aussiemum50
05-08-2008, 07:33 AM
It is a month now since Jozef my eldest son died in his sleep and it has been a particularly hard day for all of us.
Jozef was an IVF baby so in a way we were fortunate to have him for 15 years. If we had discovered the problem at the base of his brain there was a great likelihood that he would die during the operation or go into a vegative state. Something that none of us would have wanted as he was a very active child.
He was ADHD and was always inventing things; he invented his own taser gun at home when he was 14 years of age and was busy creating other things.
He was always a comedian and liked nothing better than to make everyone laugh at his antics. Infact when he went to the boys brigade cadets when he was 7 years old he reduced everyone to hysterical laughter with his antics.
Boy was the captain not impressed and I was one embarrassed mum!
He loved nothing better than to chase me and his younger brother round our house pretending to be a head crab zombie.
His peers found him a bit of a mystery but fortunately he went to a private school where bullying was not tolerated and he made heaps of friends. That is why over 100 people attended his funeral.
He was a very caring person and would try to make a newcomer feel relaxed and able to fit in.
Adam our youngest, wasn't born by IVF but was a pleasant surprise for us. He misses his older brother and hides a lot of his grief; I've spoken to him and said that it is okay to miss him and cry about Jozef's untimely death and to remember the happy times.
For a long time Adam was afraid of going to sleep and like Jozef not waking up. I've tried to reassure him in that I think that maybe there was a weakness in one of the blood vessels at the base of the brain and it ruptured when Jozef's brain started to grow more. I am going to have Adam MRI or CAT scanned just to reassure him and myself and his Dad.
Still very distraught at loosing Jozef and still have a lot of self hatred and blame for not realising that Jozef had this problem with the blood vessels in his brain.
What makes it harder is that we have only a verbal reason for his death until the coroner reviews the case which could take 2 to 12 months.
I just wish that it could have been me that died and not my eldest son; he had so much to give the world.
As I kept saying to him he and his brother had more intelligence in their little fingers than I do in my brain.
My sons grandfather always used to tell me off for spoiling my boys on their birthdays and at Christmas; I'm pleased I did now.
Well thanks for listening to me prattle on.
All the best
Aussie mum
Jozef was an IVF baby so in a way we were fortunate to have him for 15 years. If we had discovered the problem at the base of his brain there was a great likelihood that he would die during the operation or go into a vegative state. Something that none of us would have wanted as he was a very active child.
He was ADHD and was always inventing things; he invented his own taser gun at home when he was 14 years of age and was busy creating other things.
He was always a comedian and liked nothing better than to make everyone laugh at his antics. Infact when he went to the boys brigade cadets when he was 7 years old he reduced everyone to hysterical laughter with his antics.
Boy was the captain not impressed and I was one embarrassed mum!
He loved nothing better than to chase me and his younger brother round our house pretending to be a head crab zombie.
His peers found him a bit of a mystery but fortunately he went to a private school where bullying was not tolerated and he made heaps of friends. That is why over 100 people attended his funeral.
He was a very caring person and would try to make a newcomer feel relaxed and able to fit in.
Adam our youngest, wasn't born by IVF but was a pleasant surprise for us. He misses his older brother and hides a lot of his grief; I've spoken to him and said that it is okay to miss him and cry about Jozef's untimely death and to remember the happy times.
For a long time Adam was afraid of going to sleep and like Jozef not waking up. I've tried to reassure him in that I think that maybe there was a weakness in one of the blood vessels at the base of the brain and it ruptured when Jozef's brain started to grow more. I am going to have Adam MRI or CAT scanned just to reassure him and myself and his Dad.
Still very distraught at loosing Jozef and still have a lot of self hatred and blame for not realising that Jozef had this problem with the blood vessels in his brain.
What makes it harder is that we have only a verbal reason for his death until the coroner reviews the case which could take 2 to 12 months.
I just wish that it could have been me that died and not my eldest son; he had so much to give the world.
As I kept saying to him he and his brother had more intelligence in their little fingers than I do in my brain.
My sons grandfather always used to tell me off for spoiling my boys on their birthdays and at Christmas; I'm pleased I did now.
Well thanks for listening to me prattle on.
All the best
Aussie mum