Buzzbabe3
05-10-2008, 09:22 AM
I originally got on the boards to ask about internal trembling and shaking as that was my most predominant symptom and since then a variety of others have reared their ugly head. I am panicking and would love some feedback. I did feel some calm after others shared that they had this symptom too...been to Dr. and had some bw done...started taking the natural route and saw my ob/gyn who gave me some options. I took the RX for the hormones and let them sit for a few days as I am so leary to go down that road...but after feeling even worse...started taking them. (and actually thought I felt better after a few days) But now I feel as though my symptoms have increases some days...I may have a day or two where I feel almost ok (what a blessing those days are) and then I will wake up and I am in that fog and my legs feel heavy and I feel jumbled...the formication feelings...the peculiar muscle pains that last for a sec or two at different spots on my body...a little weird twinge here and a little twinge there. At first I though the worst was happening to me..that I am dying of some awful thing and then I calmed down...but now I am sky high with anxiety over this. I don't have traditional HF...what I feel is just this general sense of warmth all over but no real sweating...I still get my cycle but it is starting to fluctuate in terms of days in between and how it presents itself. I have been taking some anti-anxiety meds but am trying to keep them at a minimum so as not to become dependent...some nights I sleep better than others. Bottom line is I just would like to know if others feel this way. So unable to truly pinpoint...is it menopause or something else! I am 51 and feel as though I have been peri for some years now but the symptoms havdbeen fairly mild...now it is messing with my head and I am scared!Help!
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alwaysaworrier
05-10-2008, 02:58 PM
I am going to jump in with my story: From reading your post I feel that I go thru many of the same symptoms as you. Don't want to frighten you but my problems started about 12 yrs ago (am 50 now). Back then it was not so bad (thats looking back now, but at the time I felt miserable, even tho it was only occassional!!) Anyway, it started one day when we were out for lucnh and out of the blue I felt this rush thru my head...frightened the life of me and I felt washed out for the whole day afterwards. Some time later I visited with the doctor and she said 'panic attack' and talked about various meds etc for it but I just left it at that and was glad it was only 'panic attack' and not a stroke or whatever. This type of thing used to happen every so often during the followings years and often just felt miserable. Then i started getting what i call an adreline (sp) rush thru my body which would send me into panic over it again and agan. I would feel so weak and my legs would be like jelly. Several times I would mention it to doc and would ask could it be menopause, but she said the normal ' too young'. Then i developed HBP about 4 years ago and put on meds (no wonder!!). Around this time doc started to believe me about menopause even tho bloods used to say no. Tried HRT for a few months but felt no different. Then eventually bloods showed ' menopausal'....i felt so good that day just hearing that!! Things have eased off a lot but I still do have some v bad times. Like you I wonder is this really menopause or is there something dreadful wrong with me and am I going to die...it is terrible. Then sometimes i wonder is it my blood pressure (even tho doc very happy with it) that causes these horrible feelings - the adreline rush thing - oh, if just don't know. A few nights ago I woke up to this burning feeling from my heart area up to my throad and thought 'heart attack'. I got up and took a mouthful of milk and went back to bed and it was gone - now what the heck was that? Scared me i can tell you. So, on and on and on it goes........
The hot flashes - at least thats what i think they are - are just getting the most horrible hot feelingt from my waist up to the top of my head - no major sweating - just an awful uncomfortable hot feeling - lasts a coupld of mins and then gone - I assume they are the so called hot flashes. My periods started getting further apart a coulple of yrs ago, like no sn for about 3 months and then back regular for a number of months and then 3 months again. I have gone 6 months this time and hoping maybe gone.....don't know.
I'm sorry for ranting on but just felt when I read your post that I could relate. I must say (even tho after all I've just said, hard to believe) that I don't feel as bad as often as I used to. How many times have I got this 'wave/gush' thru my body and think 'this is it' 'im going to pass out or die or whatever'.
Hope reading this might be of some comfort to you, knowing that you are not alone or going crazy. I do believe talking about it and sharing experiences do help.
How is your blood pressure, cholesterol etc. I also have high cholesterol (what don't I have!!).
Hope we all get better soon. Thanks for listening.........:(
The hot flashes - at least thats what i think they are - are just getting the most horrible hot feelingt from my waist up to the top of my head - no major sweating - just an awful uncomfortable hot feeling - lasts a coupld of mins and then gone - I assume they are the so called hot flashes. My periods started getting further apart a coulple of yrs ago, like no sn for about 3 months and then back regular for a number of months and then 3 months again. I have gone 6 months this time and hoping maybe gone.....don't know.
