Hello. My daughter sent me this link to try. I don't know what to do anymore, I am at a stage in my life where I don't know where to turn. I have tried to lose weight so many times and I have and I have gained it all back. I am at my worst now. I don't go out much because I am so embarrased about my weight and I have horrible anxiety attacks about it. But I have come to some conclusions of how all of this started. When I was a kid I was always told I was fat and I needed to lose weight. I remember one of my father's girlfriend trying to buy me a girdle when I was only 12. So I learned to not eat in front of people for fear of being ridiculed. So I learned to binge when no one is around. Crazy thing is that I found some pictures of me when I was a kid and I was not "fat" by any stretch of the imagination. I don't know why adults would do something like that to kids. Anyway my problem now is I have become so set in my ways I don't know if I can change and life keeps passing me by and I am not living it.I can't stand going anywhere cause I feel I don't deserve to be out in the world. And oh man the worst of the worst is going to eat out and try to fit into a booth. My husband is no help at all. I don't know what to say anymore. I have cried I have begged I have yelled and screamed for him to stop being my enabler. Bringing my home things that neither one of us should eat. He is overweight too and has high blood pressure. But he will listen for abuot a week and then it starts all over again. And I don't believe he does it maliciously. I just think he believes he is just doing something nice for me. But I hate it. As soon as he calls on his way home and suggests something like chips or fried chicken I cannot say no. First because I don't want to argue and second because I want it too. What can I do? I am so depressed I can't stand it. And I have no one to talk to. Both my kids are thin like my first husband was. But now with my second husband I feel like I am lost. I love him so much but I don't know what to do. If it's here in my kitchen I am going to eat it. Either right away or when everyone is asleep. It's a given. I don't talk to anybody about it because I feel like it's my problem and I should deal with it on my own. We tried to go to weight watchers and only went once. I try to excercize but I am afraid of not finishing what I start so I don't start at all. How freakin crazy is that??? Anyway there is so much more I can say. So much that's bottled up inside me and I don't know if anyone can understand.