zadie
03-05-2008, 05:43 PM
Had a terrible fight with my partner all I needed and wanted was to be held and for him to have some insight into this ms thing.He has had experience first hand with my dad. I have been married to this man for 18 years and yet all of a sudden his lack of character is beyond my belief. I can see now this is going to have a huge strain on my marriage he is not strong enough.Guess I dont need an answer just venting.
Michele
Michele
Sponsor
tawnyjade
03-06-2008, 10:59 AM
You go right ahead and vent!!!
My husband has no idea how truly awful I feel so much of the time. Somehow it doesn't show on the exterior of our bodies, and we tend to put on a good show of getting by.
If you figure out how to make him understand, please share with the rest of us!
Hang in there, honey! Vent away!
My husband has no idea how truly awful I feel so much of the time. Somehow it doesn't show on the exterior of our bodies, and we tend to put on a good show of getting by.
If you figure out how to make him understand, please share with the rest of us!
Hang in there, honey! Vent away!
Filipinone
03-06-2008, 02:13 PM
Zadie,
Please vent, because we all can understand.
I actually had my husband look at me strangely when I asked him just to "talk" to me while I was giving myself the avonex shot. A way to take my mind of the thought that I am putting a needle into my leg. And since he doesn't like the sight of needles he will came back with well what do you want to talk about? :mad: I just want a little distraction so I can inflict pain on myself. How hard is that to understand.
If they are not going though it, they won't understand.
I hope things get better.
Lisa
Please vent, because we all can understand.
I actually had my husband look at me strangely when I asked him just to "talk" to me while I was giving myself the avonex shot. A way to take my mind of the thought that I am putting a needle into my leg. And since he doesn't like the sight of needles he will came back with well what do you want to talk about? :mad: I just want a little distraction so I can inflict pain on myself. How hard is that to understand.
If they are not going though it, they won't understand.
I hope things get better.
Lisa
MS for life
03-06-2008, 03:17 PM
Funny, my husband went to the neurologist with me and everything. When they said I had MS, he was wonderful. Really took notice of my not feeling well. As soon as they said, well let's stay with maybe and keep looking to be sure we are dealing with MS, he acted like I was healed. Of course, I've been taking the stance, if no one in my house asks, I'm no longer complaining, because I've never been such a complainer before in my life. But just once, when I say no, I cannot walk upstairs to put you to bed tonight, I wish someone would understand that my feet are screaming, instead of acting like I'm being lazy.
Well, let's change the name of this thread to "Venting"
Well, let's change the name of this thread to "Venting"
MSJayhawk
03-06-2008, 03:56 PM
Your venting is understandable, but you need to moderate as your condition affects your emotional threshhold and may/may not be clear. Aussie males are more often than not less emotionally attune to women. Pray for the patience of Job.
My spouse compares my MS to others who are working. She is still learning. The entire MS life is a learning curve, not only for the person directly affected, but for those who surround us.
I will keep you in my prayers and hope that your guy will come through for you.
My spouse compares my MS to others who are working. She is still learning. The entire MS life is a learning curve, not only for the person directly affected, but for those who surround us.
I will keep you in my prayers and hope that your guy will come through for you.
jlbrow7
03-06-2008, 04:48 PM
It's so hard to do, but try to remember how linear or task-oriented men are. You have to be specific re what you want or need. That's how they function.
Saying the words "talk to me" confuses most of them. You'll need to explain why and then I'll bet he comes through for you.
He's been there for you for years; don't give up. He is as frustrated and mad as you are. ;)
Saying the words "talk to me" confuses most of them. You'll need to explain why and then I'll bet he comes through for you.
He's been there for you for years; don't give up. He is as frustrated and mad as you are. ;)
painsucks
03-06-2008, 05:32 PM
This may be strange to say, but this thread is exactly what I needed today! My husband seems to be in denial regarding my MS and I've been battling it since 1996, you think he'd get it by now. He's the kind of person that thinks if you don't talk about something it will go away. Guess what honey, this ain't goin' away! Bottom line, I think he is scared and angry, but maybe if he would talk to me about what's going on with my body, he might not be as scared or as angry. Anyway, it helps me to know that I'm not the only one that has a spouse that seems not to care. I know he cares, he just doesn't show it in a way that I would like him to!
zadie
03-06-2008, 06:39 PM
thanks for the advise but Aussie males are just the same as any other males around the world you may have a stero type in your mind but thats a bit of a hang over form the 60s .But great advice none the less