Hi everyone,

I have written so many posts on here about naptime and bedtime for ds (almost 9mo), and here's another one...
For awhile, we were doing REALLY good with both naptime and bedtime--he is still doing really well with his naps, when he's put down he will normally just go to sleep on his own. Here's the problem that we've been having at bedtime though. He'll go to sleep at his regular time (usually around 8pm), and end up sleeping for up to an hour, then wake and want to come out of bed. Sometimes he wakes up screaming like he's afraid or has had a nightmare, and on those occasions even when either dh or I goes in and picks him up to comfort him (or rub his back, which doesn't help in the least) it doesn't seem to help, he'll continue to cry and just freak out until we bring him into the light. So when he does this we normally just bring him back out until he's really tired again (usually not for about an hour later), and then go through the bedtime routine again. Then after all that, we sometimes just need to let him cry himself to sleep (which he is currently doing, actually--but we've left the lamp on for him and it seems to help a little bit), but sometimes he goes down fine. Then other times, he'll just wake up whining and crying like he's ready to get up after a nap, and on those occasions we'll normally just rock him in the glider (in his room), or pick him up and console him, and put him back in bed, and he'll end up crying himself to sleep.
So as you can see, we're having quite a time here with this boy.... I know someone will probably say we need to be consistant but my problem is that sometimes he seems genuinely afraid and I don't know if I should just leave him in his room to be scared by himself.... Any ideas?
I should also mention that he doesn't normally sleep through the night, he'll usually wake up once or twice. Sometimes I know he's really hungry, so he gets a bottle, and sometimes I'm not sure if he just needs a cuddle or what but I'll usually just give him a bottle and he goes right back to sleep. But I do want to break him from waking during the night and not being able to go back to sleep on his own. I find it incredibly tough to just let him cry in there by himself--I don't want him to think I'm abandoning him. But I also find that if I go in to rub his back or hold him for a minute, it makes matters that much worse because the crying starts all over again when he hits the matress, or when I leave the room.
If anybody can relate or has any suggestions on what I can try, I'd really appreciate hearing from you! Thanks!

Whiskers :angel:

I can relate! We went through the EXACT same thing around the same age that you little one is. He would go to bed at 7 then anywhere between 10:30-12:00 he would wake up screaming like he was terrified of something. I could not figure out what was going on and my husband told me that nothing was wrong and to just let him cry. I KNEW something was wrong. Then one night my husband went in to care for him and came out and said that he thought he was afraid of the dark or something and that he looked really scared. Turned out... he was teething. I swear every sleeping problem that we have encountered is because he was teething. He was just waking up in so much pain that he was scared. If this is your sons problem, consider giving him Motrin. Motrin helps with inflammation which 'causes most of the nighttime pain due to the blood flow to their tender gums. I would bet that this is your problem. I know it's really hard to listen to your baby cry, sometimes I can't help but go in and cuddle with him.

He might also we going through a growth spurt.

What you just described is exactly what happens with us - I could have written that post! I think my little one is just one month older than your little guy - she's 9 1/2 months now. For one month straight, my daughter was horrible with constantly waking up and crying like crazy. Like you said, it was like clockwork - almost one hour exactly after we put her down she was up and wanting to come back out because she thought she had just had a nap or something...then again two hours later, and again two hours after that, and so on. Some nights it would be as simple as giving her the binky that fell out, but it got to the point that most nights, WOW it was screaming crying like she was in pain just like you said and there was no comforting her. As soon as she was calm and I put her back down, she was screaming again. It was so stressful that I thought it was going to tip me over the edge after a month of it...not only did I feel terrible for my daughter, but I was going out of my mind because I had zero time for myself because my whole night was going back and forth to her room. I agree with the previous poster - it probably is teeth related. My husband was going nuts because I would go in each time she was really crying to rock her (because like you said, just walking in and trying to comfort her in her crib made things worse!) - he wanted me to let her cry, but I kind of knew it was a cry for a reason, so I didn't. It took a lot of time, some motrin and for the tooth to finally pop through for there to be a difference in her sleep pattern again. It never completely stopped until that happened. Only problem was, once the tooth came through, she was in the habit of waking up a lot, so that took some time to work through as well - but it's easier at that point because they aren't so unhappy. She now goes down at 6:30-7:00 and wakes up around 11pm for another bottle and then sleeps until 4am. I've just started cutting out that bottle at 4am because like your son, my daughter was waking for that bottle so the last three nights, I've let her cry/whine at 4am and she is back asleep in 5 to 10 minutes until 6:30ish. Again, I could not have done this during the time when she was miserable because it would have set her even more over the edge. ...and I do have a small nightlight in there for when she wakes up too. I'm sure within the next month, we'll be right back there again as more teeth come in :) ...but for now, we're happy.

Sorry this is so very long, but don't think you're not doing something right or you are not consistent enough because I made myself CRAZY every single night trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and feeling really horrible about it until I finally realized it was just a stage she was going through with her teeth. I'm glad I comforted her during those nights because it was obviously pain related. Hang in there...it eventually gets better again. :angel:

Hey thanks so much for the replies! It makes me feel a lot better to know that others are (or have) gone through the same thing! Even though I know it's terrible.... I just hate listening to him cry in there! Anyway, I think that dh and I came to the conclusion that for as long as this little habit continues, we will just consider that another short nap before he goes to bed for good. Last night we did end up bringing him out (after almost an hour of crying), and when dh put him to bed again about 45 minutes later, he went down just fine and dandy, and then slept until about 7:30 this morning, woke up for a bottle, then slept until about 10. The thing that I'm not liking about this is that although it's great for me to catch up on some sleep in time, I don't really like him getting into the habit of sleeping late (today it was 10, and yesterday it was 10:30!). But like you ladies said, it could very likely be related to teething so I'll just wait it out... His 1st molars are the next thing to come in, so I presume we'll be in for some fun times.... :dizzy:

Whiskers ;)

yeah.... definitely sounds like teething. when a baby is lying flat, the rush of blood to his little gums makes teething pain so much worse, so bedtime is the worst time for teething babies! when you are putting him to bed, put his mattress at an incline and give him teething tablets at the same time you give him motrin. during the day, give him lots of things to chew on.... biter biscuits and zwieback toast are great (just don't leave him alone with them as the pieces can break off and become choking hazards!), and of course the cold teething toys and stuff are good too. use a finger toothbrush to massage his gums regularly, which will help soothe his gums too.

as far as night time wakings, you could try giving him teething tablets right when he wakes up (and tylenol or motrin if it's time), then hold him for a minute (make sure his diaper is dry) while the tablets kick in, and then put him back in bed and if he cries after that, you really can let him cry it out because then he's had his tablets/medicine and shouldn't be hurting and the crying is more out of habit than pain.... does that make sense?

anyway.... hope this helps!

Hi,

The stages my little guy goes through with sleeping can be exhausting sometimes and I have realized that he is teeting everytime. He is 16 months now and went through this about 3 weeks ago. He would wake up screaming, one night it was I believe 6 times in that night he kept waking up. I either lay down on the floor beside him or sit and hold his hand until he falls asleep again. I think all babies will go through this but you do what works for you.