman to read me fairy tales, and for Papa to pick me up and swing me around liek how on TV. (Luckily though, when I moved, Maman became a mother-mother, who comes so often)

Dh and I do have the thought that we want to give our kids everything.. like in high school if there is a trip to Egypt for their History class over spring break for example. But you're right, it's so much more important just to be there and love your little ones.

I see so many of my younger cousins (like 14, 15) spoiled by their parents with the latest clothes, make ups and technologies. But they always say to everyone that they always have the most fun at our house because we all wear pyjama and eat pizza and watch movies.

I really need to have that tlak with DH.....

Hi Princess wanted to check in on you today and see how you were feeling.I agree with what praying wrote its so true.I grew up in a middle class family where mom stayed home with us.I wouldent trade it for all the toys in the world.I loved having my mom at home when I got home from school or when I would get sick and stayed home from school.It was great my dad worked a lot of hours to provide so we missed him growing up but hey someone had to work right.........lol.We had everything a nice middle sized house and nice yard and a mom that was always there for us.When my dad opened his buisness and made some money he bought a nice big house but then a few years later my parents divorced I always wished we stayed in our smaller house and my parents never divorced.Well we cant compare those days to these days cause these days its harder for a mother to stay home considering how expensive life has gotten.Try buying a house now on 1 income.My father was head waiter at the most expensive resturant in Washington DC when I was growing up he bought a house and raised 3 kids and kept his wife home with the kids.Try doing that these days yeah right wont happen.I hope you can manage to talk to DH and work something out.Have a wonderful day sweetie.

Love ya,

Mapia

Oh dearest, thank you so much for writing. I'm starting to feel much better. :) I knwo this is not a religion board, but I did say a few prayers and then I felt better. DH and I will hopefully work out our arguement tonight...it wasn't a big one...in fact, I'm kind of hoping we'll just drop it and be back to normal. :angel:

I'm also really sorry to hear about the change in your childhood. Everyhtign sounded so good until your father created his own business and your parents got divorced. I remember why, and I won't forget it. Still, as you said before, God sees everything and He will deal with it. And He really dealt with that one.

everything is so much more expensive! We live in a small house with two bedrooms... although in my opinion, it should be called one bedroom and a closet. It would be fine for an infant, but then as (s)he grows....then what? But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

One thing I am really hopeful about is that, okay. Let's say last cycle had been normal and I had gotten my AF on time. Okay? With me so far? Now let's assume that THIS cycle is normal as well... well then I'd be ovulating now! :D But I don't know if you can have a regular cycle after missing a period the cycle before. :confused: I hope so! I could be ovulating soon!! And we have been BDing regularly!! Sunday night, Monday night, and last night!!!! :bouncing:

Hope everyhting is all right with everyone else!! I'm slowly getting better! :)

Hi Princess, I'm glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better, even if it is slowly. I definitely am affected when one of my girls is down. :angel:

I think so many of the other girls have said it best. When it comes to kids it really is all about the love and not the money. I know some wealthy families who neglect their children... put their care in the hands of strangers sometimes 24hrs and such. It certainly is not the money that makes a family.

I know you're gonna be a great mom. Sadly it's a difficult journey for us to get there but it will be worth it in the end. I think taking a few days to let your heads clear is a good idea, then maybe you can talk to DH again about it. For now, just try and relax and be good to yourself. I hope your day keeps getting better! :)

Princeess I am so sorry that you and dh had a fight this mornng I hope it blows over soon. I think clearing your heads is also a very good idea. All the ladies are right money does not make a family it is all about love and I know that you are going to be a wonderful mommy.

As for you cyle I really do not know what to think PCOS is so unpredictable. Good luck.

I hope your day get better.

