My 76 year old husband died Feb 1, 2008. He had been in three different nursing homes and three different syck wards since June 28 2007. I was wore out trying to keep him safe at home and try to get enough rest to exist and I just wore out. couldn't afford respet care, family too busy and too afraid to care for him. He wasn't one to take no for an answer and you had to be pretty quick to redirect. The Nursing Home experience was to me the worst night mare anyone could have. Alzheimers/dementia is one thing but sicho wards is another. I still have nightmares. The guilt of him having to be in any facility and now he is gone is drowning me. I can't go to sleep at night the memories over welm me. I take anxiety medication(paxil) and adavan only when I can't go to sleep at all or I can't stop crying. We were togeather always, 29 years, we neither one worked, he broke his back in 1980 and was on disability, and I never worked outside the home. Will this guilt and terror of being alone go away?

Hi I'm sorry you are going through this, I don't have experience in this but all I can tell you is the time heals. I know it must be hard not having him around anymore and I am sorry for that. But you have to start thinking about you now, try to be healthy and try to distract yourself by spending time with family, the worst thing to do is to be alone and not want to see anybody.
Wish you all the luck.

Thank you so much for your kind words. i am going to go to grief counseling, I know it just takes tome.
God Blessyou