Hi

I am a mum in Australia and I have two beautiful boys with their own special needs. My eldest son is 71/2 and has a language disorder, normal IQ, but with an integration aide and doing well in school. My other son, nearly 4, was diagnosed with mild-moderate autism in September 07. Just want to know if anyone experiences the roller-coaster ride of one day feeling like you are grieving and the next feeling OK and knowing that everything will work out the way it is supposed to! I feel that he is special and unique and no one child is the same. I hate the "Label" and I hate it when people with "normal" children say to me "he'll be fine" because I feel like they just dismiss all the feelings I have, but then again I have to understand they aren't in my shoes! He is placid, gentle, happy and sweet, just mainly has no eye contact, non-verbal and not interested in other children at daycare. He is affectionate though and happy and I just thank every day for the fact that he is here, even though he is a little different and "challenged". He is my little angel and I feel that he is here to teach me something (on my good days) and that he chose me to live this life of his, come what may. The fear of what he will be like as an adult is the scariest thing, will he be OK, will he function ok without me or will he need care all his life, but you know life is uncertain for all of us anyway, we don't know what is ahead for any of us. Love them unconditionally, believe in them and know that they are special souls and they are beautiful, not everyone is the same. Celebrate their strengths, work on their weaknesses and rejoice that you have a beautiful, special unique child! I would rather have this than nothing at all. He has taught me love, patience, understanding, tolerance, acceptance... what better teacher could I have, don't underestimate these quiet souls.. they know more than we do I think.

Take care and love these special children

Rose 67 - far away in Oz, anyone out there is Australia too??

I agree w/ you 1000%!!!! I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for my son. Actually, if it weren't for all 3 of my boys. Roller Coaster is RIGHT!

I read your post and felt like I was understood. After my son was dignosed, we came home from the appointment and a neighbor said..."well, does he have it?" Like I wasn't sure...as his MOTHER....that I waited the 8 months for the appointment wondering if it were normal to be speechless at 3 and find his shadow or reflection in ANYTHING, and not look me in the eye or call me mom. The "it will be fine" comment is -to me- someone just not knowing what else to say. We are a unique group that I am PROUD to be a part of.

These children are super-special you're right. My son is 6 w/ moderate autism. Yours is four, and I can remember four....lifetime ago!!!! I have a 7 1/2 year old NT boy and an almost 3 son with minor speech delay. Dr. said he's PDD NOS, but he isn't....my gut feeling...

One cute thing , my son calls me "Mommy's home". Doesn't call me mom. He calls me 'Mommy's home". And after years of NOT being called anything by him....when he says to me-"Goonight mommy's home" I MELT!!!!!! I'm a stay at home mom so I'm ALWAYS here. So when I get to (By the grace of my husband ) go to the store alone, I'll come hom and he says "MOmmy's Home!!" and it just stuck for him to always call me that. It's the sweetest thing after a few years of feeling like I was just a fixture or tool for him. Now I have a TITLE!!!!!

I'm in Seattle Washington...rain and cold....can I have your weather please!!!

Dear Rose67
You have just described me and my little sweetie to a T!
It's amazing that everything you said was absolutley me! My little boy was diagnosed 3years ago - at first I felt bereaved, that someone had taken him and given me a label.Thankfully that passes, and then...well life is just as you describe it!
Another friend said that if there was an instant 'cure' available she wouldn't really want to give it to her little one as he wouldn't then be him. she is sooo right. We are facing scary futures, what will happen when we get too old and they haven't managed to become independent (realistically my little fellow will be with me always), but even so, he's perfect as he is. we laugh so much, he lights up our lives. Oh sure, there are the days from hell when you hit the depths, but these days not so many.
You've given me a real lift ! Thanks.:)