Hi Everyone, I need a place and some people to relate to. I need some friends that will support me and listen.

My hubby is a very fragile diabetic with a huge grumpy attitude. Currently, he is quite sick with severe bronchitis, ear infection, and sinus infection. I know he must feel miserable, but he is so nasty. I'm exhausted from doing, "It all," bills, groceries, errands, live stock, running our daughter around, hauling firewood, going to the dump, cleaning, laundry--you name it, i do it. And I do it with a light heart. This weekend set me off into a terrible state of depression. I keep a huge To-Do List, and didn't even get half of it done, that includes laundry (which I'll get to tonight after work, dinner, dishes, homework). Hubby snaps at me for anything and everything. For instance, he's in terrible pain, his ribs hurt so bad from coughing for the past 3 weeks. So I suggested that he give his doctor a call and see if he would listen to his lungs again, to make sure it didn't turn into pneumonia, and to possibly get an x-ray of his ribs.

Seriously about my exhaustion. Last week i layed down in my truck during lunch time and slept. Hubby gets furios with me if I snore at night, so I typically sleep on the couch which makes him angry because he thinks I'm ruining it and will wear it out quickly. I tried sleeping on the floor on a stack of sleeping bags, but am way too stiff in the morning.

Anyway, i need a glimmer of friendship. Some compassion. I need someone to help me lift myself back up so i can continue on.

is anyone here?

chipper (not so chipper at the moment):dizzy:

Hi!
I'm becky, I am a caregiver for my husband, who has Cerebral Palsy.
I don't work becuase it got too hard for me to work and deal with everyhitng else (most of the stuff you mentioned), plus I wore myself out.... I now have a [permanent] thyroid disorder.
Just thought I'd stop by quickly and say hello, you're not alone, and let's chat...

one question, first of all, does your husband get medicaid or any other assistance that would provide for someone to come in during the day?? They could at least help with the cleaning and some of the laundry, and maybe even grocery shopping.

The caregiver needs rest the same as the patient.

My husband snores very loud, too loud for me to sleep. We found that Breathe Right Snore spray and Breathe Right Strips keeps him from snoring so bad. Also he must sleep on his side, preferably the right side to help reduce the snore.

Do you have another bedroom with a real bed? If so, sleep in there.

Tell your husband he has three choices, let you sleep in your bed or another bedroom or the couch. Ask him which would he rather do, listen to you snore or allow you to wear out the couch. Couches can be replaced but a wife cannot be replaced, that is, not as good as the wife he has now that will take care of him at her expense.

Spread a sheet over the couch and it will be just fine. I would not sleep directly on the couch, it does need protection.

I can totally relate. I have been my husband's care giver for many years. He is still able to do some things by himself, but I do most everything around here. I have health problems too and sometimes it is a challenge to get things done. I am retired, so I don't have to work right now.
My husband has multiple medical problems and is 84. Because of brain damage, my husband has difficulties in communicating. He also doesn't understand what is being said to him. I have to repeat everything several times. It is frustrating for us both. Luckily, all his medical problems haven't affected his attitude. He is still the same gentle guy he has always been.
I have someone who comes in once a week to do a little housework. I pay her $20 each time she comes. She cleans the bathroom, vacuums, etc. It is a big help.
I also drive my granddaugter to school 3 times a week. That is a pain in the neck as I have to drive in rush hour traffic.
One of the big bones of contention is meals. He doesn't like a lot of things, so I am relying more on frozen, ready made meals. It is a lot easier to heat something up and have it not eaten than preparing a meal from scratch and having to toss it out. Anything that is easier on caregiving.
The best advise I can give is to take each day at a time and if you can get someone to help with a little housework, it really makes a difference. We are low income seniors, but I would rather pay someone to help me with the housework than feel exhausted and frustrated. I have IBS and a bad hip and back, so I have to be careful not to over extend.
Try to find a little time for yourself if you can. Take care.

Oh Chipper, you're not alone. There are armies of us out here. I began 35 years ago caring for my parents both in late stage cancers.

Most people tell me they would run the other way. I chose this field because I have been there over and over for my family including my husband when we fought his cancer. Caregiving is the easy part it's the emotional drain that we have to work against. Understand that you must take time to care for yourself. Yes, you may have feelings of guilt and yes the way you are treated at times makes you wonder why you must continue in this miserable way.

Hang in there Chipper. Prayers and love coming your way!
Laura

None of you have mentioned Adult Day Care, where I live they provide a handicap shuttle that picks them up in the am and delivers home in the pm. Medcaid, the VA and other programs pick-up all or some of the cost.

It provides stimulation for the elderly or sick. It is not run by caregivers, but by doctors, RNs, Therapist, etc. They take handicap that are on oxygen and having mental problems.

Contact your senior center and/or ask your doctor or a social worker about such programs.

Hi Everyone, I need a place and some people to relate to. I need some friends that will support me and listen.

My hubby is a very fragile diabetic with a huge grumpy attitude. Currently, he is quite sick with severe bronchitis, ear infection, and sinus infection. I know he must feel miserable, but he is so nasty. I'm exhausted from doing, "It all," bills, groceries, errands, live stock, running our daughter around, hauling firewood, going to the dump, cleaning, laundry--you name it, i do it. And I do it with a light heart. This weekend set me off into a terrible state of depression. I keep a huge To-Do List, and didn't even get half of it done, that includes laundry (which I'll get to tonight after work, dinner, dishes, homework). Hubby snaps at me for anything and everything. For instance, he's in terrible pain, his ribs hurt so bad from coughing for the past 3 weeks. So I suggested that he give his doctor a call and see if he would listen to his lungs again, to make sure it didn't turn into pneumonia, and to possibly get an x-ray of his ribs.

Seriously about my exhaustion. Last week i layed down in my truck during lunch time and slept. Hubby gets furios with me if I snore at night, so I typically sleep on the couch which makes him angry because he thinks I'm ruining it and will wear it out quickly. I tried sleeping on the floor on a stack of sleeping bags, but am way too stiff in the morning.

Anyway, i need a glimmer of friendship. Some compassion. I need someone to help me lift myself back up so i can continue on.

is anyone here?

chipper (not so chipper at the moment):dizzy:

I Am Also Full Time Caregiver For My Handicapped Sister. I Take Care Of Her 24 Hrs Day Cook Clean And Sometimes Work Parttime I Hardly Ever Get Break Myself So I Can Relate. Hang In There. You Are A Special Person. I Hope Things Get Better For You

Looking For Others That Are Fulltime Caregivers . I Care For Handicapped Sister 24 Hrs Day. I Have Few Support. Other Family Membbers Have Passed Away. I Have Few Friends. I Would Give Anything To Hear From Other Caregivers Out There.

Hi MArianne.
I am a caregiver for my husband, he has Cerebral Palsy. I do get time to myself, thank heavens, but I also know REALLY well how hard being a family caregiver is!
I'll be happy to talk to ya anytime :)