I'm a 25 Year old male who has been in steady relationships with women in the past..that is until I was about 22 years old... Now I only had occasional sexual intercourse with women and I like men a lot more.
I was always very afraid and paranoid with both men and women; thus I would always use protection and would sometimes ask them about their sexual history.
I did have relationships where I had unprotected sex with girls, but very few..
Just 4.. since age 16.
then I started meeting guys online and sometimes would go to a gay bar..etc.
In the last 6 months I have gone on a spree of unprotected sex with a few males.. Insertive ONLY. I do not get receptive anal sex...
Its a total of 5 guys in 2007. and 2 in 2008 and I think thats ridiculous and I should be ashamed.
Some were younger than me, some around my age, and most of the time I would ask them if they're careful and other sexual questions..
I don't like guys that are very feminine who I assume tend to have more risks and receptive anal sex, and they're openly gay and hunt other dudes in bars all the time... I dont like those... not just because of the hiv risk, but they're also not my type.
A few weeks ago I had unprotected sex with some dude...I penetrated him but did not ejaculate in him, I do want to point out he used some sort of enema or douche to wash his rectum out for clean sex.. but i believe that can increase risk of transmission considering my penis is large too and this intestinal wash (saline solution, or douche) can irritate rectum walls and perhaps cause small rashes and clear out good bacteria that may reside in it.. I have been doing so much research and im so scared..
I fucking deserve it.. I wish my fate could be spared but im now very ill and with some acute HIV symptoms.. I dont know if thats what that is..
I have a strong immune system and I exercise regularly, take vitamins C, B12 complex, calcium, magnesium, etc.. not that it matters.. but i eat healthy and worry about my health. Of coarse i dont take vitamins indefinitely, i take them for a few weeks a time and always give my body a vitamin or two that it hasn't had in a while..

Two days ago woke up with a sore throat that now feels more like strep.
I have swollen lymph nodes around my neck, and muscle ache on my legs and thighs, it even hurts when i walk or stand up. I have been feeling kind of weak and fatigued and had a few light fevers when i feel i little cold under the blanket.
I also most consider I have been suffering for seasonal allergies and I had a lot of congestion and sneezing from that.. but that i definitely recognize when i feel it.. this is debilitating, weakening, my throat hurts so much and my urine was coming out a lil yellow.
no burning in the urethra or sings of any other STD.
Since I became sexually active at 16 I never had unprotected sex until last year and this year... i mean i did,, very randomly and in relationships...
I feel so low.. I am also very fit and very good lookin with a nice car (lexus ES 2005) which has placed me at much higher risk i believe..
I was always a stud in school and all the girls liked me, and guys too on the DL.
I dont know.. guys seem to give me their ass raw very easily..

A close buddy of mine was telling me "all because you look good, you are fit and muscular, plus the first impression with the luxury car...
"Guys will rain on you...." and dont doubt some might let you do it raw.
Thats all speculative.. but the one who needs to make it right and always make the right decision is me..

My question is about risk assessment and if anyone thinks I may not be positive considering i was insertive anal sex and not exposed everyday or even every month.. i do use condoms but have been careless lately and that needs to change..

I dont know if my post is vague and annoying, but i know one thing.. is a scary reality for me and I revealed so much detail to ensure you feel like in my shoes and in my position.
i have torso pain, a lil back pain, joint pain, swollen lymph nodes around the neck, and a killer strep throat.. not to mention i had a headache today along with a low fever.

Thank you guys... Im brand new to health mssg, and just wanted to be heard.. i know is a little unconventional the message layout.. but i just felt free and let out my troubles..

Thank you ..

if your in any doubt get tested its scary but its the onlyway you will find out.i had some sore lyphnodes and muscle ache and fever but i came back negative thank god,but as most people say the symtoms are only a guide there not a prognoses so just get tested but your mind at ease and let u get on with life.