jennpape
04-10-2008, 10:57 PM
Can anyone help me? This may be kind of long, but I need to explain . . .
I am a 30 year old female and I don't know how to describe my problem except that I have never felt "right" since I was a little kid. I have always suffered at least a mild depression, then a major depression in high school where I laid in bed all day and had the tv on, but could only lay there and cry for months. As a child I did well in school, but was not socially aware, i.e., not popular, didn't understand group dynamics, poor fashion, etc. In high school I was so painfully shy that to even sneeze in class was total humiliation for me. Other kids used to bet on whether or not they could get me to talk. They would poke me and flap my lips with a pencil. I don't know how to explain this, but I guess I just could not do anything, so I just sat there. Kids were cruel to me everyday and were only nice to me when they realized I was the kid they needed to copy their homework from.
As an adult, I have no friends and continue to get fired from one job after another. I have no social skills and am disliked for not being a good team player. When I talk at work, I always know exactly what I'm talking about, but no one else does. People seem to be confused by me and I don't know why because everything I do makes sense to me. Anyway, as a child I was considered smart, but as an adult, I am frequently considered to be slow and stupid. I can remember things from when I was young, but I can't remember what the person next to me just told me. I also cannot comprehend verbal instructions. I have to write everything down in order to remember it.
I need help very badly. It took me seven years to graduate from college (I got kicked out of a nursing program for something I still don't understand) and even though I now have a degree in English, I cannot communicate well with others. I am confused and have no idea why people don't like me and get irritated with me after just being around me for a short time. I feel like I am a good person and I have never done anything to hurt anyone else. Why does everyone want to hurt me?
Does anyone recognize my problems or know what could be wrong with me? I am lost because I went from being a smart "geek" in school to being a dumb adult who can barely get by. Please help!
I am a 30 year old female and I don't know how to describe my problem except that I have never felt "right" since I was a little kid. I have always suffered at least a mild depression, then a major depression in high school where I laid in bed all day and had the tv on, but could only lay there and cry for months. As a child I did well in school, but was not socially aware, i.e., not popular, didn't understand group dynamics, poor fashion, etc. In high school I was so painfully shy that to even sneeze in class was total humiliation for me. Other kids used to bet on whether or not they could get me to talk. They would poke me and flap my lips with a pencil. I don't know how to explain this, but I guess I just could not do anything, so I just sat there. Kids were cruel to me everyday and were only nice to me when they realized I was the kid they needed to copy their homework from.
As an adult, I have no friends and continue to get fired from one job after another. I have no social skills and am disliked for not being a good team player. When I talk at work, I always know exactly what I'm talking about, but no one else does. People seem to be confused by me and I don't know why because everything I do makes sense to me. Anyway, as a child I was considered smart, but as an adult, I am frequently considered to be slow and stupid. I can remember things from when I was young, but I can't remember what the person next to me just told me. I also cannot comprehend verbal instructions. I have to write everything down in order to remember it.
I need help very badly. It took me seven years to graduate from college (I got kicked out of a nursing program for something I still don't understand) and even though I now have a degree in English, I cannot communicate well with others. I am confused and have no idea why people don't like me and get irritated with me after just being around me for a short time. I feel like I am a good person and I have never done anything to hurt anyone else. Why does everyone want to hurt me?
Does anyone recognize my problems or know what could be wrong with me? I am lost because I went from being a smart "geek" in school to being a dumb adult who can barely get by. Please help!
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Pri Lily
04-11-2008, 02:00 AM
I would go see your Doctor, and get a full check up to make sure you don't have any physical problems.
Since you have a degree in English, and I understood what you are saying, you don't have a problem using words correctly.
It sounds like you're fine, if you're doing the talking. When you get into a conversation, your wires get crossed, and they get mixed up.
I think you should take a class in "communications", or something like that, where you converse with people...something to make you a little more comfortable.
There's also an anxiety component here too. When you talk to people you feel as if you're "on the spot", right? This will really make it hard to understand what people are saying...the more you try to understand, the more you don't understand. I would talk to your Doctor about that too.
good luck, let us know....
Lil
Since you have a degree in English, and I understood what you are saying, you don't have a problem using words correctly.
It sounds like you're fine, if you're doing the talking. When you get into a conversation, your wires get crossed, and they get mixed up.