I'm sorry for ranting on but just felt when I read your post that I could relate. I must say (even tho after all I've just said, hard to believe) that I don't feel as bad as often as I used to. How many times have I got this 'wave/gush' thru my body and think 'this is it' 'im going to pass out or die or whatever'.
Hope reading this might be of some comfort to you, knowing that you are not alone or going crazy. I do believe talking about it and sharing experiences do help.
How is your blood pressure, cholesterol etc. I also have high cholesterol (what don't I have!!).
Hope we all get better soon. Thanks for listening.........:(
TEdds83
05-10-2008, 03:30 PM
I am going to jump in here too. I am right there with ya ladies. I have weird feelings all the time now. I am already an anxious stressed out person at this makes it worse. I have made several trips to the ER and they dismiss me saying it was a panic attack. I hate it! I am 43 and swear I am in perimenopause. I don't care what they say. I still have my periods and the only last 3 days instead of 5. But I swear my body is freaking out. I have had strange muscle twitches for a year now. I am being tested for everything. No answers yet. Sometimes I get hot flashes in the night and wake up drenched. I get hot sensations in various places in my body and pin prick sensations randomly. It makes me feel like I am going crazy! I feel like no one understands the hell I am going though. I am hypothyroid but that is under control. Every test run so far say all my levels are normal. But I feel FAR from normal. I have more anxiety, stress, weird body sensations, muscles aches and burning, and the list goes on. I feel like I am trapped in a body I don't know anymore. It's not the one I used to have. I want to cry, but what good will that do? I feel alone, and this is the only place I can come to ..to try and find someone who will listen to me or leave me an answer. If this is truly perimenopausal I don't know how I will survive all these years ahead. I tried one day on a antidepressant (Celexa) and that just magnified all my bad feelings and symptoms too.
I was wondering....I keep hearing about the internal shakes....I wonder if that is what I am feeling? I feel like mine are twitches...but they are definately worse about a week before my period, then they subside again. It is all so very weird. I am sorry you all feel bad too. I don't know what to do. If you all have any natural remedies let me know. I find a cup of natural peppermint tea with NO caffeine helps to relax me at bedtime. At least I can fall asleep even if I am shaky or twitchy. lol God Bless you ladies!
I was wondering....I keep hearing about the internal shakes....I wonder if that is what I am feeling? I feel like mine are twitches...but they are definately worse about a week before my period, then they subside again. It is all so very weird. I am sorry you all feel bad too. I don't know what to do. If you all have any natural remedies let me know. I find a cup of natural peppermint tea with NO caffeine helps to relax me at bedtime. At least I can fall asleep even if I am shaky or twitchy. lol God Bless you ladies!
alwaysaworrier
05-10-2008, 03:51 PM
I am wondering also about the internal skakes and wonder if I have them - i don't shake tho but i do feel 'jittery' at times in my stomach area - you could also call it a nervous feeling.....don't know if that is what the others are talking about. Hope somebody will be able to tell us.
As for the muscle aches and pain - would you believe I have 2 frozen shoulders since last summer, about Aug. They are getting better but still have a long way to go. Also, when i get up after sitting or driving for a while - my hips feel achy and takes a couple of minutes to loosen out. My god when i think of everything, how do we cope at all.....we should all get stars!!! You need to laugh at times to keep you sane
I like you feel these boards are the only place to come as any of my close friends don;t seem to have the same problems as me really. That in itself makes you wonder what is wrong with you!
Take care
Maggie
As for the muscle aches and pain - would you believe I have 2 frozen shoulders since last summer, about Aug. They are getting better but still have a long way to go. Also, when i get up after sitting or driving for a while - my hips feel achy and takes a couple of minutes to loosen out. My god when i think of everything, how do we cope at all.....we should all get stars!!! You need to laugh at times to keep you sane
I like you feel these boards are the only place to come as any of my close friends don;t seem to have the same problems as me really. That in itself makes you wonder what is wrong with you!
