My dad can take my mom out in the morning to do some errands and the second they pull in the driveway it is like a switch has been pulled and my mother starts with " this isn't my house, the people here are going to hurt us, etc." and it gets worse and goes on for hours until she wears herself out and falls asleep. This temperment (sp?) started after a nice dinner out (our usual Friday dinner out) last week and has been going on ever since. The mornings seem fine and she wants to go out, but it is on the return home where it starts. She also does not eat too much and drinks little, but we make sure that she has constant meals thru the day and little drinks often, but wonder about dehydration becoming a factor. How would we know if she is becoming dehydrated (although we doubt that is the problem). She does have a dr. appt. next week, but Thurs. This is really tiring to my dad.
Thank you.

My dad can take my mom out in the morning to do some errands and the second they pull in the driveway it is like a switch has been pulled and my mother starts with " this isn't my house, the people here are going to hurt us, etc." and it gets worse and goes on for hours until she wears herself out and falls asleep. This temperment (sp?) started after a nice dinner out (our usual Friday dinner out) last week and has been going on ever since. The mornings seem fine and she wants to go out, but it is on the return home where it starts. She also does not eat too much and drinks little, but we make sure that she has constant meals thru the day and little drinks often, but wonder about dehydration becoming a factor. How would we know if she is becoming dehydrated (although we doubt that is the problem). She does have a dr. appt. next week, but Thurs. This is really tiring to my dad.
Thank you.
Bless her heart.. She is forgetting that this is her house.. What time does she normally come in? Is it before dark?.. Maybe she is having sun downers .It may be actually getting to the point she needs to remain in an enviroment she is familar with and left there.. : ( Maybe your dad can get someone to watch over her at their house while he is out in about.. So she doesnt get so frustrated..
now about the dehydration part.,. Im not for sure how one goes about diagnosing this..
I know there is some signs.. lets see.
Sunken in eyes, skin doesnt go back into place after being pinched " lightly"
urine out put decreased , confusion, fever and extreme thrist..
Those are a few ..
Hope the DR can help you guys.. Take Care

Thanks for your response. Just to add some more info...most of the errands start out with a blood test (she is on cumadun-my spelling is awful) and then they go to breakfast and then a quick stop somewhere or she will ask to go out to lunch. This has been their routine for years and years. She likes to go out, but maybe you are right..since the coming home has become so traumatic. Oh, and these are all day trips that are usually over by early lunch time except what used to be our Friday special dinner which was always over by 5:30 p.m. or so. Not sure what we will do tonight. I can't put either of them thru it so I might just have to bring food over tonight. Funny thing...she enjoys being out so, it is kind of sad to take that away from her, but we can't go thru what the last week has been like when she comes home.

This whole thing is too, too sad. Thanks for your help.

I agree Broken... it is so very sad. My dad did not recognize his house but he only ask who's house it was and didn't get extremely aggitated about it. He was ok in the house but the outside of the house was a mystery to him. We moved their furniture to the assisted living facility and the walls are painted close to the same color so when he's in his suite he thinks he is home now.

Sundowning doesn't necessarily happen only at night. My Dad sundowns with the sundown but my Mom sundowns with the sunrise. Be sure to mention this behavior to your Mom's doctor and he may be able to come up with a medication that can be helpful in the short term. A small dose of antianxiety meds in the evening was all Dad needed to take the edge off his aggitation. If he did become aggitated we had a PRN (as needed) dose of the same medication available. On the other hand we have tried a variety of meds with Mom and she still has her periodic "melt downs".

I wish you good luck. It is difficult to find an answer to the behavior and sometimes there is no answer until a new behavior takes it's place. Their brain works in mysterious ways and it can be exhausting for them and everybody around them. If it continues to happen every time she is away from home and comes back then your best bet may be leaving her at home at leave for a while.

Love, deb

You said that she has to have the blood test, correct? With coumadin she needs to keep that checked. Perhaps she needs to come home right after the test. OR perhaps you need to have a home health nurse come out and draw the blood for the test as opposed to subjected her to the stress of going out and having the meltdown of coming back in.

My Mom had sundowners, but it was in the late afternoon and it could be dramatic to say the least. My mother was the queen of guilt when she was in her right mind. You have no idea how bad it got when was in her "bad" mind. We all shuddered when she got going. It was dreadful to watch and it just totally drained her. We finally got extra meds to help with the really awful bouts.

For everybodys peace of mind, keeping her at home might be the best for the near future. Even though she has enjoyed the outings in the past, she may have gone past that point now. Or maybe with some meds you may be able to take her out again.... Talk to her doctor and see if they can get her on some meds that will calm this down. It will help bring peace to all.

It's amazing how common the fixation with home is when people have sundowning. My grandmother follows the same track every evening, and you can almost set your watch by it. She asks to be taken "home"; doesn't realize she's in the house she's lived in for forty years. She wants her parents and siblings, all long dead. It usually reaches a peak of yelling/crying then afterwards she calms down and goes to bed. I agree with the suggestion of anti anxiety meds. I give my grandmother a clonazepam pill about the same time each evening. It doesn't make it go away, but it does take the edge off. I suggest any family member dealing with this to ask the patient's doctor for something mild they can take each evening to calm down.
So often you have to be proactive with the doctors and ask for what you want. In my experience they usually don't volunteer anything.

I guess you have to figure out what "home" they are talking about. One of the last times I spent some time with my dad he talked about going "home". I assured him he was home. He ask where Mom would sleep. I assume he was talking about my Mom, his wife, and I said... "In the bed with you". He gave me a very strange look and explained to me that he was not sure how she would like that. I chuckled and told him I was sure it was ok with her. He just shook his head and said...."Mom has never slept with one of her sons". It was then I realized that he was talking about his childhood home and his Mother not his wife/my mother. I had to laugh. In the next sentence he was talking about the home he and my Mom had lived in for 54 years and then he looked around the assisted living apartment declaring that he was home. Sometimes they don't even know which home they are looking for.

Love, deb