I've been wondering lately what happens to our kids when they get older? Do they continue to have the same facinations and will they need constant supervision and support for the rest of their lives. Does depression become a factor? What can we expect?:confused:

there is no answer to this question. there are no two children (on the spectrum) that are alike. we take it day by day and do our best to help our son be as independant a functional member of society as he can. (he is still a young child so i don't know how independant he will be in the future.)

i learned early on that professionals have no idea what the future holds, so we just celebrate every obstacle my son overcomes.

My son is 11. While he has "grown out of" certain behaviors, it appears that he grows into another. I try and remain positive about his future because none of us are certain what our own future holds. My constant prayer and hope is that others will treat him as special as I :).

My son is 16 and has come miles and miles from where he was. He changes everyday just like NT kids. There is no way to measure how far they will go. My son has leveled off a lot of his " quirks" and at most times acts like a typical moody teenager. He talks about driving but has yet to pick up the manual and read it. He has a girlfriend. Things are good, NOT great but good.

I worry what will happen when this relationship ends, but who hasnt gotten their heart broken.

It is a day by day learning process.

I read all the replies to this posting hoping that someone was going to say 'yes, when they grow older they are able to care for themselves and be independent'!
That's all I want, for my little boy to be safe as an adult when we are no longer here to protect him.

As parents of autistic children we are often so engaged in worries of the present.Dealing with the present in regards to age,milestones,school...special ed classes,IEP,speech,occupational therapy,peers etc...
We research and research any avenues to help our autistic child communicate better,to learn....To understand why and how he or she views the world as they do.To be there and love them to any extent we are allowed to break through.And then before we blink an eye they are 18,19,20.

There is such a spectrum as others here have stated.At 4 he finally spoke.
He feared vacumn cleaners and later became obsessed with them.He would not poop in a toilet until age 6.Now he laughs about stories of how he was about that.
Yet routine has always been of great importance.And still is.If the plans change he has a hard time coping..even now at 18.He can get angry and frustrated.It is very scary now...as he is 5'10 and 170.He could seriously hurt someone.He graduated with honors may 07 with a special ED diploma.
We are so proud of him.He attended H.S prom.He excelled so much over the yrs.Yet...he is not like most 18 yr old boys.He is at the 5th grade level in most things...and the 2nd grade level at math.His heart and sense of humor can't be measured because they are both endless.

Throughout his H.S school yrs we were told of a wonderful short term program he could attend after graduation.It was kind of like a college...he would live there and recieve job training ,counseling etc...The program had much to offer.He would be there approx a yr.We visited there and he was so excited.He could come home weekends and holidays etc...Two other kids that graduated a yr before him had gone through the program.We were told they did have a waiting list.....however you had to apply through the voc rehab after graduation.We did so right away.
He graduated may 07 and Feb 08 we recieved a denial letter for admission.
We were shocked.He was denied because they felt he required more supervision than the staff there could allow.
Why did it take 9 months to determine this?The Voc Rehab appealed on my request.It was denied.I called the school myself...it did no good.
I was told by a special ed teacher that the program was being restructured and alot of changes were being made.....unfortunately not to my sons benefit!

The Voc Rehab set up a meeting with us to explore other "options"!
This basically fell into the ticket to work program.My son could work at Zaxbys (a fast food chicken eatery).The least weekly he could work would be 25 hrs.The days, evenings or hours per day would be based on the need of the establishment.AND...the parents would have to provide the transportation to and from work!
Besides the fact that I am myself disabled...we live 20 min away from town.That would be 40 min both ways at $3.40 a gallon of gas.
Gee seems they have his best interest at heart uh??

The other options are....we apply for him to attend a daycare support faculity.He would make friends...have a routine...learn..do some work etc..go on field trips which he loves...We are now submitting the paperwork for this..and are told there is a waiting list.This falls under what they call a waiver.Which from what I researched can be a GOOD thing.
Other option...he goes back to school until age 21!