Take care
Maggie
TEdds83
05-10-2008, 06:23 PM
HI Maggie! I feel that way too. When I tell my friends all these freaky symptoms who are my age too, they go "Really? I don't have any symptoms." and that makes me feel all the worse like why do I have all these weird ailments. I get alot of muscle spasms in my tummy area now. (weird) and my hips and legs get stiff or achy. I was working with school children the other day and felt like I was about 80 years old. I just didn't want to bend down and play with them, ha! It would be too hard to get back up. I know some of this is my thyroid disease. Hang in there! We have each other.:angel:
alwaysaworrier
05-10-2008, 06:46 PM
Yes, i find it so good to share our stories. Was just thinking that I forgot to mention the lightheadness and palpatations i get at times, but i must say, thank god, they are not as bad as they used to be.:)
I know, i often feel like 80 too - stiff and achey!! WE WILL GET BETTER THOUGH.:angel:
Hope someone will be able to help us out on whether what we have is the internal shaking stuff.
I know, i often feel like 80 too - stiff and achey!! WE WILL GET BETTER THOUGH.:angel:
Hope someone will be able to help us out on whether what we have is the internal shaking stuff.
Buzzbabe3
05-10-2008, 10:52 PM
My real onset started with the internal shaking and trembling during the night and then I realized that I started to have it during the day. I also get the twitching thing...I notice it expecially at night. It does get worse at certain times. I decided that I may chart my days on a monthly graph and get a feel for the menopause cycle I am falling into. I have to do something to take some control. I want to see what the cycle looks like...so I can prepare myself!
TEdds83
05-11-2008, 01:41 AM
I am becoming more convinced that these things are perimenopausal or menopausal for us. There are too many of us with the same symptoms. I am light headed alot too. And alot of the symptoms are cyclical. They come and go. I got my first test back from the Neurologist and my muscle enzymes are normal. THANK GOD!! But that still leaves me with. Where are all these symptoms coming from? We will get it figured out somehow, someday. Hang in there ladies. We will make it!:)
alwaysaworrier
05-11-2008, 12:23 PM
I'm curious about another think - i can go for a few weeks feeling pretty normal and sometimes i say to myself this is great - wonder if i'm nearing the end of it - then within a short time of thinking that ,I all of a sudden get that horrible feeling, adrealine rush, weak all over, jelly legs and just downright miserable. It's weird, so now i nearly dread to even say to myself am i getting better:( Just curious if any of you have this happen. I sorta assume that is an anxiety attack?? I don't take any meds for anxiety and really don't want to. It's enough to be taking blood pressure meds. I also take some Omega 3 and a multivitamin
Relevant
05-14-2008, 08:44 PM
I can relate to what you are saying and I am here to tell you it DOES get better but it takes time and it could be years. I no longer get the anxiety attacks but the aches are awful. When I first get up in the mornings I can hardly walk. My ankles and feet are so stiff. My hips hurt a lot. Yes, your right it is nice to just hear someone else has the same symptoms. We are not insane! Blessings to you all.
cmpgirl
05-15-2008, 01:33 AM
I saw my GYN last week for my annual. I'm 46 and still having a fairly normal cycle. I also have been recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and anxiety. Not in that order. I don't have the internal tremors (yet), but I do know from older threads on this board that several women have them during peri and meno, mostly meno and post meno actually.
My GYN said that peri can start in your late 30's and full blown meno averages around 51, for most women. Not all, but most. I know I have talked with some friends and family who are at all different stages and it is depressing to say the very least.
He said that because of the constant hormone fluctuation, you can go from being "fine" one week to horrible the next. So, you are not imagining it ladies. He also said that anxiety and depression are very common and so are thyroid problems and high blood pressure. Isn't this great? NOT! Joint pain is another lovely symptom, as is insomnia.
Hope this helped answer a few questions. I walked out of there not knowing if I should thank him or punch him! :D Take care ladies. We are all in this together.
My GYN said that peri can start in your late 30's and full blown meno averages around 51, for most women. Not all, but most. I know I have talked with some friends and family who are at all different stages and it is depressing to say the very least.
He said that because of the constant hormone fluctuation, you can go from being "fine" one week to horrible the next. So, you are not imagining it ladies. He also said that anxiety and depression are very common and so are thyroid problems and high blood pressure. Isn't this great? NOT! Joint pain is another lovely symptom, as is insomnia.
