I just recently found this website and want/need so much to be a part of it. I need help and understanding and empathy. NOT sympathy. Right now I have so much going on in my life that I'm having difficulty finding a place to start so guess I'll just jump in. Here goes...

Right now I have been sick since Monday night with the cold from hell. I managed to go all winter without getting sick (I had flu and pneumonia shots) and now that the weather's warming up I get sick!:mad: A little background on this: November, 2006 I ended up in the hospital with bronchitis. Dr sent me there after telling me that my o2 level was way low and if I were in a care facility, I'd already be in the ambulance. At this time I was told I have COPD.

I have smoked for the past 34 yrs. Was at 3 pks/day and in the past few months have backed that down to 2 pks/day. I know I need to quit smoking and have tried numerous times, only to get stressed out and start again. I've been trying to prepare myself psychologically, but it's something I need to concentrate on and do on my own and there've been so many things going on in my life that I haven't been able to concentrate on quitting. To the contrary...it makes me reach for a cigarette more often.

I am having so much trouble breathing with this cold and I know I need to NOT smoke before I end up in the hospital again. (We have no health insurance) but I keep doing it. My husband smokes too and has tried to quit along with me, but he too goes back to it.

I was dx with type 2 diabetes 8-1-01 after a very stressful ending to my first marriage. I kept up with management of the diabetes for a while, and when I didn't have income I stopped taking all meds and watching my diet. I'm now back on the meds, but am lost when it comes to my diet. In 2001 I was terminated from my job on June 15. Why? Because I wasn't able to concentrate and do the job I was required to do. (hindsight is 20/20). I was seeing a registered dietician and was halfway through the course when my insurance expired and my marriage totally fell apart. Depression was in this big mess too, and has dogged me ever since. So I need to get back into a class or some kind of routine again. I need to control this diabetes. My current husband has also been dx Type 2 so we can both use help. He's full-blooded Italian and is an awesome cook. There's a problem right there!

I currently work part-time at our local conveniece store, while my dh works 3rd shift sanitation at a nearby factory. My shifts are at least 6 hrs long and I have had so much trouble with my feet that I often sit down and cry when I get home from work cuz they hurt so bad. The bottoms of my feet hurt. Feels like I'm walking on tacks, and sometimes it feels like they are blocks of cement and I can hardly move them. When I go to bed, I have to take ibuprofen or my legs bother me so badly I can't get to sleep.

I could go into further detail of the other circumstances and issues going on in my life, but if you've made it this far I won't bore you any more.

I don't have friends who understand, that I can talk to and I feel that it's all up to me to change things with no assistance from others. I've been trying that and it hasn't worked.

Did I mention depression???

PLEASE! NO sympathy!!!!!!!!!

Oh. I forgot. I'm 48 yrs old. 2 kids, one 22 who just presented me with my first grandchild. He and his fiance are in PA. Plan on moving back here to IA at the end of June. My other is an 18 yr old girl who just moved to AZ 'where it's warmer'. 2 step-daughters, one fully self-sufficient at 19, and the 20 yr old who has done nothing with her life but wander and now is back in the area with no job or transportation, staying with us in a tiny apt, mooching everything off us. We WERE getting a little farther ahead, financially until she showed up. Her, with her offensive attitude and her all blow and no go about what she's going to do with her future.

And why am I here at 2:45 in the morning instead of in bed sleeping??? I tried. When I lay down, all I can do is wheeze. So here I sit, craving a cigarette which is the LAST thing I need!!

I have no willpower. No self-esteem. But I hide my feelings and thoughts from everyone including my dh. I have a screen up in front of me. A wall is probably a better word for it. I don't want to break down in front of others and be seen as a nutcase. I don't want others to feel sorry for me and stab me in the back first chance they get. I don't want to give anyone more of a reason to run away from me and look at me like I'm a crazy person. Wait. Maybe that's what I am.

Stress of course will cause your body to fall apart. Easy to say get yourself together but I'm one who has a hard time doing it myself.

I am not a smoker and so I have a hard time understanding why people can't just quit (my husband smokes). He will only talk about stopping and has made no real effort. We've bought him patches and he won't wear them so I don't know if they work. He's getting ready to start some kind of prescription med to help and I'm hoping he will follow through. You talk about wheezing as you were typing. Invest in something to help yourself at least cut back on your smoking. You are exacerbating your overall feeling bad and adding to that stress with that one habit.

On the blood sugar, I am having a hard time understanding all of the diet but have been trying to read a little every day and gradually parts make more sense. I have not met yet with a dietition as I'm waiting for a little money before I can but pick up some books for you and your husband until you too can afford to see one. Eating for me right now is stressful because I am confused about what I should be eating and is making me hate food in general but I'm trying.

You don't say what your A1c is or what kind of readings you are getting on a blood monitor. You are checking your blood sugar, aren't you? Are you overweight? You would probably improve the condition of your feet by going on a low carb diet and losing weight if you need to. That is what I would aim for. You don't need a dietitian. The one I saw was of no help. Read the posts in this board and read labels on food.

Stress of course will cause your body to fall apart. Easy to say get yourself together but I'm one who has a hard time doing it myself.