The IDEA act makes provisions for disabled kids to be educated through the public schools until age 21.YET......I have been told that once a child graduates with a special ed diploma that they can only go back to HS to recieve a regular HS diploma.There is no way my son could survive in regular mainstream classes.I am still looking into the laws regarding this.
Kinda funny how know one at the H.S has contacted me with a concrete answer.
My best advice at this point is regardless of the milestones...use your rights to get your children educated until they reach 21!There is never too much education!They can always learn!
The deciding factors of what will happen when we are gone...set up special trusts...sign a waiver...A waiver will make a difference in your child as an adult between being put in a home....or having assisted living.
Our hearts are heavy.Options are sometimes based on finance.But as all of you know we are all blessed....who better to experience this than ourselves?MB

I am autistic, Asperger's is what I have. As my personal opinion being autistic, it really depends how much the parents put into our future. My parents got me on SSI and recently SSD (mom is payee). So I dont have to worry about what happens if I dont have a job. I am an adult now, and when I turned 18 my parents got me into an organization that is for adults with disabilities that is apart of government. The organization I am in, is funded and I have a caregiver through them too to assist in the "extra" help that I need. In high school, my parents put me in a program called "Apartment Transition Program". It was a half day thing every day, and it taught me how to cook, clean, budget, plan meals, shop, and as you progressed you started staying the night alone there. A way to ease into living on own. Sure, I'm paranoid about some things about living on my own, but I can deal with it now. I have some friends that are worse than me, but their parents never pushed them to be better or take the time to teach them like mine did. There are options, you just got to do it. My parents wanted me taken care of as an adult, and when they are gone..and I am because of all the work and time and effort and money they put into teaching me how to live independently. I even know people that have live in caregivers in their own apartment. Just something for parents to think about. Hope my story of what mom and dad did for me helps someone here.

I am autistic, Asperger's is what I have. As my personal opinion being autistic, it really depends how much the parents put into our future. My parents got me on SSI and recently SSD (mom is payee). So I dont have to worry about what happens if I dont have a job. I am an adult now, and when I turned 18 my parents got me into an organization that is for adults with disabilities that is apart of government. The organization I am in, is funded and I have a caregiver through them too to assist in the "extra" help that I need. In high school, my parents put me in a program called "Apartment Transition Program". It was a half day thing every day, and it taught me how to cook, clean, budget, plan meals, shop, and as you progressed you started staying the night alone there. A way to ease into living on own. Sure, I'm paranoid about some things about living on my own, but I can deal with it now. I have some friends that are worse than me, but their parents never pushed them to be better or take the time to teach them like mine did. There are options, you just got to do it. My parents wanted me taken care of as an adult, and when they are gone..and I am because of all the work and time and effort and money they put into teaching me how to live independently. I even know people that have live in caregivers in their own apartment. Just something for parents to think about. Hope my story of what mom and dad did for me helps someone here.

That is so great ! It is nice to hear when something is going good. It sounds like you and your parents are doing a great job. My son is 16 and I do feel like I maybe baby him too much, well I baby all my kids. It is natural I think as a mother to want to be there and help, not always the best decision though. I am going to work on teaching my son over the summer some self help skills. Cleaning, washing, shopping etc. I did have SSI for my son when he was little. I have not looked into it forever. They took it away when I got a divorce and child support stating my son now had an income with the child support. This was when he was 4-7 yrs old. I never went back and looked into it again. Something to think about I guess.

Good luck to you :)

I admire you so much Monkey and am proud of your accomplishments.You are such a inspiration. Your parents sound wonderful as well.It is comforting to know you have their support...but as you said...they will not live forever.. And it is awesome that they have helped with the future..
My son can do alot for himself.I taught him yrs ago how to cook,do laundry,fold clothes,hang clothes,bath shower,shave etc...and he does so well!
He can do alot of things I can't.His heart,soul and humor is priceless.He is such a handsome fellow that I believe people are sometimes taken aback when they discover he communicates differently.Or that certain things disturb him.
I agree with you that parents should do everything to treat any disabled child just as they would a child who is not...to an extent.My son had a special ed teacher that gave him alot of assignments.He got frustrated.Yet she challenged his mind...And that was wonderful!
In H.S his teacher didn't push him enough....she was supportive..yet made things too easy for him.
So there can be a fine line to be drawn.At school and at home.
Resourses also differ.The program you attended sounds awesome.Nothing like that was an available option for my son and he gets SSI.Sometimes I think it depends on the State ,funding,or politics.
I did find out he can go back to HS even afer recieving a special ED graduation diploma at age 18.He can attend until he is age 21...and STILL recieve special ED!
The teachers made it sound like that was not so.But it is!
So I will pray for you and my dear son.MB