crazgrl
04-14-2008, 02:17 AM
Hi
My parents live a number of states away. They are both in their 70s. Mom has not had the greatest health, but she is cognitively fine. She has been telling us more and more about my father. For a long time, he has had memory issues. We have felt that it was due to aluminum in antacids that he took daily for about 20 yrs. That is a whole long other story about drs who never helped :( I saw my father over last summer so I observed a few things. But I have been told a bit more from a brother and my mother. My mother and father have always been very private about their medical issues, but out of frustration, I think my mother is opening up some more. There is a slight chance that she knows what is wrong, but I rather doubt it. This is what I do know....
You cannot have much of a conversation with Dad. He does not seem to remember anything about his past. He does do Soduku and puzzle books. He hides candy around the house. He has also been known to flush the wrappers down the toilet. He also misses the toilet while going to the bathroom. My mother has encouraged him to sit, but he won't listen to her. He also says apparently inappropriate things to people. I cannot tell what kinds of things these are. Most often these things are said to women -- teasing. My father was a minister so this is rather odd behavior for him. My mother will not go into details about the conversations, but has told me that the women have asked him to stop. When we visited recently, he repeated certain nonsense things to my 15yo dd. He has always had a mischievous streak, but it did seem quite odd to me since he did not speak much otherwise. On occasion, when I call, he is able to speak to me and answer questions. She has asked him to do thinks like pick up sticks in the yard, and he returns moments later saying he is done. She sends him out again, and he is back in a few minutes again. But my brother did say that he will do things if you give him directions.
I worked in a nursing home for a number of years. I am really concerned. I have not thought it is Alzheimer's due to his lack of long term memory, but I don't know everything about Alzheimer's. We are trying to encourage mom to take him to a neuro. I have two brothers who live within a few hours of them, but one is extremely busy and somewhat uninvolved. I would love to have my parents live with me, but I have no room (we have 6 dc) and I don't think we would be able to move to a larger home with the housing market. One big problem is that my sil thinks that my mother is seeking attention. My brother and mom had a conversation with my other brother and his wife and she yelled at my brother because she thinks that there is nothing wrong with dad and mom just wants people to feel sorry for her. I wonder if she thinks they will be expected to take my parents in. They are the only ones who have room and my brother is the power of attorney. My poor mother had open heart surgery this past year and now has to run the entire household and switch roles entirely with my father. He was her dear friend and now she has no one. When I talked to her, she sounded almost like she did not like him anymore. :( It broke my heart and did not sound like my mother at all. My brother tried to encourage her and say that Dad's behavior isn't his fault, but I don't think she will accept it until he is diagnosed with something. She has applied to two homes (hoping for an apartment), but one has not contacted her in two months and the other one is a bit beyond their price range. He is on Arocept (sp?) and one other medication that I don't know what it is. Mom is very discouraged and depressed. She is also diabetic and this is not good for her blood sugar.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?
I am so sad for my parents. I would love to have them here, but we just cannot do it in my present house. I am sorry to babble on, but I am so worried, sad and feel so useless so far away.
My parents live a number of states away. They are both in their 70s. Mom has not had the greatest health, but she is cognitively fine. She has been telling us more and more about my father. For a long time, he has had memory issues. We have felt that it was due to aluminum in antacids that he took daily for about 20 yrs. That is a whole long other story about drs who never helped :( I saw my father over last summer so I observed a few things. But I have been told a bit more from a brother and my mother. My mother and father have always been very private about their medical issues, but out of frustration, I think my mother is opening up some more. There is a slight chance that she knows what is wrong, but I rather doubt it. This is what I do know....
You cannot have much of a conversation with Dad. He does not seem to remember anything about his past. He does do Soduku and puzzle books. He hides candy around the house. He has also been known to flush the wrappers down the toilet. He also misses the toilet while going to the bathroom. My mother has encouraged him to sit, but he won't listen to her. He also says apparently inappropriate things to people. I cannot tell what kinds of things these are. Most often these things are said to women -- teasing. My father was a minister so this is rather odd behavior for him. My mother will not go into details about the conversations, but has told me that the women have asked him to stop. When we visited recently, he repeated certain nonsense things to my 15yo dd. He has always had a mischievous streak, but it did seem quite odd to me since he did not speak much otherwise. On occasion, when I call, he is able to speak to me and answer questions. She has asked him to do thinks like pick up sticks in the yard, and he returns moments later saying he is done. She sends him out again, and he is back in a few minutes again. But my brother did say that he will do things if you give him directions.
I worked in a nursing home for a number of years. I am really concerned. I have not thought it is Alzheimer's due to his lack of long term memory, but I don't know everything about Alzheimer's. We are trying to encourage mom to take him to a neuro. I have two brothers who live within a few hours of them, but one is extremely busy and somewhat uninvolved. I would love to have my parents live with me, but I have no room (we have 6 dc) and I don't think we would be able to move to a larger home with the housing market. One big problem is that my sil thinks that my mother is seeking attention. My brother and mom had a conversation with my other brother and his wife and she yelled at my brother because she thinks that there is nothing wrong with dad and mom just wants people to feel sorry for her. I wonder if she thinks they will be expected to take my parents in. They are the only ones who have room and my brother is the power of attorney. My poor mother had open heart surgery this past year and now has to run the entire household and switch roles entirely with my father. He was her dear friend and now she has no one. When I talked to her, she sounded almost like she did not like him anymore. :( It broke my heart and did not sound like my mother at all. My brother tried to encourage her and say that Dad's behavior isn't his fault, but I don't think she will accept it until he is diagnosed with something. She has applied to two homes (hoping for an apartment), but one has not contacted her in two months and the other one is a bit beyond their price range. He is on Arocept (sp?) and one other medication that I don't know what it is. Mom is very discouraged and depressed. She is also diabetic and this is not good for her blood sugar.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?
I am so sad for my parents. I would love to have them here, but we just cannot do it in my present house. I am sorry to babble on, but I am so worried, sad and feel so useless so far away.