it's the same day in and day out

I DREAD going to sleep because I know that when I wake up it starts all over again. Nothing ever changes

I fear change or the simple fact that if I set some goal and fail I worry about how I will take it out on myself or if it will make things worse. I don't even take into consideration things getting better because I never see it happening

Hi!

Although your post was very general, I think I can relate to what you are saying. Let me ask you this: is the goal that you set too high for yourself?

I remember that one time, my friend said that she was going to wake up at dawn everyday to go and walk to help her feel physically better. She really did not like to exercise, but she thought that she would begin with walking.

But my friend loved to sleep in! Therefore, after about two days, the goal to walk each day at dawn was abandoned! Obviously, it is not realizitic for her to abandon something she loves (sleeping late) to do something that she hates (exercising).

Does this story make sense? Can you understand how it relates to yourself? Go for small goals that you actually enjoy. And I know you have heard saying this before and it is getting old, but "each day is a new day." If I don't embrace that saying, I cannot move forward, and perhaps the same is true for yourself.

Best wishes!

I'm not really sure if I have any goals

I'm very shy, I have no friends or social life so I would love to be able to make at least one friend. To have some kind of connection with someone I'm not related to

But I'm too scared. That and when I try to go out and talk to people I just end up sitting alone staring at the wall.
I have nothing to talk about anyway. I don't do anything but stay at home and exercise most of the time. I'm not even sure who I am anymore. Not that I knew before my whole eating disorder issues started. I guess I just found some way to deal with it. A way I know isn't healthy but it seems to work.

Or not work since I am really no better off now than I was three years ago.

I don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy and that my head is all over the place. I want so badly sometimes to be able to get out of my own head for a while and be normal

Hi - here is a suggestion for you: I want you to go someplace such as the library or the local flower shop or even a grocery store. I want you to find a person who is looking at something that you are also interested in. For example, if a certain person is looking through a book that you might like at the library, strike up a conversation with them by noting that you like that book as well.

You say that your eating disorder forces you to stay home and exercise. Have you tried group exercise, such as the local gym or joining some sort of a walking club? Try to work into more of a social network that matches your interests.

You clearly cannot "get out of your own head" if you make no effort to leave the repeating environment that you have created for yourself. If you choose not to leave you house, then that is your decision, and your state of mind is purely self-created and you must accept this. If you do not like your situation - it sounds like you do not - the CHANGE it.

Best wishes! :) You have a friend in me!