The first msg was cut off for some reason...

My boyfriend and I just found out that we both have genital herpes. We are wondering if there are any "tricks" to performing oral sex without spreading them???

Do you both have the same strain?? If you do, you don't need to worry about it. You can't be re-infected with the same strain. I suspect you share a strain and that one of you gave the other.

Be very careful... Even though you both have the same strain if you have an open sore, even an unnoticeable tiny one, or if viral shedding is happening (which has no visible signs or symptoms) you can spread it to other parts of your body... Like your mouth, hands, face, etc. I've also seen it in a medical book on some one's ear.

Auto-innoculation (spreading it to other areas) usually only happens within the first year of having the virus - before your body has built up it's antibodies. The tone of your email suggests that you've both discovered this by chance, through a blood test. You don't mention anything about having outbreaks. If you've found out through a blood test, and you've never had outbreaks, chances are you've both had it for awhile (more than a year).

If you know you just got it, you can perform oral sex using condoms and/or a dental dam. But nothing is a 100% guarantee.

Thanks for the response... What do you mean by "strain"?

The herpes simplex virus has two strains - HSV1 and HSV2. The common belief is that HSV1 is oral herpes, and HSV2 is genital. This isn't true. Either strain can live in either location.

You said you both have genital herpes. If you both have type 1, then you don't need to worry about giving it to each other. If you both have type 2, then you don't need to worry about giving it to each other. However, if one of you has type 1 and one of you has type 2, then you could transmit the other strain.

Having Type 2 theoretically decreases the chances of getting type 1 quite a bit. Having type 1 doesn't seem to decrease the chances of you getting type 2, but does seem to decrease the severity of the outbreaks. (I'm a little unsure on this statement, maybe MOT or someone can confirm??)

How did you find out you have herpes? Was it through a blood test? Have either of you ever had an outbreak? If not, I don't think you need to worry about autoinnoculation.

It would probably be very helpful for you to download the Herpes Handbook by Terri Warren. It has some basic and some not so basic information about the virus that it sounds like you should know.

Catherine, I am so thankful for your information.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and he and I both had a breakout at the exact same time. Neither one of us have ever experienced this before, so luckily, neither one of know who had it first. I originally went to the doctor because I thought I just had urninary tract infection and some type of rash. He has not been yet, though scheduled to go soon, but our places looked exactly the same. Anyway, I have been strictly researching online so I will definitely check out the handbook that you suggested...

I guess my main concern has been whether or not we can safely continue to practice oral sex. From what I have learned here, I understand that no matter what type of strain either one of us have, it is still possible to spread anywhere else on the body at any time, especially within the first year of the first outbreak. Is this pretty accurate?

Thanks!

It's not possible to spread it ANYWHERE on the body. Although there are cases of herpes occurring on fingertips etc., you really should panic about that. It's incredibly rare. However, genital herpes can transfer to oral and vice versa.

If you both have the same strain, I don't think you need to worry too much. If you are really worried about transferring the virus to an oral location, be safe about oral sex for a year or so. (Dental dams and condoms). After a year, it's highly unlikely that you'd get the same strain in a second location.