ok i am 19, my son is almost 2 months he was born march 13th, i am slowly adjusting....anyways, I am already almost ready to blow at people tellin me how to take care of my son! it's not my mother she is really good, its my boyfriend's mother and family. They are always tellin me to stop holding him so much i'm gonna make him a brat! i thought babies at this age were supose to feel secure? and i'm not holding him 24/7 only when he needs my attention (which it alot). also, they are always on me to "put a hat on him" or he isnt warm enough..well first off its getting pretty warm out and he is well dressed enough to where he doesnt even need a hat and secondly when he is overly bundled he breaks a horrible sweat and pukes, i know my baby pretty well already. they keep tellin me if i dont layer him up hes gonna get sick. and blah blah a bunch of other stuff like that, they think they know it all! they also tell me to give him water and i know he doesnt need anything but his formula right now and they always got something to say about what i'm not doing correctly or if i want to take him to the park with their family outtings they will close him off to the world and i find that extremely rude to do when i want him to be ouside and enjoy nice days. i was brought up well and i have good common sense i think if i needed advice i would ask for it! ANYWAYS they are always bringing me down about how i care for him and honestly i think i'm doin a good job i'm just EXTREMELY annoyed at them and i feel like one day when i'm overly tired and on edge i'm gonna snap on one of them. does anyone have some advice that i could let them know to back off some because they really dont seem to be getting my hints that i got it all under control. THANKS!

I don't think that there is really much more you can do short of saying "Back off NOW!". I found that if I just smiled sweetly and did what I was going to do anyway, (eg, remove the hat, open the blanket) that life went on and it stopped me getting too irritated. There is no question that this can be a pain. But, believe me, it is a lot worse when they have no interest in the baby and the child grows up without a set of grandparents. They are living in the past as oldies often do, and want things as they were then. Make it clear that you are a modern mom and your word goes, and they should calm down over the months. Sera

Hi! I understand your frustration completely! My daughter just turned 10 months old and my MIL is constantly telling me how to do things or what to do or what I am doing wrong. I have learned to just blow it off and ignore her. I know it's not as easy as it seems, but the longer it goes on the longer you get used to just ignoring people and doing what you think is best. I do agree with the above poster that telling them to back off is a good idea, but my MIL has selective hearing. :D She pretty much just does and says what she wants anyway and I have learned to deal with it. She is constantly bundling my daughter up even when it's 78 outside. When I pick her up I just take it off and go about my buisness. I don't even bother telling her anymore because like the above person said, she is just living in the past. So, try not to stress and know that you are a good mommy no matter what everyone else has to say!

Good luck! ;)

I'm 39 years old with my 4th baby and people still try to tell me what to do and not do!:) You really do just have to smille at them and just keep doing what is best for your baby. As you said in your post you know your baby better than anyone. You know when he's too hot, too cold, hungry etc..... My hats off to you for being 19 and taking on the resposibility of a baby. It's hard work!! Don't let those people get you down.... I have been totally different with my DD (who is 4 months) We take her everywhere and she gets past around a lot. I want her to know other people and not be clung to me every second. Also, I love to take her out in the fresh air. I think it is really good for babies. If it's a little windy I stick a hat or little light weight jacket on... Not a big deal. Just keep doing what you think is the right thing for your baby and enjoy every second. They grow up soooooooo fast!:(

thanks for your posts, it just seems like if i dont take their advice they keep on me and act like i'm not taking good care of him like they are actually criticizing me. honestly i do think one day i will have to just say back off, i know i might feel bad after since i dont like to be rude to people but they seriously just need to back off because it gets old fast hearing it almost daily.

Your boyfriend should be telling them to back off, not you. He should be on your side and supporting you.

My MIL did the same when I had my son. Put rice in the bottle, give him water, etc. She would tell my husband and then he would tell me what to do. I got so mad b/c if my husband would have picked up a book, he would have seen that you don't do those things anymore. So...I gave the What to Expect Book to him and had him read the areas against giving water and putting rice in their formula. He started telling his mother to back off after that.

Kristen,
I understand what you mean about being rude. I was always brought up with knowing that manners were the most important thing. My parents were very big on manners, so it is VERY hard for me to say anything that would even remotely seem disrepectful to an adult. HOWEVER, sometimes you just gotta be rude! :D My MIL and I will go a few rounds at least once a month and I have learned that I am a respectful person WHEN you respect me. Don't let them make you feel like you aren't a good mother or that you don't know what you are doing. They probably were not experts when they first had children, and they probably aren't now. I don't know anyone who is. You should do what feels right to you when it comes to the care of your child and don't let anyone stand in the way of that or make you feel bad about yourself because of it. I almost look forward to arguing with my MIL now because it actually helps me relieve the tension that I built up towards her for 10 years! :D

I feel for you... my MIL lives far away so I don't get any of that... whheewww.
Instead of being rude about it, what if you just told them in a "matter of fact" and very serious tone that you are the mother and things have changed over the years. So, while you understand their concern, you are the one who will be making all of the decisions and would appreciate it if they would stop giving their input all of the time.
Tell them that it bothers you.
Tell them also that the "doctor said" to do this or that. They won't argue with the "doctor" (hopefully).
It sounds like you're being responsible and a great mom so just know you're doing a good job and use your confidence to put them in their place (nicely).

oooohhhh..... i feel for you! it can be so hard when other people are constantly picking at you about how you are raising your own child!!! my friend used to always give me advice about how to raise my first child, and at the time, my friend had no children of her own!!! it drove me crazy and made it almost impossible for me to want to hang out with her! but like some of the other posters said, i just had to smile sweetly and thank her for her advice and then keep doing things the way i knew they needed to be done.

try not to get offended by their advising. i'm sure they have good intentions. a lot of us older, more "experienced" moms (yeah right! i'm in my 30's and i have no idea what i am doing!!!) do tend to have a bad habit of wanting to pass along our hard earned child rearing wisdom to the younger generations of newer, less experienced moms.... it makes us feel all useful and stuff! it is probably more that they just want to help and giving useless advice is one thing they are good at doing. take it with a grain of salt and keep on doing what you know is best for you and your baby!

oh, and i do love what liloulou said about "the doctor said...." it's true! most people will NOT argue with what the doctor says! :)