Just to say hello, i am new to this. A year ago i suffered a mental break down and was diagnosed as severly depressed and placed on anti depressants. Nine months later, three suicide attempts and a couple of manic episodes later I was diagnosed with bipolar dissorder a psychaitrist and placed on mood stabalizers. The past few months have been, to say the least, a roller coaster ride (up and down, up and down).
The medication is not working very well as i have three "high" episodes, one of which happened right in front of my doctor. The worrying thing is not knowing when i am going "high".
I now see a new psychaitrist who is questioning borderline prersonality disorder. I am worried as i feel there is something that takes control and gets me to do silly things, one of which is to aimlessly walk the streets at two in the morning, this is not good as i have a tendancy to end up hanging on to the side of a bridge.

To be honest, i just feel like flushing the medication down the toilet and riding this thing out on the crest of a wave.