jlbrow7
03-05-2008, 01:37 PM
I am 51 and I am soon (within months) headed for LTD and SSDI; i.e., a permanent furlough.
My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?
Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.
Is anyone else struggling with this?
My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?
Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.
Is anyone else struggling with this?
Sponsor
Barbbelle
03-06-2008, 09:36 AM
Hi!
I retired 4 yrs ago from my beloved job and I was lost not really knowing who i was without the title of my profession. I am 50 now and we had just bought the farm of our dreams and were hoping that i could work to help support our dream. Well, life happens and we are still in our house by the grace of God. I was pretty sad about retiring for a while, but as time went by I realized what I was missing while I was giving all of my energy to my job. I now help my church by doing their website (which I had to figure out how to do) and I was always curious about stained glass...so I took a class. I also can see my elderly parents more often and my kids (who are in college) get more time with me when they are available. My energy level is really low and I am grateful that i can rest more often.
As far as where you live, you and your husband need to decide what works for both of you. I wouldn't make any fast decisions that you have to live with. Figure out your finances and make a decision based on that, what you two like to do together, weather, etc. my husband & I have been married for 26 yrs...high school sweethearts and we are still trying to figure out what we can do together. We were always very athletic together. I have alot of difficulties walking and so that is challenging.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Best of luck to you and just take one day at a time and you will be fine!
Have a glorious day!
barb
I retired 4 yrs ago from my beloved job and I was lost not really knowing who i was without the title of my profession. I am 50 now and we had just bought the farm of our dreams and were hoping that i could work to help support our dream. Well, life happens and we are still in our house by the grace of God. I was pretty sad about retiring for a while, but as time went by I realized what I was missing while I was giving all of my energy to my job. I now help my church by doing their website (which I had to figure out how to do) and I was always curious about stained glass...so I took a class. I also can see my elderly parents more often and my kids (who are in college) get more time with me when they are available. My energy level is really low and I am grateful that i can rest more often.
As far as where you live, you and your husband need to decide what works for both of you. I wouldn't make any fast decisions that you have to live with. Figure out your finances and make a decision based on that, what you two like to do together, weather, etc. my husband & I have been married for 26 yrs...high school sweethearts and we are still trying to figure out what we can do together. We were always very athletic together. I have alot of difficulties walking and so that is challenging.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Best of luck to you and just take one day at a time and you will be fine!
Have a glorious day!
barb
limpster
03-06-2008, 10:01 AM
I know pretty much how you are feeling. I unfortunately had to "retire" last february. SSDI:(
I loved my job but because of my MS I was no longer able to do it safely.
I am 46 yrs old and my husband and I dreamed of a wonderful retirement.
That has changed. We are still hoping to persue are dream of a little chalet on the river, but I'm just not going to have the ACTIVE lifestyle we were hoping for.
As another poster wrote it is "One day at a time". Hopefully everything will work out for you.
You will find your new normal like I did. All my friends work so I volunteer 1 day a month at my church's food pantry and I do water exercises at the close high school.
The nice part of "retirement" is when you are tired you can take a nap:)
I loved my job but because of my MS I was no longer able to do it safely.
I am 46 yrs old and my husband and I dreamed of a wonderful retirement.
That has changed. We are still hoping to persue are dream of a little chalet on the river, but I'm just not going to have the ACTIVE lifestyle we were hoping for.
As another poster wrote it is "One day at a time". Hopefully everything will work out for you.
You will find your new normal like I did. All my friends work so I volunteer 1 day a month at my church's food pantry and I do water exercises at the close high school.
The nice part of "retirement" is when you are tired you can take a nap:)
jlbrow7
03-06-2008, 04:55 PM
Thanks everyone!
I am alot more upbeat today and the future seems bright. I thank God for the Internet b/c I can barely walk and I stay very interested in things online.
There are so many opportunities and now I can sleep whenever I want! ;)
You are all tremendous!!!
I am alot more upbeat today and the future seems bright. I thank God for the Internet b/c I can barely walk and I stay very interested in things online.
There are so many opportunities and now I can sleep whenever I want! ;)
You are all tremendous!!!
MSJayhawk
03-06-2008, 07:52 PM
I am 51 and I am soon (within months) headed for LTD and SSDI; i.e., a permanent furlough.
My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?
Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.
Is anyone else struggling with this?