Thinking of you
Love
Char

Kari-- I was worried about you and how you're feeling! :) Hopfully you're feeling better today. I really do need to have that talk with DH because my whole outlook has changed. Now I just want my babies, I don't care if we live in a cardboard box. I don't mean that literally, but financaes aren't the first thing on my mind anymore. I just want my little ones, and I want all you ladies to get all your little ones too! I'm mad at IF. Why does it have to stop everything?????? It's not fair that a "homeless" (lives with friend)18 year old who sleeps around with every man who walks and cares only about 2 things, her next drug hit, and her next man. How can SHE get pg when people like us can't? Sorry abotu the rant.. :rolleyes: It just hasn't been my week so far.

Char-- Thanks Char! I hope Dh and I are fine when we get home too. I'm fine now, I just don't want to go home and find out that he's not fine and we have to hash the whoel thing out. It really isn't a big deal, but he has the habit of making smoke where there is no fire. :| It was just over something stupide..it was 6:30am and he had woken me up rudely by demanding where his keys were. :rolleyes: And then he got mad when I got mad. :rolleyes: Oh well, hopefully he'll be fine tonight. And if he's not, I'm just going to be alone and not care. I'm tired of feelign sad this week.

I hope you ladies are doing well!!

Princess,

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better today, I hope things continue to look up even more as the day progresses. It really is unfair that IF makes things so hard, and if I could kick (her?) in the butt, I would!

I know a woman who works as a nanny for this one very wealthy family - she said that when the younger daughter was born, the mother just handed her the baby and said "You deal with her". The two kids were raised totally by the nanny, who is amazing, but it just goes to show that money doesn't fix everything either. You and DH are going to be amazing parents sometime SOON! I'm hoping your BDing this week will lead to some great news!

I hope the argument with DH blows over by tonight, and that once your minds are a bit more clear, you can revisit your discussion.

I hope you keep feeling better!

Kelley

Kelley, you're so much like a ray of sunshine here, has anyone told you that? No matter what, you always find a way to cheer people on. You're going to make an amazing mother! :D

Hopefully Dh is over it when I get home. He's SUCH a drama queen. :rolleyes: don't get me wrong, I love him. My heart still jumps when he smiles and I love falling asleep in his arms every night (even though he hogs the bed.) But sometimes... it feels liek he's the hormonal woman. :jester: LOL.

So far my day is looking up. I'm avoiding work, since I'm treating myself to an at-work holiday. :angel: Oh and before I forget, IF is TOTALLY a 'her'. I'd give her a swift kick in the behind if I could.

What a poor excuse for a mother. You know in all my rants, I mention the woman who parties and sleeps with any man she can make eye contact with, and get pg. But I forget about so many other women who pay other people to raise their children. They are just as neglectful as the skanky moms. Yes, it's decided, IF is WAY WAY overdue for a swift kick in the bum. :mad:

Hopefully, last 'cycle' was just a hiccup and I'm going to ovulate soon. I can't tell by CM.....Dh and I have been fairly 'active' so it's hard to tell what's cm and what's...not. :angel:

Thank you for your kind words!!

I so know what you mean. My DH is also such a drama queen. I'm calm and try to avoid confirtation with him but no, he loves to bring of 7 years ago or 10 years ago. Me, when its over its over...period! He over analyzes everything and gets dramatic about it. He is so much worse than a women. He NEEDS attention, and he most definately PMS' on a regular basis. but, I love him dearly:)

Men dont process this IF as easily as we do. Even tho they want kids, they dont have that burning desire like we do so they dont have that urgent rush like we do. He may need a month or two to process all of this. It took me a long time to get DH on board with clomid, then after that it took a year to get him on board with IUI then it took 2 years to get him on board with IVF. He SO bad wants things to happen like a fairy tale. You know the night you have so much passion (ya...gigle, gigle...) with lots of love you end up making a part of you two and 9 months later its here. Se what I mean how he is such a women:) It took him a long time to realize that we are not going to have the fairy tale.

