After more than 7 months after being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer - and receiving no treatment at all - my mother passed away early yesterday morning. She struggled and fought for the last 6 days of her life. She started last Wednesday at about Noon with her mouth lying open and she was less coherent. Every day she got worse and worse; her breathing was very bad, she was taking methadone, morphine, and lorazepam and regular intervals. She would sleep for periods of time, then wake up and start yelling out loud and barking orders for the first couple of days: "water" "help me" "hurry", etc. It was very strange to see her like that. Then as the days went by she did not recognize anyone or know anyone's voice. She even didn't recognize me - her only daughter - starting on Monday of this week. She would sit up in the bed and yell over and over and over, then finally after fighting for hours (6, 7, 8 or more) she would finally collapse back on the pillows in her bed and sleep (or pass out, rather). The last two days she looked terrible during those periods when she woke. Her eyes were sunk way back in her head, she would just move and move in the bed - up and down and up and down. I finally had to hire a caregiver to help me 24 hours a day because I could not handle her. She did not eat for the last 6 days and she stopped taking any liquids the last 48 hours (we were afraid of her aspirating) - she just took her meds mashed up with a teaspoon of water and they would spoon them into her mouth and they would sit there on her tongue. It was such a horrible sight.

I guess my mother was one of the different ones. She did not pass peacefully or quietly. It was a horrible struggle right up to the last half hour before she passed. I will never forget it.

I donated her body (whole body) to medical/cancer research and her cremated remains will be returned to us in a couple of months. I just hope her having gone through all this is not for nothing, and that by them studying her body and how cancer ravaged it, someone - even just one person - can be helped or possibly even saved.

I hope you all are well. I am trying to pick up the pieces and get her affairs in order. Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband to help me.

I wish you all well.

Summer

((((Summer)))) I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you were going through.

Death of a loved one is always hard, but watching them suffer like that must have been just awful for you.


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Limpster

I am so sorry for your loss....thinking of you and sending hugs your way...it is so hard losing anyone..but i know how hard it is to lose your mom...take care...C

Summer,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel with the pain and shock of seeing your mother go through that, having lost my husband just recently. Please know that I am thinking of you.

Teresa

sorry for your loss. thanks for sharing with us

Dear summer,
i am so sorry about your mother it's like lossing your best friend.
my mother has small-cell lung cancer. the doctors said to just help her enjoy life, but i can't stop crying. i think about how my life will change when she pass. i can't talk the pain i see in her eyes. the doctors call hospice in to help me. i feel go bad that i can't handle her anymore. something she say hurtful thing to me. i know my mother would not do that it must be the cancer. how did you get by? i'm afaird to leave the house because i might come back and she would be gone. i have a 4yr old son who loves his nana. how do i help him get throught this? please if you could help him.

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Very Sorry for your loss my prayers are with you and your family. You have done a wonderful difficult by donating her body for cancer research I admire that strength and wish you only the best.

my mother has small-cell lung cancer. the doctors said to just help her enjoy life, but i can't stop crying. i think about how my life will change when she pass. i can't talk the pain i see in her eyes. the doctors call hospice in to help me. i feel go bad that i can't handle her anymore. something she say hurtful thing to me. i know my mother would not do that it must be the cancer.
Cora, if every day you hold her hand and tell her that you love her, then that is something which you will have with her forever. You can't be perfect in everything you do, but that's one perfect thing that you can do.

I am so very sorry for your loss!!! It is never easy to go through, especially your mother! I just lost my grandmother to pancreatic cancer on April 1st and some of the signs you mentioned in your post sounded so familiar to my grandmothers symptoms/signs... ie: the mouth wide open, breathing, etc. I am still in the grieving process with my grandmothers loss and we're all here if you need someone to talk to!!

Sorry about your mother, My mother had small cell lung ca, Try to take one day at a time, sometimes one minute, enjoy the time you have now, make memories, tell her everything you want so you wont' have regrets wishing you said something but didn't. My mother's went from lung to brain, so yes ignore things that are said that are not things she would usually say, this can be part of the disease. Try to stay in the present and enjoy the time, don't think about tommorrow until it comes.