Fortunatly, I believe that no matter how desperate I
become, I will not have
the courage to take my life. I am just getting so
desperate. The condition I
am suffering from is a type that is not taken seriously
enough by the
medical community. I was appalled by the reaction of the
first two ENT's I
visited. One told me that, "There is nothing wrong with
your ear." and that
it is up to me to recover. The ENT I am presently seeing
now believes that
it is not necessarly the eustachian tube that is causing
all my grief, but
the whole ear, nose and throat area. Regular exam indicates
normal hearing
and supposedly normal pressure on the ear drum. It feels
like the nerves in
my eustachian tube and ear are damaged and not working
properly. Sometimes,
they feel dormant, with my ear feeling full and plugged.
Other times, they
function erratically, causing my ear to crackle, twitch,
thump or pop. It is
the later symptom that is driving me insane. From my
experience, the ear and
face is the worst place for tolerating pain and discomfort.
Once, I busted
the ball of my foot. Even though the pain was severe, I was
still able to
manage and enjoy two camping trips and my job building
aircraft. This ear
problem is so maddening that I can't do or enjoy anything.
It is either
tormenting me or feels like it can act up any momment. Once
in a while, it
has felt less congested, like it is healing, but then it
gets worse again.
That is the only hope I have now. If it has gotten better
for a few hours
once a week, maybe it will eventually go back to normal for
good. Thank you
for your concern and support.

I am glad to hear Nathan that you are coping. I too am driven crazy by the constant crackling, and popping in my ears, mostly my left. I had drainage tubes put in 8 days ago and they are driving me crazy. In fact, my ears got to the point where they were doing pretty good and only crackled during a pressure change. Now they do it constantly again. I wonder if there is trauma to the Eustachean tubes when these drain tubes were put in. I am going back to the ENT next Thursday to talk to him. I don't want to go through this all over again. I have been dealing with this since 1993 and thought I was coping pretty well. Now I am sorry I had this done because it has created trauma and everything is acting up again. I cannot stand the crackling and popping constantly. It feels like worms are crawling around in my ears. Perhaps it is nerve damage. I'll have to ask the doctor next week. I have pain in the back of my neck now too because of the tubes. Maybe I was better off without them. Even if I have them removed, there is nothing that will guarantee the crackling will stop. It will probably takes weeks or months again to have it subside to a minmal amount - maybe never. I hate to think I'll have to live like this for the rest of my life.

Are your now working once again?


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This fall, I am going to enroll as an independant student at Concordia University. I am very concerned about how the constant discomfort and torment from my eustachian tube can affect my concentration. It is so imposible to ignore. Whatever activity I am doing keeps getting spoiled by it. That's how I wound up losing my job. Twice after my injury, I tried going back to work, only to have the symptoms worsen and ruin my concentration. (I worked in a noisy environment). Then, they wanted THEIR doctor to examine me to see what was wrong. I knew where that was going so rather than be fired for truancy, I voluntarly quit. Then, with support of my family, I decided to attend university, assuming that I would be 80% better by this fall. Sadly, it feels like I won't be better this fall. I hope I will find the willpower to function as a student. This will also be my first time taking university courses. I am so lucky to have a loving, caring family who is there for me.