I am not a smoker and so I have a hard time understanding why people can't just quit (my husband smokes). He will only talk about stopping and has made no real effort. We've bought him patches and he won't wear them so I don't know if they work. He's getting ready to start some kind of prescription med to help and I'm hoping he will follow through. You talk about wheezing as you were typing. Invest in something to help yourself at least cut back on your smoking. You are exacerbating your overall feeling bad and adding to that stress with that one habit.

On the blood sugar, I am having a hard time understanding all of the diet but have been trying to read a little every day and gradually parts make more sense. I have not met yet with a dietition as I'm waiting for a little money before I can but pick up some books for you and your husband until you too can afford to see one. Eating for me right now is stressful because I am confused about what I should be eating and is making me hate food in general but I'm trying.


Lilli,
Stress has done a tremendous amount of damage in my life. It brought on the depression that brought on the diabetes. I have at times gotten mad at myself and pulled myself up by my bootstraps and pushed on. Right now I don't even have the energy for that. I used to be in the social work field. I KNOW all the things I need to do. I can counsel others, but when it comes to myself, I feel like the biggest failure ever. That there's no hope. I want someone else to care about me but I know that's wrong. That I need to care about myself and not count on others. I've been the strong one for so long that I just can't do it anymore. I want someone else to take over and help me back up on my feet again, but I also know that's impossible. I have to do it for myself. I just don't have the energy.

Good luck with your diabetes, Lilli.

You don't say what your A1c is or what kind of readings you are getting on a blood monitor. You are checking your blood sugar, aren't you? Are you overweight? You would probably improve the condition of your feet by going on a low carb diet and losing weight if you need to. That is what I would aim for. You don't need a dietitian. The one I saw was of no help. Read the posts in this board and read labels on food.


Laura,
My last A1c was 7.3. I haven't been able to check my sugars since then as I haven't had the money to buy test strips. Yes, I am overweight. I haven't yet learned how to eat less of the more expensive foods, so I'm stuck with the foods that aren't as healthy for me, like potatoes and pastas and breads.

I know you've got a point about losing weight to help my feet. I'm also wondering if part of the problem is the meds I'm on. I'm on ActoplusMet 15mg/850mg, glyburide 5mg 2x/day, lisinopril 5mg 1x/day, furosemide 40 mg 1x/day, citalopram 40mg 1x/day, lovastatin 20mg 1x/day. Oh, and 1 baby aspirin/day.

I used to have a list of the recommended exchanges/amounts and I seem to have lost it. Actually I think a dog chewed it up about a yr ago, but that's beside the point. It was so handy.

Espolady, You need to get your blood sugar under control. If you can't measure it, then concentrate on foods that help you to keep it under control. Potatoes, pasta and bread are not what you should be eating. Instead build your meals around protein, salads and vegetables and maybe a small amount of whole grain bread and fruit such as apples, pears and berries. A good book is Dr Bersteins's Diabetes Solution. He talks about lowering blood sugar and creating new capillary pathways to reduce the pain of neuropathy. We had a board member who was 100 lbs overweight, an A1c of 8 and neuropathy in her feet. With exercise and diet, she lost over 100 lbs, has an A1c of 4.3 and no neuropathy.

Espolady, You need to get your blood sugar under control. If you can't measure it, then concentrate on foods that help you to keep it under control. Potatoes, pasta and bread are not what you should be eating. Instead build your meals around protein, salads and vegetables and maybe a small amount of whole grain bread and fruit such as apples, pears and berries. A good book is Dr Bersteins's Diabetes Solution. He talks about lowering blood sugar and creating new capillary pathways to reduce the pain of neuropathy. We had a board member who was 100 lbs overweight, an A1c of 8 and neuropathy in her feet. With exercise and diet, she lost over 100 lbs, has an A1c of 4.3 and no neuropathy.

Laura,
Thank you for caring enough to continue posting to me. Your suggestion for concentrating on the right foods is something I've never thought of when I can't test. Another person's perspective can sometimes help so much more than anything else.

I am like that other member. I could stand to lose at least 100 lbs. I know that with the right inspiration and motivation I can do it. Again, it seems to be something I have to undertake all by myself. I am so tired of being totally responsible with no help from anyone else. Sometimes I just feel so alone.

WOW! That is a lot to go through. I will get straight to the point since you are not wanting any sympathy. I found a book called the pH miracle for diabetes and it is a life changing experience. The book is easy to read and very understandable. I refer to it almost daily. It covers everything that you talked about. You will receive help and find peace if that is truely what you want. I hope that helps.

Thank you for the suggestion, Daisy. I'm willing to try almost anything. I certainly need to find peace somewhere.

Epsolady,

My then 7 year old daughter was diagnosed with type 1. Now, over a year later and on no medication. She has been following Robert O. Young's plan. This has been a life changing experience learning the acid/alkaline balance and how to eat proper.
There has been much out there on acid/alakine balance. I believe Robert O. Young has fine tuned proper nutrition for a healthy body and he understands how different foods affect everything in the body (blood, tissue, muscles, cells, bones, etc.). Through studying his work "The New Biology", he makes it understandable.

I am new to computers and was trying to reply to Epsolady and replied as a thread. Not sure what to do, just learning.