so i am new here. i have generalized anxiety disorder and get depressed alot. the doctors say anxiety can do that. contribute. im writin because im worried about my marriage. im 20 and my husband and i have only been married 7 going on 8 months. i think im drivin him away. he told me the other day that my panic attacks are annoying and that im always sad. i cry alot. i find things to complain about. i get all sad for days at a time because things have changed and he doesn't hold me like he use to. he doesn't care when i cry, and if i wake him up in the middle of the night because im scared of the storm or had a bad dream he is much less then sympothic. i miss how things were. everyone says that we've just settled but i wasn't ready i guess. i love my husband, and i don't want things to not work out but im so senstive and lately he comes off so cold. i know its my fault because i tell him everything he is doing wrong. even somethings that don't really bother me. i don't know why i do it. i don't know why i get so down. anyone here ever been though this. i don't want to hurt my marriage.

Hello Freedom,

I am not married, but I sympothise with your gda and deppresion. I would highly suggest(if you haven't) to find a psychiatrist and a therapist. You might want to also find a therapist who will do some couples therapy. This can be very productive in a marriage where one of the two spouses is deppresed or has anxiety.

Please remember that medicine and outside help is not weak.



Never alone,

Freespirit

I can understand what your going through. I'm married and suffer from post traumatic stress because of years of living with an emotionally abusive father and a loving but passive mother. I suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression. I've been married to a very patient husband. I've been with him for 10 years. It took me years to realize that if I try to stay busy and keep my mind occupied I'm not as depressed. Try not to isolate yourself. Keep in touch with good friends. I have a few friends but I've developed a strong bond with family members whom I enjoy through e-mail. Stay away from the vampires in your life. If your husband is mature he'll notice the new you and re-learn to love you again.

Couples therapy can assist you. Let a therapist educate your husband so you are on the same page.

Darlin, you and your husband are so young!
Did you have a big wedding? I've seen quite a few over the yrs that were so focused/obsessed on the wedding planning, etc that when the honeymoon was over and normal life begins, it's a big anti-climax.

You've both had a big life change and it's going to take time to adjust to. You mentioned "the doctors" so I assume you are getting counseling and/or been given an anti-depressant.

It sounds like the more anxious/depressed you get, the more hubby backs off. Some guys just don't know how to deal with woman. They have a tendency to want to run when you need them the most. And if your husband is as young as you, he's still growing up, know what I mean.

Try and chill out. Nagging gets you nowhere. Think carefully how you word things - worded just right and you get what you want. Don't act needy, even if that is how you are feeling.

Give it time, for both of you. Think of some fun things you guys did before you got married and do them. Have fun! God, what I wouldn't do to be 20 again;)

Best wishes,

JB