I know I am probably not going to get the peace of mind that I am needing but I need to throw this out here for any type of thoughts or comments you guys may have.

I am a 38 year old happily married woman with 4 children. All my life even as a young child I have had numerous outbreaks of canker sores in my mouth, lips, and throat. I usually get them at least once a month on a regular basis. I have had mono twice. The doctor's have never been able to do anything about them.......I just let them run their course with no treatment.

I have never, ever had any sores in the genital area. 3 days ago I felt some burning in the vaginal area and it hurt to urinate and I thought I was getting a bladder infection and/or yeast infection. 2 days ago I felt a "lump" in the vaginal area and looked with a mirror and to my horror saw 3 open sores that looked just like canker sores that I get in my mouth. I work in an OB-GYN office so yesterday I had one of the doctor's check it out and she had no doubt that it was Genital Herpes. Classic look and symptoms. She did do a culture and I had blood work done for HSV1 & HSV2 IGG and IGM. I don't have any of those results back yet.

My mind is going crazy!! I have a current outbreak of cankers in my mouth and in the genital area. The doctor told me that there was a very SLIM chance that I could have touched my mouth and then the genitals to pass it on. I have read online that there really is a 20% chance that this could happen but what is so frustrating to me is that HSV1 would be the sores in my mouth and then if I passed it on below then it would be HSV2. Will I ever know for sure if this was passed on by ME?

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. We both did have other partners BEFORE we were married and I have not slept with anyone but him in 20 years and I truly cannot imagine that he has had another partner in our marriage. Not saying that is isn't possible but I am pretty much 100% in the belief that he has not had an affair. Can a herpes virus lay dormant for that long? (over 20 years?) I highly doubt it but I need to ask. My OB-GYN says "No."

How do I deal with this? How do I even approach my husband about this? Will I ever truly know if this was caused by myself or him? I just need someone to respond as my mind is going crazy. Does this also mean that we need to use condoms now with intercourse and that I will always have genital herpes? I just can't believe this is happening.

Also.......will having my husband to a blood test show anything?
Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.

First wait for test results. Canker sores are not herpes. Cold sores are herpes.

If you had herpes since childhood, you cannot get reinfected in another location. (oral to genital with same virus)

Other things can look like herpes. Once I broke out in hives (everywhere) and I even had open sores in my vagina. That was not herpes.

Let us know your test results. We will take it from there.

Since you work in OB/GYN office, I'm sure you can get a lot of info there.

Can you tell me......is it POSSIBLE that this herpes virus could have been dormant in either my husband or myself for 20 years and just came out now?

They say it is possible to be dormant that long. Have you been under unusual stress that may have brought it out? Other than that I'd say is it rare to have such a bad initial outbreak after 20 years if you had it all along.

If indeed you have herpes type 1 orally and type 2 genitally, you wouldn't be out of line asking your husband the hard question. Have him tested. It is also possible he had it for 20 years with no symptoms and you just got it.

You'll never really know.

They say it is possible to be dormant that long. Have you been under unusual stress that may have brought it out? Other than that I'd say is it rare to have such a bad initial outbreak after 20 years if you had it all along.

If indeed you have herpes type 1 orally and type 2 genitally, you wouldn't be out of line asking your husband the hard question. Have him tested. It is also possible he had it for 20 years with no symptoms and you just got it.

You'll never really know.

I have been under a lot of stress lately. I've always been kind of a hyper person who gets worked up easily so this stress is no more unusual than before. With that said.....

Ya know, it's funny........I never knew that canker sores weren't "herpes." My dentist has always told me it was a herpes type virus so I just assumed that. Guess I will find out with the blood test I had right? They did a culture of the lesion (s) and also an HSV blood test for IGG and IGM. The 3-4 day wait is killing me.......my mind is spinning in circles. I haven't said anything to my husband yet.......I need to get those results first. I now know that he needs to be tested, too.

I guess at this point of our marriage there really isn't any need to point fingers. It is what it is. I know I have not been with anyone else. Will this blood test show if this is my first exposure or not?

Thanks for your reply......it means a lot to me.

Just few comments...

A lot of people confuse canker sores and cold sores. They are definitely two different things, but many people get them mixed up. Canker sores occur inside your mouth - those little blisters that occur on the inside of your lip - they usually have a red rim around them. Cold sores USUALLY occur outside your mouth around your lips (it's possible for oral herpes to occur in your throat as well though).

So my question is, when you refer to canker sores - do you mean canker sores, or cold sores?? If you don't know, next time you have one, get it swabbed to find out for sure.

Additionally, if you have HSV1 orally (cold sores), and have transmitted it to yourself genitally - it remains HSV1 - it just moves location. HSV2 is a separate strain, and you would have to be re-infected with that strain. Generally speaking, after you have the virus for about a year autoinnoculation (transmitting it yourself from mouth to genitals) is highly unlikely. With herpes though, there are always exceptions.

MOT is correct - it is certainly possible to have the virus for 20 years and never have an outbreak. It happens to lots of people.

Having your husband tested will tell you whether he has the virus. However, if your mouth sores really are herpes, then keep in mind that you may have given him the virus any time during the last 20 years, and he just hasn't shown any symptoms - so he'd be positive anyway. That's really common. In fact, it's more than likely he will be positive, for just this reason. The virus can be transmitted regardless of whether you have active sores - it's very likely that he's picked it up somewhere along the way!

Do you need to use condoms?? That's up to you. He probably has the virus already - if he does, then you can't re-infect him. If he doesn't - I seriously doubt that after 20 years this will make much difference. However, if you really want to prevent his getting it, then condoms will help. They are no guarantee though, it can still be spread even with protection.

I've always known them to be canker sores.......I have never had any outside of my mouth. I do get them on the inside of my lips but never outside or on the corners so I think they are cankers. I have never had them tested though so I guess at my next outbreak after I am done with the acyclovir I will have them swabbed. I do get them in my throat a lot but they look like cankers. I guess this will be another wait. I can't stand it!

Sounds like canker sores, but a swab wouldn't hurt. I wouldn't stress over it, you've had them since you were a kid so it won't make much difference either way, right? :)