CM. When your BDing alot, wear black underwear. Now, if the stuff you find on your undies the next day is in a circle pattern its CM, if it is more straight up and down and blotchy its left over semen. Also, if you do the internal check, if you swish it around in your fingers and it stays wet and slimy for more than a few sec then its Cm, if it dries quick then its semen. Have I lost you;) Also, I find that green tea and LOTS of water helps me to produce lots of CM, I'm talking cup fulls that stretch 6 inches or more. Or, what I used to do but its got too expensive and because of the sugar, I did one tbsp in the morning and the evening of robitussen w/ glussefuessn (way msp). I did that from CD 7-16. AND because estrogen is what causes you to produce CM, you can take soy between CD 3-14 on a 5 day basis and you'll produce more and I've read that sometimes its known to have a clomid effect on women because of the natural estrogen. Some of the things that tells me that I am near O is I can smell EVERYTHING up to a few days before, but my biggest key is I feel every twitch and stretch on my ovaries. I hope my little tid bits help you out.

Enjoy your day off.

What excellent advice Praying, thank you!!! :D:D:D Well, I did what you said (I'm wearing black silkies! :D) and the um...TMI....leakings, are thin watery and in circular shapes. I did a little bit of a feel :o and it's wet and slimy! :D Hopefully this is all good news! :D

I'm so glad Dh isn't the only who is a drama queen!!! Mine too picks up things that happened long time ago. He was mad at me once and I really had no idea why (it turned out he thought I had been given a ring by an ex, but really, it was ffrom a girl friend.) and you know what he said after I asked what was wrong and why he was mad, "If you don't know then I'm not tellign you." LOL!!!!! I"M supposed to be the woman!!! :jester: You know what? I think your Dh and my Dh have the exact same thoughts as it comes to IF. It's taking him a bit to get on board with the Clomid. And I KNOW it would take him forever to even consider IVF. I htink he's spent so much time in teen years trying NOT to get pg, (or get a girl pg rather) that he thinks that the perfect mix of scented candles and a lusty summer night will get one pg :rolleyes:

Thank so much for your advice dearest!

Hi Princess I agree with you all money does not make better parents.Sometimes money gives you more problems.Thats what happened to my dad money gave him all sorts of problems he lost his family and now that he realizes it he says it that the money he has does not make him happy it wont buy him happiness.I told him well you made your bed dad so now you can lay in it.My parents always tought us that money is not everything they were good parents they taught us to love and made us into good adults.Now what happened to dad was a midlife crisis and the money he made.Oh well you are right god will take care of that.Now as for you and DH hmmm well if you bded last night sounds like you guys are already making up.........lol.I am sure you guys will come to reason.Now lets say you did get pregnant last cycle what would have happened then?Getting pregnant is not always planned as we all know so well.Stopping treatment does not mean you wont get pregnant.So either way its not like you are stopping on trying.To answer your question you can still O if you miss your period.Sounds like you might be O'ing.So bed away my good friend...........lol.I hope you get pregnant and then all this talk wont be needed.Take care and have a great afternoon.

Love ya,

Mapia

Hi Princess, I have been reading what you have been going through recently, and your heartfelt post really moved me and compelled me to write, because it really hit home with me. I totally understand. I know when things like hit you when you’re already down, it seems almost impossible to continue. Taking a break once in a while is ok. Maybe this break is more about needing a break than about not having money. And like doublasap8 said, sometimes these things don't turn out as bad as you think they will.

I quit my job about a year ago right after my second m/c. I wanted to get away from my crazy job environment and try to take on a non-profit endeavor of my dreams, as well as have the time I needed to take care of my health (and while I do work, I have no income :(). But, with IF, one of the challenges is having the time to see the dr, and also work, so maybe having a few less hours is a blessing. Now that we are living off only one income, I worry about money every day - or more. My house is always in need of work, dr appointment and health insurance is always expensive, and then in the past month, my water heater needed to be replaced, and last weekend my car window was smashed and broken into- so there are always unexpected expenses that just make it hard. Now, we don't have money for new clothes or new shoes, or anything fun anymore, or go out, and it does cause a strain our relationship. On the other hand, since my schedule is more free, it helps in a lot of ways too. I am grateful that I do have a home, and for what I do have, which could always be a lot less. I tell my self I have everything I need, and soon I'll have more.