Hope this helped answer a few questions. I walked out of there not knowing if I should thank him or punch him! :D Take care ladies. We are all in this together.
pammcat
05-15-2008, 08:18 PM
Dear Buzzbabe, Hello... I Am Sorry For Your Worries....i Too Have Had The Internal Tremors, This Was The Most Traumatic Symptom That I Experienced. If You Look Back Into Some Old Postings You Will Realize How Common This Is. This Is A Symptom That Is Not Discussed By Doctors Yet It Is Soooooo Frightening Isn't It. I Have Also Gotten Pains And Aches, Vision Issues , Hot Surges, I Had Terrible Aches Down My Neck That Would Extend To Both Shoulders Very Painful And Scary....in Reaserching Alot...i Found That This Is Quite Common As Were All 33 Symptoms That I Had...i Was Alone In This And Very Lost Until I Found This Board....this Had Been My Saving Grace As It Can Be For You Too........i Started A Good Multi Vit. Then Took Fish Oil/borage/flax Combo. I Started To Use A Lot Of Soy......in Apx. Two Weeks All Of My Symptoms Especially The Tremors Diminished And Months Ago The Tremors Stopped But I Do Get Very Mild Tremors On An Occasion As My Period Approaches,,,whenever That Is....ha-ha-.....when I Was Afraid I Would Ride In My Car With The Radio On....you Cant Really Feel Them When You Drive Because Your Mind Is So Busy...that Will Give You A Bit Of Relief.....the More You Focus On Tremors The More You Will Feel It So Stay Calm.....you Will Not Die From This...ugly Feeling But Not A Life Threatening Thing....keep Calm.....you Dont Want To Escalate The Already Terrible Degree Of Anxiety....keep In Touch On This Board...it Helps And Read The Postings This Will Give You Validity As To How Common These Crazy Symptoms Are....you Are Not Alone...peace To You.........pam
Sillyme03
05-16-2008, 10:57 AM
I also feel my best from the internal tremors when I am driving. Can't feel them much while I am driving.
I wish Dr's would acknowledge the tremors more as well. Just found out someone I know has some also. Not as bad as mine, but remember, we are not alone.
I wish Dr's would acknowledge the tremors more as well. Just found out someone I know has some also. Not as bad as mine, but remember, we are not alone.
kazy68
05-16-2008, 06:09 PM
I know exactly how you all feel, i have the internal shakes/tremors right now, i have only had them for a few days but it really does wear you out, i am sitting here trying to relax but i can't, my legs are aching and shaking inside, i often get sharp pains running through my legs, i hope it doesn't last much longer i need to rest and relax but what chance do we have with going on with our boddies, i hope you all find some relief soon best wishes to you all.
Karen
x
Karen
x
irisheyes39
05-17-2008, 02:16 AM
Just checked in here from the anemia board as I am 42, and most likely in peri. But I am amazed at how many of you have what could be described as anemia symptoms. The leg aches and shakiness is classic symptom.. I have anemia because of heavy periods and then mind numbing fatigue, hbp, anxiety. I am taking iron and B12 now and its getting slowly better. Everyone checked their iron? I had no idea I was anemic until it literally hit me in the face.
pud
05-17-2008, 08:32 AM
Hiya alwaysaworrier,
If you look at my new post (blinking symptoms back full force), you will see that I too (and probably many others) can go for a while feeling better, then as soon as we think we feel better, that's it - off again! I had to laugh at your comment of almost being afraid to say you feel better (especially to family and friends - only to feel you may go downhill again!). How frustrating this all is, but obviously it's yet just another common factor in the menopause, otherwise we wouldn't all feel the same, would we!!??
Much love,
Pud
xxx
I'm curious about another think - i can go for a few weeks feeling pretty normal and sometimes i say to myself this is great - wonder if i'm nearing the end of it - then within a short time of thinking that ,I all of a sudden get that horrible feeling, adrealine rush, weak all over, jelly legs and just downright miserable. It's weird, so now i nearly dread to even say to myself am i getting better:( Just curious if any of you have this happen. I sorta assume that is an anxiety attack?? I don't take any meds for anxiety and really don't want to. It's enough to be taking blood pressure meds. I also take some Omega 3 and a multivitamin
If you look at my new post (blinking symptoms back full force), you will see that I too (and probably many others) can go for a while feeling better, then as soon as we think we feel better, that's it - off again! I had to laugh at your comment of almost being afraid to say you feel better (especially to family and friends - only to feel you may go downhill again!). How frustrating this all is, but obviously it's yet just another common factor in the menopause, otherwise we wouldn't all feel the same, would we!!??
