My Dad passed away on thurs have never seen a dead person before let alone a person dyin now i can say i never wanna see it again. Have blocked the last image i have of him because it was 2 hard to deal with now i can't remember at all.......have repressed my feelings because im a single Mum and fear a breakdown i suffer manic depression have so for years and only went off my meds the week before.
Not sure what my question really is i guess i wanna know if it's not healthy 2 lock things away. His funeral is in 2 days and i fear a breakdown after that 2 . Can any1 offer any suggestions on what i should do?

You have a long road ahead of you my dear, It's hard loosing someone close to you, my fahter died 7 years ago and I still think of him eveyday, He will always be a part of me in my heart and sole. Once the funeral is done, you realize the last few days are a blur, I truly belive that it's a form of shock, You must take care of yourself during all of this, very important to take your meds, my mother inlaw suffers from manic depression, so I due understand the importance of taking your medication and keeping that med level. You do have a long road ahead of you dealing with the lose of your father, take one day at a time, somedays will be much harder than others. I miss my fahter so much but I know he is in a better place now and he is not sick anymore. I'm so sorry for your lose.
Karen:angel:

I can only say I am sorry for what you are going through. It is hard to loose our parents. I can tell you this will get better but it will take time. I do want to say too that it is good for you to allow yourself to feel the pain so you can start to heal. Make yourself a little place at your house that you can go to 'talk' to dad...maybe a photo, sweater or whatever...for me it is my dads hunting/fishing napsack and a few other things of his and his picture. That was a couple years ago and I now can remember the good times without crying but it is ok to cry...maybe you will need a few days to cry. It is so different for everyone. I just know that you have to allow yourself to feel.

well i went off my meds cause i was sick of bein dependent on then don't have any more scripts... don't think i wanna go somewhere and cry cause i end up furious and im scared of what or who might get hurt. Tryin not to take it out on the kids but they really got to me 2day just couldn't behave and i ended up screamin the house down. My Dad was the only person in my family i loved with all my heart i love the rest but not like him he was always special.. it kills me that he didn't tell me things he told my bro and sis but not me cause he didn't wanna upset me see i have severe heart failure aswell but now im just mad that he didn't talk to me... im not involved in anythin to do with ahy of it and it's gettin me furious
i sound like a spoilt brat but god i don't wanna be shut out cause im the weak one it's not fair

Dear Suz,

About a year and a half ago, I lost my mother. Like you, I remember the image of her in that hospital bed, and that image haunts me. I want you to know that what you are experiencing is about as wrecking as it gets, so please be patient and gentle with yourself. Give it time.

I think it's especially hard to lose a parent. They were our protectors. No wwho is here to protect us? Even when we fought with them, it comforted us, for they were there to fight with.

Give yourself time. The pain will not go away entirely but life will help you fit the memories into a comfortable and comforting space.

While you regain perspective this year ---it will take a year--continue to reach out to good ears, wherever they are. During my recovery, I spent a lot of time reading posts like these and articles on health.

Best of luck to you in your recovery year.

a year i can't handle a year.....im really mad feel like punchin somethin think i may have to invest in a punching bag. he was the most loved person to me and i can't accept that he is gone i can't see the image anymore i have blocked it i want to see it again cause then it will be real again im only 28 he was only 59 i can't deal with it i feel like a child and i have children of my own to raie.....alone

I know its hard
I lost my Grandma Three Weeks ago Due to Cancer it started as breast cancer went to over 7 diffrent places.
I said to myself I wonder how would i live with out some one i loved so much in my family. I said i would go insane probablly snappin at other people.

Thought how much hate would be in me. I started thinking to myself she was the first to tell me she felt an lump in her chest I said dont worry about it left it at that. In my mind after she died That day came and started to hunt me and it still does. But you have thoughts that lie to you all the time. Its not your fault this is what happens to you its call life Eventually Nothing last forever. You Hear about Babies being born all the time and people dieing all the time. In my mind i wish life was more easier but god made it this way. Hardest thing to do either beleive or dont beleive be weak or be strong. I ask this man who lost his father and mother. I said how do you get over it. He Said you dont. And now I know how this feels to me he is right You dont get over it.

Hope this helps