I lost my dad on March 13. I live overseas and got there to spend the last 3 days with him. I just flew back to my home overseas. I told my husband not to tell anyone I was coming home. This has been very hard on me and I had no time to myself while in the States. I just feel like I need a week or two before I see my friends and getting out again. I also came home with sore throat and cold so that is not helping. I talked to a friend in the States on the day I left whos husband lives here. I forgot to tell her not to tell anyone I was coming back. She told her husband and he told a friend of mine. I sent her an email to let her know I just wanted a week or two to myself. She replied letting me know she is trying not to take it personal but it is hard not to. She says she is also hurt because I didn't let her know before I came back. I don't know how to reply to her. All I want to do is scream at her. I just need my time alone to try and get myself together. I don't really want to talk about it and I don't want people to tell me how lucky I am that I had those last 3 days with him or how thankful I should be that he didn't suffer long. I can't help it if she dosen't understand. I am trying to do what is right for me because I usually give in and do what other people want. I am really stressed and taking Xanax to help me calm down and ambien to help me sleep. If anyone can help me with what to say to her I would appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

first, i'm so sorry for your loss. i do understand a bit of what you are going through. i lost my dad back in august, and with everything going on making funeral preparations, taking care of my mom, etc...., i completely forgot to call one of my closest friends and let her know my dad had died, and so she hadn't even found out until the day after the funeral. she emailed me and told me she was hurt that i hadn't contacted her. i emailed back and just told her everything i was feeling and how sorry i was that i couldn't open up to her at the time, but that it was just too painful to talk about and that when i was ready to talk about it, i'd let her know. i know it was hard for her, but i couldn't let myself worry about her feelings because i needed to take care of myself. we communicated via email for several months before i was ready to talk to her on the phone again.

if i were you, i would tell your friend exactly how you are feeling and exactly what you need. if she is a true friend, and really has your best interest at heart, she'll give you your space.

Thanks for your advice. I will call her and talk to her about my feelings.