I lost my father recently and my heart just breaks. He was too young to die in his mid sixties and he left so suddenly. His life was snatched away from him..........by such a sudden, unexpected departure.

After his death, this life seems unreal to me .........and i feel in parts dead
myself. I just want him to know where ever he is that I love him very very much
and always will and that I want him to be in a place where he receives the utmost love.

because of differences between my parents, my mother had discouraged me to spend alot of time with him and now I feel guilty that I didn't spend more time with him. Never could i have imagined he would just be gone for good so soon , just like that.

Who is going to love me like my father did ? I feel so alone to have lost this parent and I don't know how to deal with this feeling.

I really wish I had the answers to your questions. My father died 3 months ago. Rather suddenly as well. I have all the same feelings that you described. Sometimes the pain is just absolutely unbearable. Sometimes you just really have to let yourself cry. Every time I feel like crying I make sure that I do. It always leads to somewhat of a helpful resolution. Anyway, I don't really have any advice. I just want you to know that you aren't alone in the way that you feel. Take care of yourself.

Perfectsoul- I feel for you. And you are right, all of us that have lost a beloved parent are in the same boat, feelings wise. Thank you for all your advice, I appreciate it.

I wish I could tell my Father just one last time how much I love him and if I
could give him one last hug........

That I will never ever see him again for as long as I live, is very painful and incredible to me. Had my father lived to a ripe old age and then died a natural death, I could have been consoled that it was just his time to go. But I feel
we have been deprived of so many years together.

Now I just want to keep my father's memories always fresh in my mind.
And I can't bear to hear that song on the radio, "when my father and I used to dance"...............

Hi there, I'm very sorry that you have to go through the pain of loosing your father, I can't imagine what you are going through.
If it helps i will let you know the pain I am going throuh just so you know your never alone.
On the 11/2/08 My husband 27yrs old, kissed me goodbye, he was heading off to work, it was raining very heavily this day and i asked him not to leave to go to work, he old me verything would be fine and stop worrying.
I agreed and told him to be very careful, 30 minutes later i had a knock on the door from 2 police officers informing me my husband had just been killed in a car crash.
For 1 week straight i tried to end my life and thought of every possible way to bring my man back.
It's only now I know there is no way to do this, the only thing I can do is celebrate his life, right now it seems like this is impossible but I know there are other people going through the same pain & they survive.
So even though it seems like your going through a mountain of pain, jus know my thoughts are with you.
You are a strong person keep your father in your heart, no-one else can touch him there but you.

Oasis, I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Dad on the 26th of Sept. and my Mom followed him five weeks later. I am an only child so I am now an orphan. I know what you are feeling. I can't believe that I have lost the two most important people in my life. IT was just my birthday and I had no parent to call me and tell me how much I meant to them and how special I am. I can't pick up the phone and tell them what I have been doing or ask how they are or ask daddy how the Vikings are playing.They have missed their great grandchild's first birthday. I know about loss, and it sucks......

Oasis I am so sorry for you (hugs)

I lost my dad on valentines day 2 years ago and some days it feels as if it were yesterday. It does get easier to deal with but there is no answer as to how long that may be. the main thing is that YOU are still alive. although it may feel hard now, you will learn to be able to smile again and learn to see things through new eyes. When my dad died it was very sudden, he was only 55 and for a while i felt guilty for not being with him, not being able to tell him one last time that i loved him.... people will tell you that your dad knows just how much you loved him, i personally feel that this is true but you may like to think about a things that i did for my dad...
Firstly i sat down and wrote him a letter, telling him how much i loved him and missed him. then i went to a garden centre and bought a rose which i've planted at home for him. I still feel that he is with me and because of this, i try to see things every day thru new eyes. just taking the time to look at a flower, see birds flying etc. i feel that by me taking the time to look at life, and think about things me and my dad had seen together, it brings back memories of time spent with him that no-one can ever take away.
Just because he isn't with you anymore, it doesn't mean that you love him any less.no-one can ever love you as much as your dad did, and to be honest, i don't think you would want anyone to try to.
One thing i would say is to cry whenever you need to, and talk as much as you want to about your dad. There is always someone to listen so please dont sit in silence.

sending hugs x

poppy

I know how you feel I lost my dad on August 23rd 2006 and I cant get on with my life my daughter was 5 mo old when this happened and I feel so cheated that he isnt going to get to see her grow up and she isnt going to know how great he was I still cry myself to sleep at night nothing in my life is joyful anymore holidays are ruined I dont know how to move on my mom is having the same trouble I even got on prozac to try and help me but it did no good he was only 68 I believe that it is true when they say the good die young.

I am sorry for everyones loss and suffering. I lost my father 2 1/2 years ago to cancer. He was 57 years old. He was my BEST friend and the greatest man that I have ever met.

I have three children and he was an incredible grandfather to them.

I miss him everyday. I think of him everyday. Yesterday was his birthday - he would have been 60 years old. I remember on his 57th birthday I had a HUGE party for him. He was bald in all the pictures from all the chemo - but SO HAPPY because he had been told the chemo was working. His cake said CELEBRATING THE SURVIVOR.... He passed away 5 months later, the cancer returned and he could not fight it. I was there with him through out his Year long battle. My children and I moved in with he and my mom so that I could help.

I cherish EVERY memory that I have -- every single day.... I miss him more than words can ever say. I don't cry everyday - but I do miss him so much I ache inside. He was an incredible man - and the world is 'less' without him in it.

I feel so blessed to have had him for 31 years. Part of him is inside of me and I cherish that.

Take care and God Bless.

Vanessa

I have only just registered on here and have read all of your messages. So many things run true. I lost my dad 7 months ago to lung cancer. He was diagnosed in feb last year then in august I sat and held his hand while he took his last breath. He was the most important person in my life, and I cant seem accept that I will never see him, hug him and talk to him again. People tell me to think of the 'good times' but i seem stuck in the last days of his life, i dont want to remember my dad as a very poorly man in a hospice, but when i do try to remember the last 31 years it breaks my heart that I will have not have any more memories to make.
My parents slpilt up when i was 3 and I was always daddies girl, he was the one I turned too, he was the one who i valued more than anything and i am so angry that he has been taken from me. I now at 32 find myself having to make decisions (basically i have to grow up) and I feel like a lost child who doesnt know which way to go as my best friend and hero has been taken away.
I cry every day, silly things that remind me of him send waves of sadness over me, and it can be hearing phil collins on the radio (his favourite) or to someone saying his most overused word....'fantastic'. I want him to know how much he meant to me, how much i loved him (although am sure he knew), i told him this over and over when he was really poorly, but can he really hear me if he is in a coma???
My thoughts are with all of you, there is no sense in what we are going through, I just want to wake up one morning and smile because of who he was to me, not wake up sad because I cant see him again.