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View Full Version : New here ~ Introduction and venting


kbm723
03-19-2008, 12:29 AM
Hi everyone, I am a 33 y/o mother of a 19.5 old little boy. (Scott) Scott started talking a little later than usual (after 14 months) but now knows and uses at least 50 words. He also makes eye contact, wants to know that I'm watching him play and accomplish things, is affectionate, will hold his arms out to be held by a complete stranger, doesn't mind changes in everyday routines, but

Even with all of that, he was given the ADOS test and scored on the autism spectrum. :confused: We initally went for help because of his speech delay but they said they noticed some red flags. We haven't met with the therapists yet to discuss the results but a few things they said were red flags were, not pointing enough, eye contact not coordinated with the pointing he did do, and not showing us enough things.

It just seems like a stretch to me to act like you can officially diagnose autism based on one test. The lady that called me with the results depressed the h*ll out of me.

So, my husband and I have been very overwhelmed after hearing that. We find ourselves analyzing every little thing Scott does.

Above all, I do want the best for my son and I do plan to follow the advice of the evaluation staff and get him early intervention. I'm just very overwhelmed about this.

Thanks for any advice or feedback,

Katherine

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kmatthew
03-19-2008, 12:57 AM
We have been down your road, and it is a most frustrating one. Our son is now 9, he makes straight A's in school, he has friends, he is happy. There is hope for you. You are most fortunate that someone noticed this early. Our son was diagnosed at 18 months because he was not speaking very much. He had a lot of repetive behaviors such as repeating part of what people would say rather than coming up with his own ideas, he was fascinated with telling us how many people would leave their garage doors open. We too obsessed over every little thing but quickly learned to STOP.
You have to find yourself an excellent speech pathologist and maybe an occupational therapist depending on rather or not your son is sensitive to loud noise or trying certain foods or if the motor skills need fine tuning. The MOST IMPORTANT KEY is to find a good behavioral psychologist who knows about children who fall on the autism spectrum.
She will work with you as parents on how to deal with the things that you will have to encounter, choosing schools which by the way children copy what they see, so normal schools are best. You must find enviroments that are willing to let your child be who they are.
It will be ok. Your child sounds very high functioning like ours. We just had to learn to go with the flow and to not dwell on this. These children are just like any others, but we have learned they are special gifts from God. I guess we learned that the day we saw him sitting on the ground rubbing the grass. We asked him what he was doing, and at 4 years old he told us that he was waiting for the grass to grow. How many people do you know that would take the time to pay attention to something like that. It is a part of what makes them special.

I guess my final pieces of advice are to not let this diagnosis spoil your best times of your child's childhood. These are truly memorable times just like any other child you need to ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, it goes very fast. Also, treat your child just like you would any other. I also do not advise broadcasting to the universe that there is a problem. The more normal the better. Our son to this day does not know that he is any different from anyone else. If ever becomes an issue, we will tell him. We made so many mistakes along the way, and one of them was obsessing. We learned, and you will too. We were so devasted when the insensitive tester told us the results of our tests. I think it becomes so routine that they forget that this is your child that they are talking about.

Remember one day at a time, there will be many phases. You will have the good and the bad, but you will learn to deal with it. Sometimes it is easier to deal with our son with Asberger's than the one who does not have it. You can do it. You are your child's advocate, and you will learn what they need, and you will learn how to teach others who need to know how to meet those needs.


I hope this helps,
KM:angel:

 
 
 




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