Hi everyone,

I'm also pretty new to the board and I didn't come here about anger management or anything, I actually came here to find out about the symptoms I have been having lately.

Well, I figure seeing this has kind of made me feel like I need to come clean a little.

For years I have denied having anger issues and any chance I can I still deny it. Even sitting here, I can still try to justify everything I do and everything I say that is obviously out of line.

My Fiancee and I have been together almost 2 years and we have a child that I got pregnant with only 3 months after meeting him. Now with my daughter I feel sometimes that I really need to take care of my end of this problem and not worry about the things that others do to set me off.

Most people in my family and my close friends know that I have an anger problem but would never actually come to me and say anything about it.. but, I have heard them talk behind my back about it.

I have treated my Daughter's Father horribly ever since I got pregnant. I mean he has actually stabbed himself in the neck with a fork (repeatedly) before to get me to get off his case.. Strange. I think that is when I really realized how much of a problem my anger can be. Surprisingly, I have told him to leave over and over again, told him I wasn't in love with him, that I even hate him and HE WILL NOT LEAVE! I have no idea why he won't leave but I think in a strange way instead of making me want to treat him better, it actually makes me feel validated.

There are a lot of times during the day that I put my anger in check and hold back on what I really want to say and what I really want to do. Instead of feeling good about being able to control myself, it makes me even more angry and makes my next blow up so much worse.

I don't understand these kinds of feelings even though I have them and I guess I am hoping for a little advice on how I can start controlling it and not lashing out about it afterwards.

Hi Daze, so you have always been an angry person? Do you have any ideas why?

I wouldn't say that I have always been this angry of a person. It didn't start to get this extreme until last year. But, I've had my episodes in the past as well, but seemed to be able to hold back a little longer before blowing up.

If anything I think it may just be in my genes. My parents both have tempers but my moms has been the worst really. If not through genes then just seeing other people be so angry all the time.

Hi Daze, so you have had more difficulty with anger since your daughter was born? Do you remember being angry as a child? What made you angry as a child?

I wouldn't say that I was outwardly angry as a child, that wouldn't have been smart in my house. But, I did get into a lot of fights outside of the home. I think more than anything my parents made me angry... Favoritism in the house, someone always screaming, violent arguments, very strict punishments, ect.

my parents made me angry... Favoritism in the house, someone always screaming, violent arguments, very strict punishments, ect.

This would make anyone angry. It sounds unjust. You say that you weren't outwardly angry because that wouldn't have been smart. Would you have been punished for showing anger? Ouch! Swallowed anger is not good. I think that if you take the time to acknowledge your anger that it would help you to unload it. And by the way, I wouldn't suggest trying to get your parents to agree that they caused you a lot of this trouble. It would probably cause you more grief than what it would be worth. Not many parents admit their mistakes. You only need your acknowledgement not theirs anyway.

Ha! Oh believe me, I have went down the road of needing acknowledgment and have learned that road leads to nowhere.

Thank you for your response. It has been helpful.

I am in the process of working on my coping skills and still looking for that one thing that can get me through the day. :)

Good luck to you Daze. If you need an ear I'll be here.

Thanks Sannah. That's definitely appreciated.:)