Your suppose to title this and "am I at risk" doesn't seem to fit because I know I'm at risk. There is not one person in my family that isn't an addict to something or other. I witnessed it first hand to say for a long time it wouldn't happen to me but then I started to notice that everything I did resulted in being addicted. I would drink pepsi and I became addicted, I would eat a certain food and become addicted. I felt a real problem hit after I quit smoking cigarettes. I did my fair share of drugs as a kid but got over it and knew it wasn't for me, but I stuck w/ cigarettes which isnt anything to cry about. Sure, it's bad for you but its much better than most drugs ya know. But anyway I quit and felt in my body I needed something to cope with the stress so I turned to alcohol. Not so smart. It's hard to not think about this everyday but I know it's a problem already especially since I've seen it ruin my family but how to overcome it is above me I feel. I am just so sad all the time about anything. I feel the way my genes work I will always need something to cope, and that itself is truly depressing. If someone has any words of advice I would truly appreciate it. I want to be happy and healthy. Thank You! :(

What about seeking some professional help? Since you are sad all the time and always feel you need to turn to something, maybe you need an anti-depressant, or psycho-therapy, or both? You sound like you could benefit from a professional opinion. I was depressed but didn't realize it. Now looking back over the past 4 years there was a chain of events that would have made anybody depressed. When you are living with addiction, all the problems are because of the addiction but you could be trapped in your addiction(s) because it is a coping mechanism to get you thru life.

Just a thought.

Hello rOxY85philly,
Welcome to the Board.

I have been sober from booze for about 8 years now and on day 45 clean from Oxy and Hydro, A recent relapse I fell into.

Just a FYI on the booze. It is a depressant, Drinking it will make you feel more depressed. I felt so bad when I was drinking every day and I thought if I drank more it would make me feel better but it did the opposite.

I agree with talking to your doctor. I got help from mine with both the booze and the pillz.

I have found recently in therapy that I have Hypomainia. I never knew it but when I read the symtoms it fits me pretty good (I am told I am a mild case). I am basically hyperactive for extended periods of time them from time to time I would crash (sometimes only one or twice a year). My doctors have me on some meds to help me manage this and I really feel great. No depression or anxiety. Physically I am still hyperactive but it seems like my brain has slowed down a notch so I can manage. I have AADD too but that is common with hyperactivity.

You may find something lurking inside you as I did and you may not. I have always had an addictive personality also. Anything I was passionate about I would go overboard. Not a good trait when it comes to pillz and booze :)

I wish you luck and hope my little story helped.

Keep us posted here so we can help.

As Always,
Peace.
Baja

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom which they truly are. I will talk to my doctor and I know the best thing for me will be to just not touch the stuff. It's awsome you have been clean that long. My dad is going on 4 years clean and his life is finally starting to fall back into place and I am so happy for him. I know their is so much I can do to help it. So again thank you for taking the time to read my post, and good luck to you too!

Hi rOxY85philly,

I am a recovering alcoholic after drinking for 21 years. I started drinking as a teenager and began drinking heavily around age 21. I typically drank a pint of 100 proof liquor every night and more on the weekends, but i never considered myself an alcoholic; I was jost someone who drank. i was a "functioning" alcoholic. How I made it to work and how I finished college is beyond me.

After 17 years, one divorce, and 6 kids (all boys) later I finally realized I had a problem and I accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic. I realized that my children (some teenagers) needed a father who could set a decent example. That, along with my religious convictions (which I had not followed up to that point) was my turning point and I started to attend AA.

Like many Alcoholics, I relapsed a few times. After each binge I once again stop drinking and would suffer through withdrawls. I didn't find out till later that each withdrawl period is worse than the one before. The DT's were a nightmare turned real. I ended up in the hospital twice, once because I couldnt stop shaking and sweating and I had anxiety so bad I was afraid I was going to die, after 3 days of the DT's I hoped I would die.

The second hospital trip was by ambulance after a grand mal drop seizure. I was going to the courthouse with my current wife to sign some paper work and as I approached the front doors (I only remember walking down the side walk towards the main entrance) and without warning I keeled over backwards, knocked a metal newspaper dispensers over with my head and bled all over the sidewalk. I came to surrounded by strangers, EMTs, and my wife, who had been waiting for me to get there. I was disoriented, aggitated, and delusional. I thought it was a big trick that had been played on me by someone. I didnt think it was because of alcohol withdrawls because I hadn't drank in 4 days and had gotten over the DT's. I was wrong. I'm always worried now that I'll have another seizure.

I began to go to an alcohol counseler and they started me on Camporal, a medication that works on a subconcious level to suppress alcohol cravings and restore the brain chemistry to a pre drinking state. It has worked very well for me ( it takes a month or so to really kick in) and I rarely think about drinking anymore and when I do my seizure experience flashes through my mind, I think about the DT's, the headaches, and the overall horror of alcohol withdrawls and the cravings go away. I recommend Camperal to anyone who is trying to quit drinking and stay sober.

Through counseling, AA (I have laughed harder at AA meetings than I ever have before), and Camperal I have succeeded where I had failed so many times in the past. Those of us with addictive personalities suffer from a disease and it can be managed if bitterness, denial, and rationalizing are left behind. Non alcoholics (or addicts) dont know how hopeless we feel and how overwhelming the desire is to drink. We come to the understanding that this disease is lifelong and will come back with a vengence if we give in to the temptation to have "just one drink" as a reward or to relax or whatever the rationalization may be. The most important thing is to never give up trying to get sober, we don't fight the cravings, we let them go, we can choose not to drink.

The best place to start is at AA meetings you can find your a local meeting through calling the group nearest you at http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_find_meeting.cfm?PageID=29. There they can give you a copy of the Big Book. The Big Book can also be read online at http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/ . Sorry this was so long, hope it helps.

"When someone asks me if I'd like a drink I just tell them I can't because I break out in spots...Reno, Las Vegas, strange hotel rooms. But really, they don't have enough alcohol to make it worth my while" Fellow AA Member

Excellent Post Aaron!

I am sober from booze 8 years now but had a couple of relapses. The last I wound up in ER not knowing how I got there??

Pretty scarry!

I got hurt a few times and wound up on Hydro then on to Oxy and with the addictive personality, I ran with it.

I am on day 44 clean for the Oxy and Hydro and feel great.

Thanks for the insight into myself in your post. You hit the nail on the head Bud. We are not all that different arter all..

As Always,
Peace.
Baja