Much love,
Pud
xxx
I'm curious about another think - i can go for a few weeks feeling pretty normal and sometimes i say to myself this is great - wonder if i'm nearing the end of it - then within a short time of thinking that ,I all of a sudden get that horrible feeling, adrealine rush, weak all over, jelly legs and just downright miserable. It's weird, so now i nearly dread to even say to myself am i getting better:( Just curious if any of you have this happen. I sorta assume that is an anxiety attack?? I don't take any meds for anxiety and really don't want to. It's enough to be taking blood pressure meds. I also take some Omega 3 and a multivitamin
Laye
05-18-2008, 04:36 PM
I get those twitches from time to time. There are days when I get them a lot and other days I barely notice them. But I was freaked out about it at first until I started reading these message boards to see that I'm not alone. It's like I just twitch sporadically throughout the day. And I too am afraid to say I'm feeling better in case I'll jinx it. I think you can have episodes that go on for a time when things are really bad..and then they seem to settle down. Last fall I was getting bladder infections and spasms all the time. It's since calmed down a bit..but I do worry it will start up again. I hope I'm through the worst of that. I know that was all peri related. I am getting my period now twice a month about 17 days apart. I had two last month. But I've yet to see anything this month. It's like you never know when it's going to come now. I used to be 28 days..then 21 and now 17. Does anyone else have this? I'm 45.
Laye
05-18-2008, 04:43 PM
I also want to add that I'm horribly depressed the first thing in the morning. I can barely get myself out of bed. My joints ache and I have no motivation. And this does not feel like depression. I've had depression before. This is different from that. It's like I too can feel a change in every part of me. I'm different. I don't tolerate things anymore. Or certain relationships. I've ended two friendships since this all started because I just couldn't take care taking anymore. I can't handle being around people who constantly need me. Does that make sense? It's like I'm finally doing things I want to do. And, does anyone notice how impatient and crabby they are. Like when I'm driving or when people are in my way in the store. In my head..I'm cursing them out. It's like I have this rage. I just can't tolerate as much as I used to tolerate. But on the other side...I let some things go that used to bug me. I don't care as much what other people think of me and that is good. But I just don't want to waste my time with people or things that don't benefit my life in some way. Can anyone relate to this???
Laye
05-18-2008, 04:47 PM
OK..this is a peri moment. Please read the other post on Blinking Back Full Force. I added something and it was on that thread. I thought I was still in this one. Peri!! Being forgetful is quite common. Anyway, I added something that I need advice on and it's in there.
Thanks Ladies!!
<<the other post is moved to this thread -- it appears just above this one -- mod-anon>>
Thanks Ladies!!
<<the other post is moved to this thread -- it appears just above this one -- mod-anon>>
TEdds83
05-18-2008, 10:20 PM
HI Laye, my periods are changing when they start. They used to be every 29 days almost to the minute. Now they can come as early as 22 or 23 days. Sometimes heavy but mostly lighter and only last 3 days instead of 5. Things are changing thats for sure. And mentally...well that is driving me crazy too. The mental fuzziness. You aren't alone!
pud
05-19-2008, 05:22 AM
Hi laye,
I can fully relate to what you say about the depression/mental symptoms being different from previous "ordinary" depression - I've had this in the past too, but the meno symptoms, although in some ways the same, also produce some other very weird mental symptoms. I also relate to losing friends - I fell out big time with my best friend over a year ago because of my appalling behaviour and anger at everything. I have written to her to apologise and tried to explain it was mostly the meno, but as I had a quick temper before, she didn't believe me. I sent her some info about women saying the same thing, but to no avail. My doc said lots of women in meno can become like this, breaking down relationships. In his exact words "women can go round the bl**** bend in the menopause!!" Like you also, I now let many things go that I wouldn't have before. For example, if I've got lots of housework but get invited out by friends, I'm off and blow the housework! It can wait. This is one symptom of the menopause that I think my family are absolutely grateful for, that I'm not my usual over-fussy self - my girls are both finishing uni soon, will be home and their rooms will be a tip again. But you know what? Instead of itching to get in there and sort it out, or nag them, I now just shut the door and think "so what?" It aint important in the scheme of things.
I also relate to finding it too difficult to deal with others' problems/the taking from you. This is all because we are not well ourselves. It doesn't mean we can't be kind and compassionate and not care, but it's no good trying to force yourself to take care of others when you feel so lousy yourself. Can make you worse. We have to become a bit selfish. As a Christian, I've found this hard to do, but we have to!
