Hey, This is my first post so, Hello.

Anyway. In 1999 <removed> I was never really into the whole weight loss thing, it was quite annoying actually. Since then I have gained quite a bit of weight. In the past I didn't watch what I ate. If it tasted good and I was hungry or bored (which was like 99% of the time) I'd eat it. I havn't even had a salad for a looong while. If I outgrew my clothes I'd get a new set. I never had a scale until recently,because I didn't care.
Recently I started to mind my fat when my chair gave out. Legs bent, it was sooo embarrasing I started to cry. I found out I weigh <a lot>. I knew I gained allot but NOT THAT MUCH. jees, how could I have gained over one-hundred pounds in nine years. I am so damn lucky I didn't develop diabetes or something. That I'm aware of.

So I started to explore this new dark world. I unboxed an old pair of jeans from 2000 and attempted to fit them. I couldn't even squeeze in it. Later I tried on a pair of stretchy black pants from 2002 or 2003 or something. THEY HURT. I couldn't even button them sadly, they cut into my sides and formed a massive muffintop thing.
My whole world has changed since I started the weight gain, I went from a thin chick with a little excess fat to a blimp. I start to notice things such as my clumsiness that has developed to the "scrathing sounds" produced by my legs whilst I walk. Some people, like my boyfriend and such insist i'm pretty, and others call me "fatass" and stare while I eat.

I don't know what to do.
If I keep gaining weight I'm an unhealthy fatass, and If I lose weight I feel like a <bad girl>.

Have any advice?

thanks.

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Thank you.

Hey :) Don't worry, all you need to do is start some regular excersise once a week at firs and moderate, eat five a day fruit and veg, drink plenty of water and eat healthy meals. That doesn't mean you can't treat yourself. I think I have an ED-NOS as I have all the symptoms of Anorexia but am overweight I would hate for you to get into that but I know bingeing seems like a good comfort, it's not as you will never get ou8t of the vicious circle of hating yiouself for beuing overweight then eating because you're depressed. That's what happened to me. I was 13 when I turned Bulemic, then after a year I turned it around and devel;oped Emetophobia (an irational fear of being sick) and Binge Eating Disorder and now it's turned round completely. *Trying so hard not to trigger here*

Good luck and always can talk to me if you want :) xx