Is it just the bad mother in me or does anyone else dread the school holidays. This time won't be as bad as i ahve got some help for a few hrs. but my son needs constant and i mean constant ( i left him for 30secs i ahve learn't to pee fast) i heard a big crash and my cooker was smashed. so you can't take your eyes off him. I do dread the holdiays 8.5hrs alone unable to eat or drink as it means you ahve to pee:(.
I hate the school holidays as i work evenings so dh walks in i walk out don't get to eat or nothing. He is 7.5 and so much work i don't think my back can do it for this two weeks (due to my son my spine is twisiting) but social services are no help i ring them i got to the point of saying to sw just take him (i would not do that i love him to bits)
Please tell some of you feel this way and taht i am not a bad mum.

i need to add my son has no idea i feel like this i dread the holidays, but i do things with him and he has NO idea how much pain i am in or that 8.5hrs alone with him is too much for me
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I know exactly what you mean. I can't imagine any parent of an autistic child denying that their child gets on their nerves sometimes (or most of the time). Holidays and other days when school is out are not what I call fun. I am the one who spends the most time with my son, so my husband doesn't understand why I would be so irritated with him. I feel like I never get to sleep or get things done that I really need to do. That's why I'm glad to get my son on the school bus so I can get a break.

Are respite services available where you live? I just recently applied and got approved so my son can be taken care of by a respite care provider. These services are usually limited due to lack of money for the programs, so the next time I apply, I may not get anything. I just have to be thankful for any little thing I can get.

Ohhh so totally know how you're feeling, mine just finished their Easter break and we had our rough days too. I have two that are Autistic (son 6 and daughter 5) and I can feel your pain. My son isn't too bad (thank God since he weighs probably about 80lbs now and lifting him for anything more than 5 or 10 minutes is killer on my back (my wife can't even lift him any more). Fortunately he is pretty good though (content to play video games, watch TV, etc.) and short of him being hungry or tired he is a good kid. My daughter though sounds just like your son. Unless she is tired and watching a movie (like she is right now) take your eyes off her for a second and you'll be sorry! She is a darling little thing but can't stay focused for more than 5 minutes on anything! Extremely frustrating. I've got her in OT, Music and Art therapy, horseback riding, you name it and she's done it. I hung a swing in her room that she can use for hours (spins too!) I've spent more money on these two between therapy, toys and therapeutic devices than I even want to think about and still have good days and not such good days. And respite/CLS care?!? Ha! That's a big joke. You'll spend more time managing the people that are there to help you than you would if you just took care of your son yourself. I've been through more people than I can even remember and they bring more drama into my home than I need. Believe me when I say it's not worth the headache. I've tried lots of stuff and the best advice I can give you is get a swing for him that he can use somewhere in the house and do everything you can to get him some sort of OT (I discovered with my daughter that has probably helped her more than any other thing I've done for her short of the swing.) Nag the and keep pushing until they give you some sort of funding. I don't know how the UK is regarding this but nothing can be as bad as Michigan right now.

Good Luck!