I am 19, I have an 11 months old son with my boyfriend. He is constantly angry! He just loses control over the stupidest things all of the time. He is a good dad and can be a good person but I dont think I can deal with this anymore. One time in a fit of rage he demanded that I hand him our 1 month old son who I was holding, and I obviously refused to hand him over and tried to walk away but he whipped him by the arm out of my hands. It really scared me. I'm young and trying to do the best I can for my baby but I feel lost and confused. Plz help!

I am sorry. Yes, it sounds like he could hurt your baby when he is angry because he reacts without thinking. There are many injured children out there because of an adult like this (and dead ones too). Can you talk to your family or his family about this?

you don't need this.....you can live just fine without the abuse. You're much too young to go down this road.....don't get any deeper. Get out now, you will be glad you did.
:angel:

Sweety, my boyfriend and I both have anger mangement problems. And believe it or not, it is hereditary. I would never tell someone to block out the father, specailly with a child that young. Before you up and leave try suggesting help. My boyfriend and I both take Anger Management Classes. and they do help, if the person is interested in helping themselves.

Thx for the advice! I try every day to get him to get some help for himself, and for us to get counselling together, but he wont do it. He is a really good dad, him and my son have so much fun together. I just cant forget alot of the bad things that have happened and Im scared of what could happen if he doesnt get it under control.

Thx for the advice! I try every day to get him to get some help for himself, and for us to get counselling together, but he wont do it. He is a really good dad, him and my son have so much fun together. I just cant forget alot of the bad things that have happened and Im scared of what could happen if he doesnt get it under control.

he's not willing to go, so what are YOU going to do? are you going to just go along with the flow and wait for the next INCIDENT? I doubt if he's that great of a dad. You're making excuses for him......now what?

You need to leave ASAP!!!! Go get some help from family/friends!! This guy is
dangerous and it scares me just reading your post. PLEASE, you have a baby to think about too! Let your family/friends know this is happening and make sure you do not go somewhere alone...
Do not wait and think he will change. Please get to a safe place!!!

I know you won't want to hear this, but I've been down that road myself. You've got to listen to what these posters are saying and suggesting. Your situation sounds so familiar to me with the situation I just left 2 months ago. It's not going to get better, it's going to get worse. He's not wanting to do counseling? That is an indication that he doesn't care to change. Abusers CHOOSE to abuse. If he cared about you or your son he wouldn't behave like this. Think about what this is doing to your son to watch. Do you want your son to grow up thinking that this is how a man treats a woman? Do you want him to seriously hurt your son? Or you? Do you want to live your life like this?

You need to do some serious soul searching and dig deep down to find out what you really want and what truly is best. If he's behaving like this and snatching your son, at 1 month old, out of your arms by his arm, what makes you think he's a good dad? You have to know, deep down, that if he's able to do this to his own flesh and blood, he's willing and quite able to stoop even lower. You are the ONLY one that's capable of protecting your innocent baby against this.

Please, for your son's sake and your own sake, do NOT wait for the next incident.

I think deep down I know that I have to leave, but its' like I keep telling myself that he will change...as stupid as it sounds. I feel like if I leave I'll have nobody, no money, no home. I just dont know if I can do it on my own. I know my son comes first, but if I thought he was in danger I would leave no questions asked. I just need to get my head on straight I guess...

I know what you mean about telling yourself he'll change. He won't change unless he gets help. What he's done when your son was young shows that he's in danger, as are you.

With my situation, I kept telling myself he'd change. He did. He changed for the worse. He started attacking and trying to kill my puppy, he tried to break my oldest daughter's back, he tried to bite my finger off ... I knew in my heart that my 3 yr old was the next one. When he wasn't able to hurt me emotionally any longer, before he started with the physical, he got his father involved. His father was involved to the point of threatening myself and my children bodily harm and death.

If you're afraid of how you'll be able to handle it on your own, don't be. Talk to your mom/dad/close friend(s) and get the emotional support from them. Tell them what's going on. Talk to victim services and they'll be able to either help directly or point you in the right direction to get help. Talk to Income Assistance (welfare/social services ... whatever they're called where you are), and they will be able to help. Whatever you do, do NOT let on to him that you are looking into these things of it could get worse for you and your son. Talk to your local police and see what they can do for you.