I struggle everyday with the same questions of can I afford to have a baby. But can I afford not to? I'm treating my endo with Lupron (going on my 4th month) so I feel like I'm moving towards having my baby, but am also not able to TTC right now, so I have a little break and time to prepare. But really, with IF, it is not the same game when TTC when you are a fertile-mertile. You really can't plan it, like, I'll get pregnant in the summer, that way....

I know you are young right now, and as you get older, it will only be harder to have a baby. I don't know a whole lot about PCOS, but I know with Endo, it will only continue to get worse. You may be the most fertile you will ever be right now. Unlike other women, you may not have the luxury to wait too long. I understand not being able to afford treatments, and having to make compromises. I don't think I could ever consider having IVF. But you may not be able to just take a break and have a baby without really trying. I know that truly does happen, but realistically, you have infertility problems, which are treatable. It seems like you have just got the ball rolling with treatment, and are still working on normalizing your cycle, which is step one, and may take some time (so you have more time to prepare :)). If you try now, your journey may end at the perfect time. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but you have to take your health in consideration when making this decision, (that way you don't have to feel so guilty about not having $$ ;)).

Hi Princess, I'm so sorry to hear how crappy your week has been. :( First the job, and then DH, it's enough to get anyone down. I agree w/ the advice everyone has given you. If everyone waited until the perfect time to have a baby, none of us would be here. I hope that you and DH can reach a compromise soon. I truely believe things will work out for the best. I know you are gonna make a fabulous mom someday. And I really do believe it will be soon.

Hugs and love to you.

Holly

PS...I just re-read my post, and I realized it could easily be misunderstood....When I said "If everyone waited until the perfect time to have a baby, none of us would be here." I meant none of us would be here on this earth cuz nobody would ever have any babies. ;) Hope you're having a better day!

Hey there -

How are you? I hope that DH was okay when you got home tonight and that there wasn't any drama.

I don't want to keep echoing what everyone has already said, but keep your chin up!! Things are going to turn around very soon!!!

Have a good night, and I will talk to you tomorrow!!

Love,
Kel

p.s. Lol, can you tell my DH that I am a 'ray of sunshine' for me? He always thinks I'm grouchy! Lol!

Hi Princess and good morning to you. I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? I hope you and DH sorted everything out.

I also hope that you are Oing or have Oed and you and DH could get some BDing done:D. What better way to make up after your little fight?:D:D.

Thinking of you, I hope you have a wonderful day
Charlene

Wowww, what wonderful advices!! Dh and I had a little dramam last night, oh who am I to kid, it was HIS fault!! :D He was the little drama queen last night. Thankfully though, he finally got off his drama kick and apologized (in his way. He put his arm around me and said "best friends, again?")

We talked everything over, and we finally came to a reasonable conclusion. We've decided that of course, we are not taking a break from ttc. (He was surprised that I had somehow gottten myself to that conclusion.) He is just hesitant to start using a fertility drug just yet. He insistes that we haven't given the surgery enough time to work, and that maybe if for the next three months we work hard at eating right, exercising and using the rhythm method we'll get pg. And if we don't, that's a fair time to see if the surgery worked (and I agree that's fair) then we'll get started on the Clomide. That way, we'll have given my body a fair chance to straighten itself out after the surgery.

Most of all, he agrees that there is no perfect time for a baby and us waiting until we have a white picket fence and neighbours who bake fresh bread when you move in.... not going to happen. But he's just scared of Clomid (my words, not his) right now. Which is fine with me, I'll give him a few cycles of trying naturally until I really get down his throat :)

Thank you ladies for all your support, wisdom and advice. Even though I can't reply to you each indiviually (then this post woudl be a book) I assure you, every word, goes straight to my heart, because I knwo each word was written with time and love. :) I am feeling 100% back to my normal self now, and I feel ready to take on the world!!! :D

I'm really happy that DH and I sorted this out. I think he is too. Every morning, he gives me kiss good bye before he leaves, even when I'm still asleep. So this morning, I woke up to him holding me (he was dresed and ready for work) and kissing my face, and I asked if he was leaving. And he said "No, I just love you." :D:D:D:D So I think we're okay again and the "revised talk" has definitely helped!