Good for you finally doing things YOU want to do, I think this horrible phase of life deserves some benefits!!
I also want to add that I'm horribly depressed the first thing in the morning. I can barely get myself out of bed. My joints ache and I have no motivation. And this does not feel like depression. I've had depression before. This is different from that. It's like I too can feel a change in every part of me. I'm different. I don't tolerate things anymore. Or certain relationships. I've ended two friendships since this all started because I just couldn't take care taking anymore. I can't handle being around people who constantly need me. Does that make sense? It's like I'm finally doing things I want to do. And, does anyone notice how impatient and crabby they are. Like when I'm driving or when people are in my way in the store. In my head..I'm cursing them out. It's like I have this rage. I just can't tolerate as much as I used to tolerate. But on the other side...I let some things go that used to bug me. I don't care as much what other people think of me and that is good. But I just don't want to waste my time with people or things that don't benefit my life in some way. Can anyone relate to this???
I can fully relate to what you say about the depression/mental symptoms being different from previous "ordinary" depression - I've had this in the past too, but the meno symptoms, although in some ways the same, also produce some other very weird mental symptoms. I also relate to losing friends - I fell out big time with my best friend over a year ago because of my appalling behaviour and anger at everything. I have written to her to apologise and tried to explain it was mostly the meno, but as I had a quick temper before, she didn't believe me. I sent her some info about women saying the same thing, but to no avail. My doc said lots of women in meno can become like this, breaking down relationships. In his exact words "women can go round the bl**** bend in the menopause!!" Like you also, I now let many things go that I wouldn't have before. For example, if I've got lots of housework but get invited out by friends, I'm off and blow the housework! It can wait. This is one symptom of the menopause that I think my family are absolutely grateful for, that I'm not my usual over-fussy self - my girls are both finishing uni soon, will be home and their rooms will be a tip again. But you know what? Instead of itching to get in there and sort it out, or nag them, I now just shut the door and think "so what?" It aint important in the scheme of things.
I also relate to finding it too difficult to deal with others' problems/the taking from you. This is all because we are not well ourselves. It doesn't mean we can't be kind and compassionate and not care, but it's no good trying to force yourself to take care of others when you feel so lousy yourself. Can make you worse. We have to become a bit selfish. As a Christian, I've found this hard to do, but we have to!
Good for you finally doing things YOU want to do, I think this horrible phase of life deserves some benefits!!
I also want to add that I'm horribly depressed the first thing in the morning. I can barely get myself out of bed. My joints ache and I have no motivation. And this does not feel like depression. I've had depression before. This is different from that. It's like I too can feel a change in every part of me. I'm different. I don't tolerate things anymore. Or certain relationships. I've ended two friendships since this all started because I just couldn't take care taking anymore. I can't handle being around people who constantly need me. Does that make sense? It's like I'm finally doing things I want to do. And, does anyone notice how impatient and crabby they are. Like when I'm driving or when people are in my way in the store. In my head..I'm cursing them out. It's like I have this rage. I just can't tolerate as much as I used to tolerate. But on the other side...I let some things go that used to bug me. I don't care as much what other people think of me and that is good. But I just don't want to waste my time with people or things that don't benefit my life in some way. Can anyone relate to this???
TEdds83
05-19-2008, 06:59 PM
I wonder if I can consider my crazy trips to the casino and leaving the housework behind, putting a diamond on lay away for my ring that I have always wanted, and buying a trip for my family that won't be for another year but I probably shouldn't have spent the money during hard times with the economy. Maybe I am having a midlife crisis. I don't know. I don't really have an answer but I have to put the kakosh on the spending. Now is not the time. But I have really never had this kind of behavior. Maybe I am hiding depression in this manner. Has anyone else done any thing like this?
Laye
05-21-2008, 12:11 AM
I am just very fiesty and buying a ton of self help books to get me through. I feel like when I'm upset..I'm just going to be vocal about it. Stop sugar coating things. I find myself yelling at the entertainment shows on TV. Yelling at the screen. I mean Denise Richards being on Larry King on CNN is crazy! Covering the marriage of Loni Anderson. What has Loni Anderson done lately except survive menopause. For that..she should get attention. Not her wedding! See..here I go ranting and raving. That's all I do now. I'm just so tired of these reality shows that show rich people behaving badly..like spoiled brats most of the time. They need a reality show with women like US!!! Now that would be a roller coaster ride....The Bad Girls CLub would have nothing on us!!