I hear you loud and clear. I would never settle in a retirement community because disability for me is no retirement. For me, I have my two sons to see through college and then I will busy myself on my better days. Disability, to me, is a badge I can wear in public and encourage others. A retirement community can be good, but I enjoy a mix of community.
Once you have made the leap to disability, take a month off and plan your goals. When I finally made the leap, I washed and cleaned my business dress clothes and dropped them off at the homeless shelter. I also gave away my watches and business shoes. In my "retirement" I dress in pullover shirts (no buttons), jeans, and my high top sneakers.
Turning off the alarm clock does wondrously lower stress. My service dog is my alarm clock. He will nudge me when he needs to go out. I still arise in time to start daily home school lessons, but I also have time to rest when I need rest.
I congratulate your leap- or power chair roll- into retirement. I have "existed" here in "disability world" since 2002. I have NO REGRETS!!:D:D:D:angel::angel::angel:
My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?
Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.
Is anyone else struggling with this?
I hear you loud and clear. I would never settle in a retirement community because disability for me is no retirement. For me, I have my two sons to see through college and then I will busy myself on my better days. Disability, to me, is a badge I can wear in public and encourage others. A retirement community can be good, but I enjoy a mix of community.
Once you have made the leap to disability, take a month off and plan your goals. When I finally made the leap, I washed and cleaned my business dress clothes and dropped them off at the homeless shelter. I also gave away my watches and business shoes. In my "retirement" I dress in pullover shirts (no buttons), jeans, and my high top sneakers.
Turning off the alarm clock does wondrously lower stress. My service dog is my alarm clock. He will nudge me when he needs to go out. I still arise in time to start daily home school lessons, but I also have time to rest when I need rest.
I congratulate your leap- or power chair roll- into retirement. I have "existed" here in "disability world" since 2002. I have NO REGRETS!!:D:D:D:angel::angel::angel:
jlbrow7
03-07-2008, 03:20 PM
Blue jeans every day!
taosdaphne
03-11-2008, 03:20 PM
I'm almost 55, and am working 1/2 time over the internet (I'm a professor) and officially retiring in May. My parttner is 15 years older and had already bought into this *greaT* progressive care community because she too has an autoimmune disease (vasculitis), was single at the time, and knew she would need care in the future. She made it possible (she;s an ex-CEO of a publishing company) to by in as well, and this was before the MS diagnosis but while I knew I was pretty sick and didn't want to be 2000 miles away. So I haven't quite retired--can't afford to. This is an expensive place, and I had 15 years less of savings than I had counted on, so money is tight. But we still want to travel while we both can, and we'll find a way financially. Bought an RV and plan to roam the country, so long as I can manage high-speed internet from somewhere.
I think it's tough to retire anyway, but even tougher when you are frced into it by health or other circumstances. We don't realize how much we define ourselves by our work until it's gone. I LOVE teaching, and turns out I *really* like internet teaching--but I'm also a poet living in a town filled with writers and artists, and am gradually worming myself into that community. And I'm playing piano again (badly) after 25 years or so, and there's a new horse in our lives I think I'll eventually be able to ride--but all of this took a year to figure out.
So good luck to you and your husband! Oh, and you can still be physically active--google "handicapped vacations". It's amazing what's out there.
Daphne
I think it's tough to retire anyway, but even tougher when you are frced into it by health or other circumstances. We don't realize how much we define ourselves by our work until it's gone. I LOVE teaching, and turns out I *really* like internet teaching--but I'm also a poet living in a town filled with writers and artists, and am gradually worming myself into that community. And I'm playing piano again (badly) after 25 years or so, and there's a new horse in our lives I think I'll eventually be able to ride--but all of this took a year to figure out.
So good luck to you and your husband! Oh, and you can still be physically active--google "handicapped vacations". It's amazing what's out there.
Daphne
jlbrow7
03-11-2008, 03:37 PM
It's great to see everyone's ideas.
I'm finding that I'm a Wall St. fanatic - I just love to follow the markets and with a computer there is nothing I can't do. I can't hear enough about it; ties in well with my love of news.
Keeps my brain active too. ;)
I'm finding that I'm a Wall St. fanatic - I just love to follow the markets and with a computer there is nothing I can't do. I can't hear enough about it; ties in well with my love of news.
Keeps my brain active too. ;)