Oh Princess, I'm so happy after reading your post!! :) It sounds like the heart to heart you had w/ DH really made a difference! The two of you have definitely come up w/ a plan you can both live w/, and I think it's a very good plan at that! Nothing wrong w/ giving your body a few months to see if the surgery worked before taking hormones you may not need. Reading about how you woke up w/ DH holding you & kissing your face brought such happy tears to my eyes. I'm so glad to hear that everything is looking so much brighter for you now. :) Enjoy the rest of your day & have a great evening w/ your honey!

Holly

Princess,

Yay! I am so happy that you and DH got to sit down and talk and that you're both on the same page now. I'm glad that you are feeling better and I think you came to a good decision. And who knows -- you and DH trying on your own may just bring you that BFP in the next couple of months!!!

I hope you are enjoying your day!!!

Love,
Kel

Thank you so much ladies!! :D I'm hoping that we can get our BFP naturally, but if not, it's good to have a back up plan, right? :D
Thank you so much for everything.. :D
Holly--you're so dear, such a sweet woman, you will be such a good mother :) Dh and I were very good this morning, I hope we can keep it up for awhile :D I hope you enjoy your evening with BF and that you feel much better soon!

Kelley- It feels so good to know that we're on the same page now :D It was a bit of drama at first, but we cleared it up and now everything is lovely. :angel: Hoping that we do get our BFp on our own!! If not, Plan B is ready to go :D

Thank you ladies and I hope you have a wonderful evening!

Well one way or the other, Plan A ... or Plan B... IS GOING to work!!!

:D

Thank you dearest!! I can't wait to hear your BFP announcement too!!!!

:bouncing: Me too -- I can barely contain myself wanting to know who's gonna be the next BFP on the board!!! I'm really hoping it's someone from the current 2ww!!!!!

Excuse my bouncing -- I went out for lunch and I don't know what they put in my food, but I'm bouncing off the walls here!

:bouncing:

Kel

Oh my gosh me too!!!!!!!! I had to go into the washroom and literally jump around!!! I couldn't contain myself!!! Maybe it's a sign of a lot of BFP's coming!!!! :D

Oh Princess I am so happy you and DH finally made up.I thought it was so sweet how he kissed and hugged you this morning.I love when DH kisses me before going to work I think its so sweet.Well I think its reasonable to give it 3 months and I hope you get your BFP without needing any meds.Ok I am laughing at you and Kelley I can picture you guys jumping up and down.........lol.Well you have a wonderful evening with DH and have some make up sex its always the best sex..............hahaha.

Love,

Mapia

Hi Princess I I posted for you earlier but it looks lke my post disappeared. I am really getting frustrated. I have to re write almost every post:mad:.

I am gad that you and DH got to chat things through and I also think 3 months naturally to see if the surgery worked is a very good idea.

I hope that you and DH have a wonderful weekend. I know you still have some time to go before the weekend starts, but mine starts now:D.

Lots of love Charlene

Thats sound like a very fair and smart compramise you and DH came to. I can remember when I had my last lap and they removed a bunch of scar tissue the DR said that my chances would be high in the next following 3 months. Actually after my D&C, he said the same thing. So, I'll be corssing my fingers for you in the next 3 months:) Keep at it like rabbits:D

LOL, I wish we had time for make-up sex last night!! Poor man has been waking up at 5:30am every morning to go to work early, and by 8pm he's exhausted. And well, he's kind of moody, so it's not really.....amourous. In fact, i just try to stay out of his way LOL. :D But oh well, he works a normal shift week after next!

I hope everyone is doing really well!! As usual, I' going to catching up on threads, while pretending to be hard at work!!

I'm also going to ask that this thread be closed, since Dh and I had that other talk, and I'm not disappointed anymore. :)

Thank you ladies for the crossed fingers 9mine are crossed for you too!) and the encouragement!! :D

Love and *****babydust******