I am new here, newly diagnosed...HELP!!

I was diagnosed three months ago. It was a terrible affair. But life will be the same, most people have the same thing. This message board proves that. You just have to watch who you have sex with from now on. And make sure you take your medicine when needed. Sooner or later you will learn your outbreaks, as I have (before every period), and you still will be able to have sex. Actually I still have it every other day.

I was diagnosed in October. I never hear anyone talk about oral sex..Is it still possible to do that when one has it?

I guess you and I are in the same boat. I know exactly what you're going through- I've known I've had this for two days now, and I'm kind of just going through the motions of living right now- between the emotional upheaval and the physical discomfort I'd love to just check out of life for a while, but I know that's not the answer. Hope it's some comfort to know that you're not alone- I know it helps me a little.

Red0916

Originally posted by nette:
I was diagnosed in October. I never hear anyone talk about oral sex..Is it still possible to do that when one has it?

Unfortunately oral sex can be tricky, as you have already suspected. The reason being that you can't always count on not shedding the virus from outbreak sites on your genitals, even if you aren't having an outbreak. And unfortunately your partner can catch your herpes when performing oral sex on you.

Having a barrier of some kind will prevent transmission during oral sex -- over a condom if you're a male, over a dental dam or plastic wrap if you're female. A dental dam is a piece of very thin plastic latex used by dentists. Using some lube helps increase sensitivity -- inside the condom or on the genital side of the dam/plastic.

All this applies if you have HSV-2 genitally and your partner doesn't have it (anywhere). OTOH, if you have type-1 genitally, ask your partner if they ever get cold sores (up to 80% of us do), in which case they already have what you could give them.

Hope that helps.

TheOneInFour

Originally posted by red0916:
I'm kind of just going through the motions of living right now- between the emotional upheaval and the physical discomfort I'd love to just check out of life for a while, but I know that's not the answer.

Actually, it might be more of a benefit than you think. When life gets complicated it can really help to greatly simplify your life for a while until you get your "sea legs" with it. Take some time out for yourself, nurture yourself, read and learn, pamper yourself, do things that affirm who you are beyond your health and love life.

You're right that it's probably not helpful to just hide out from the world, but if you approach it like a sabbatical from meeting the demands of life and use it as a way to take extra special care of yourself, it can help you recharge your batteries and strengthen yourself.

TheOneInFour