those of you with bipolar I or II know when you start going down its not a pity party......right now im nose down and going fast, some of the feelings im having i think are normal for instance...i feel everyone would bebetter off without me....i feel like im a bum....im no good... useless...worth more dead than alive....i know im not the only one with this....but.....im tired of the hell i live in day in and day out, i want it over with..it hurts just to know im breathing,i been apologizing to my wife for her marrying me b/c i know its not easy being married to me, also apologized to my 9 month old son for having a dad like me.......tired of feeling like im the scurge of the earth and my life has novalue or meaning

yes I know that "place" very well, it hasn't been long since I was there. Are you seeing a pdoc, taking meds? If not, it'd probably be a good idea to start that. Coming here is a good start, because it's the one place where we all really know what your going through. Call your pdoc, or get to a pdoc, let 'em know how bad it is...keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

I definitely know how you are feeling. I'm bipolar II and have been depressed for about 90-95% of the last 16 years and it is all too familiar. Stay strong and get help. Keep reminding yourself that this is just the disease that is messing with you. Try and remember that in reality you are loved and people do care. In reality your wife and son would be devastated to lose you. I know it is hard to believe right now and that telling yourself these things won’t fix what you are going through, but they are fact.

Hi,

I suffered from just that kind of depression, with lots of suicidal ideation, for most of my life. It's only now, that I am on Lamictal, that this has lifted.

PErsonally, I think our moods are largely determined by taking the right meds. I tried all kinds of therapies, and nothing even came close to touching the depression. The Lamictal, so far, has done an amazing job.

Seaturtle

I would definitely call your pdoc and let him/her know how bad you are feeling. There is no reason why you should have to feel this way. There are MANY meds and even more combos of meds out there to help you feel better. Take care and let us know how it goes.

painterinlegoff,


I'm feeling very very similar as you are right now!!! I know how are you feeling!! 100% I'm having crying spells - a few a day matter of fact! I'm only working 20 hours a week( i work from home) - I cant make ends meet. I'm home all of the time. I try to keep busy. I did go to the beach today. But I can only do so much since I HAVE NO MONEY!!

I also feel no one has no use for me- I cant find a regular job in this job market. Therefore, my self-esteem is even lower.

So painterinlegoff - I understand where you are coming from!!!

crazi......

Painter

Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing? You haven't posted in a while, hope you're doing better.