First of all, I am a worry wart, but come by it honestly. Over the last couple of years have noticed little things. Memory loss in some areas. More recently had to take her meds away from her and my husband and I give them to her. I would fix her weekly box, and then find she hadn't taken them, or taken the wrong day, not really a big deal there, then she began taking them all out of the box and putting them back in the bottles or throwing them away. Would find her taking them all out, laying them in rows on her table and playing with them. Well, that ended that! Now she gets the remote and the phone mixed up, and she has pressed the 911 speed dial. She has also had 2 or 3 days in the last few weeks completely confused and disoriented. Seems to be moving so fast, but I am determined she will stay at home as long as it is safe. Have hired a caregiver to stay with her while we are at work. At least I can concentrate at work now. Don't get much sleep. I stay up until my husband gets home around midnight, go to bed for 2 or 3 hours, get up when he goes to bed, and then start getting ready for work at 5. Getting pretty run down, but if I go to bed, she starts wondering where I am, so I might as well stay up. Mom has always been the strong one, the rock we leaned on. She has lived with us for 12 wonderful years. I can't stand the thought of losing her before she is actually gone. :(
Okay enough whining. Just very stressful, I know everyone here understands how overwhelming it is.

Welcome Susie...
You talked about your Moms meds. Has she been diagnosed with dementia? Has she seen her doctor lately? If not, you may want to check in with her doctor and let them know what's going on as she might just need a med change. Good move on the caregiver 'cuz it sounds like she shouldn't be left alone any more and you need some rest. Believe me when I say Susie that we are all scared and this is a great place to feel safe. It's been a wonderful safe haven for me...
Good luck,
Janie

We do understand how overwhelming it is. I have been where you are Susie except Mom (ALZ) and Dad (Vascular Dementia) didn't live close to any of us girls, didn't want to live with us, and have since moved to Assisted Living. Now I know they are getting their meds and meals as they should. When I call Mom to remind her to turn on her favorite TV program and hear the buttons on the receiver being pushed I know to tell her to look for the other remote. It is such a relief when you know there is somebody watching after them when you can not be there. You definitely need somebody with your Mom at all times for her own safety.

You might want to consider somebody at least a few nights a week. A routine of only a few hours of sleep is not healthy or wise. Sleep deprivation is the quickest way to poor health. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of her.

This is a wonderful group and has been my sanity since I found them. Whining is allowed because we all have our moments. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom..

Love, deb

Welcome, and I hope you find the support and caring I found here.

I am a 'graduate' of Dementia care, my Mom passed away in December.

I remember years ago visiting an Aunt of my husband's; two sisters lived together and the one was the caregiver of the other. This happened in Germany and they lived in a very primitive house without any of the electronic devices we all have now. I remember the healthy one talking about how the AD victim got up in the middle of the night, made a fire in the oven, and started cooking breakfast for 'her children" who were all grown up and out of the house.

That scene just came to me as your post reminded me of my Mom and all the trouble she had with phones, TV remotes, radio stations etc. Technology came along after they were too old to make sense of it. Even at her best, before Dementia, Mom complained a lot about the difficulty of using a push button radio - "why did they take away the simple dial - one dial changes the station, the other one turns it on and makes it louder." Her new radio had 6 or 7 different buttons. She never learned to use it. The TV had two remotes, one turned it on, the other got it into the cable system IF she had the first one turned to "3" .. if not, a blank blue screen. "Its broken again" was how she saw it.

She couldn't make toast in the brand new toaster oven but put it on 'bake' and waited until it burnt. She no longer had a simple pop up toaster that turned itself off! And she never got the hang of a microwave - the whole idea scared her half to death.

Looking back, I think the one ancient Aunt had an easier time caring for her sister than we have with our Moms today - they lived in a town of 300 people and if she wandered off, everyone knew her, everyone knew her condition, someone took her by the hand and brought her home. They had no TV, the phone was plugged into the wall and did not look like anything but a telephone.

But one thing has not changed --- just as today, there was no cure for Dementia. That was in 1965.

Love,

Martha

Welcome Susie,

I lost my Mom the first of Nov last year to this horrid disease. I had lost my dad five weeks earlier to an anuerism compounded by vascular dementia. So I am an orphan of Alzheimer's. I live in VA, and my parents were in Minn., so we faced the difficulty of handling this from afar, especially since I am an only child. It was hard, all the way 'round.

It sounds like your Mom is at the point where she needs 24/7 care, and not just by you. You can't neglect your own health for the sake of your Mom's. It just doesn't work that way. It will only end up with both of you collapsing. Have you thought about a NH for her? It would certainly help with the stress level for all involved. And it would give your mom the round the clock care that an AZ. patient truly needs.

But welcome to the board and the community. I hope you find the answers to the questions that you are asking.

Hopefully you have taken care of all of this but you want to be sure to have a durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney so that you can handle your Mom's affairs. Your name on her checking and financials would also be helpful. Just makes it easier to deal with business when she is incapable. I have spent my morning dealing with contracts, insurances, investments, etc and not sure what I would do without the legal paperwork.

Again.... welcome and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love, deb

Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I do have durable and medical poa. She also has a DNR order.
The getting up in the middle of the night and doing something dangerous is what I am most afraid of. I am making her a Dr appt this week. I will ask for an assessment of her cognitive abilities. The assessment is also necessary for Medicare and insurance to cover home care. Hopefully I can get the appointment so I can take her, but if not, I will just write down all my questions and my husband can just give them to the doctor. Don't know what I would do without him! I know I could not do it alone. She has always been more of a mother to him than his own was.
She took care of her own Mom when ALZ started and I know what she went through, so I have a little bit of a head start. She is rarely oriented to day and date, so bought her a large clock with really large day, month and date. Hopefully that will help some. Started with a flip calendar, but now she does not remember to turn the page each morning.
Food tastes are also changing. Things she has always liked, now swears she never liked it doesn't want to eat it. Makes cooking hard.
Got to sign off, time for meds and to start mentioning every few minutes it is bed time. She went to bed at 10 last nite which is very early for her, so I did get a bit of sleep and felt better today. Living on caffiene tablets and Red Bull is no fun after a while! :angel: The wings don't last as long! :D

The wings do not last forever without refueling which involves down time and sleep. Both of my parents are obcessed with the daily newpaper and I have watched them both check the date on the newspaper repeatedly during the day. Mom reads the news and Dad reads the funnies... over and over. It is the best money we spend for orientation and entertainment. Mom's compulsive cleaning requires that she throw the days paper away each night before she goes to bed and there is a new one inside the door when she gets up.

Hopefully your Mom will be able to visit the doctor and you will be able to get some help sooner rather than later. You might want to ask him about a mild sleeping aid for her that will afford both of you more rest.

I do understand the taste changes. My Dad never liked pizza or other italian food for that fact. Now he chooses Pizza. Mom passed on Shrimp last time I had lunch with them and I was stunned. Dad is fixated on ice cream now and mom has a chocolate sweet tooth. AL is great in that they have two main choices each meal and if they don't want those options they have a selection of sandwiches, omletts, or burgers they can order. A year ago I swore I would not put Mom and Dad in AL... but they are there and for the most part doing much better than they were at home.

I do hope you get some sleep.

love, deb