I think you should take a class in "communications", or something like that, where you converse with people...something to make you a little more comfortable.
There's also an anxiety component here too. When you talk to people you feel as if you're "on the spot", right? This will really make it hard to understand what people are saying...the more you try to understand, the more you don't understand. I would talk to your Doctor about that too.
good luck, let us know....
Lil
jennpape
04-17-2008, 06:45 PM
Does anyone else have any ideas or suggestions?!? Has anyone had these symptoms or know someone who has?
trg247
04-18-2008, 03:54 PM
It could be a wide assortment of different disorders and like Pri Lilly said the best thing to do is see a mental health professional who can correctly connect the dots to the right disorder.
darndarndarnit
04-19-2008, 07:26 PM
Wow, my experiences are very similar to yours. I'm 22 so a little younger than you, but I identify with almost everything you have said. Your childhood sounds a lot like mine, and I too was considered intelligent when I was young but am feeling stupider and less and less intelligent as every day goes by. My social skills are rubbish, I'm sure most people don't like me, I have problems with verbal instructions, I feel slow, am bad at communicating, and feel frustrated because I harm no one and yet feel like the worst person in the world sometimes.
And unfortunately, I have no advice or anything to help you. This is just a pointless, 'you're not alone, I am like you' post. Sorry. I think if anything my problems are slightly less bad than yours (sorry, that sounds bad but I can't think of another way of saying it), so personally for me I don't think a doctor would 'diagnose' me with anything. Maybe my brain is just not developed in certain areas, maybe some connections haven't been formed for whatever reason, maybe I was born with certain brain chemistry or structure that made it difficult to learn certain things, or maybe I didn't do enough learning in certain areas when I was younger and haven't made the right connections due to lack of practice.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm going on about really. Just talking crap probably.
And unfortunately, I have no advice or anything to help you. This is just a pointless, 'you're not alone, I am like you' post. Sorry. I think if anything my problems are slightly less bad than yours (sorry, that sounds bad but I can't think of another way of saying it), so personally for me I don't think a doctor would 'diagnose' me with anything. Maybe my brain is just not developed in certain areas, maybe some connections haven't been formed for whatever reason, maybe I was born with certain brain chemistry or structure that made it difficult to learn certain things, or maybe I didn't do enough learning in certain areas when I was younger and haven't made the right connections due to lack of practice.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm going on about really. Just talking crap probably.
jennpape
04-20-2008, 02:50 PM
A lot of people keep suggesting I see a professional. The reason I haven't is because my problems are keeping me from working and I have no health insurance. If I had an idea of what might be wrong, I could find a doctor who specializes in that area and maybe get my dad to help pay for an evaluation. I don't want to ask someone to pay for an evaluation for me and have the doctor tell me there's nothing wrong or that I need to see a different doctor for my symptoms. I could not afford to see a second doctor. I have looked up symptoms online and tried to find disorders that would fit what I am experiencing, but no luck. This can't be possible. There has to be a name for this. It's not all in my head. I am slowly losing my mind.
jennpape
04-20-2008, 02:52 PM
Darndarndarnit,
Thank you. It's nice to know someone knows what I'm talking about. Most people look at me like I'm crazy.
Thank you. It's nice to know someone knows what I'm talking about. Most people look at me like I'm crazy.
trg247
04-21-2008, 04:29 PM
This might or might not help. A lot of what you have gone through and are continuing to go through is similar to my own life. I am diagnosed with severe major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. This may not be the answer your looking for but it should give you an idea of what to look into further.
It is very difficult to say person has disorder A or disorder B without seeing the complete picture which is why I mentioned the mental professional in an earlier post who can connect the dots to give you a better idea of what you are looking at. A general psychologist can do this along with most registered therapists. There are programs out there that can help people without the proper insurance or finances. The best start point for Americans is usually the state mental board/association.
take care
trg247
It is very difficult to say person has disorder A or disorder B without seeing the complete picture which is why I mentioned the mental professional in an earlier post who can connect the dots to give you a better idea of what you are looking at. A general psychologist can do this along with most registered therapists. There are programs out there that can help people without the proper insurance or finances. The best start point for Americans is usually the state mental board/association.
take care
trg247